Same Time Next Year
by socact
Summary: Edward and Bella meet year after year, same place and time, escaping from their lives and the people in it. What happens as the years go by? Will something come between them, bringing their ritual to an end? A/H, OOC
1. Chapter 1: August 13, 2019

**A/N: **So I've wanted to write this story for ten years, when I first heard about the movie and read some stories with a similar plot line. The idea isn't original, but neither are the Twilight characters, so I'm telling myself it's okay.

It's going to follow Edward and Bella over ten years (not continuously...you'll see), but the first weekend is going to be a lot longer compared to the others (I'm all about the build up).

Rated M because this story will be loaded with lemons later on. No story of mine is complete without smut!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight, but I hear Rob's goofy laugh in my sleep sometimes.

**Prologue: August 13, 2019**

**BPOV**

The thick scent of pine and salt water assaulted my senses as I opened the door into a beautiful, familiar room. Tiny white lights danced across the ceiling and the walls, casting a delicate sheen on the floorboards. A full moon radiated its steady stream of white light through the windows, giving the room an effervescent glow. I inhaled sharply. Memories of this place, this room, clouded my mind. I thought of him, as I always did. I thought of his painfully beautiful face, his crooked smile, his tousled bronze hair. I felt a tightening in my chest, a reaction to the memory—the absence—of him.

I placed my overnight bag on the table beside the door and stepped out of my sandals as the door closed behind me. A gentle breeze fluttered through the windows, warming the air on this sultry August night. I glanced out the window at the moon and the stars, their light undulating with the gentle waves of the Pacific. I pictured him standing in the water, waist-deep, his hands on the glasslike surface, enticing me to follow…

I sighed deeply. Turning from the window, I walked over to the large bed, draped in gossamer and transparent netting. The fabric rustled with the movement of the air, which came off the waves and left me breathless. The comforter was a stunning royal blue, the color of the sea, and I blushed at the memory of its desecration. It was so long ago now. As though a lifetime had passed.

I gazed into the mirror at my reflection, and I wondered how exactly I had changed in the last ten years. I saw the familiar porcelain complexion, the chocolate colored eyes, the chestnut brown hair that cascaded down my shoulders. My face was thinner, I thought, like the last of my childish features had finally disappeared. I looked more feminine now, more…adult. More beautiful, he had said.

I remembered him sitting here with me, cradling me in his lap, admiring the shy smile on my face as I studied our reflections. Like a voyeur, I watched him kiss my hair, tighten his arms around my waist, whisper in my ear. The mirror had its purpose, I mused. Several, in fact. My cheeks flushed a delicate pink at the thought of our bedroom activities. That, too, had changed over the years, adapting to our moods, our bodies, our experience as time went by.

I quickly lost track of time as I sat there, dangling my feet over the edge of the bed, gazing out the window at the full moon. I knew last year had been different than the others. Something had changed, but I had refused to think about it then. The two of us had come here for a decade, never arranging things beforehand, just showing up on the same date. If one of us didn't come, then the ritual would end. Simple. Infallible. Easy to escape, if one of us wanted to…

Somehow, the arrangement had become my most fiercely guarded secret, as well as the happiest two days of my year. I wondered, sometimes, how he explained his annual disappearances to the people in his life. I had encountered my own difficulties over the years, but somehow I managed to return here, year after year. I wondered about him in the months between our days here, but it was against the rules for us to talk about that; our outside lives had no place in this private corner of our existences. Those were the only rules, really. But they were enough.

The memory of our parting burned more deeply in my mind with each passing minute, and I felt my heart flutter and my breathing quicken. I sensed his absence deep in my chest, pulsing through my veins. I yearned for him, for his touch, for his sweet breath in my ear. I wanted to feel his strong hands roaming across my body, coaxing a reaction from every inch of my electrified skin. I wanted him here beside me, telling me everything was okay, that he was here last year, was coming this year, and would return every year for the rest of our lives.

Suddenly, a gentle knock at the door broke the stillness of the room and the intensity of my thoughts. I raised my eyebrows a bit at the interruption; no one, in all our years here, had ever disturbed us before. I walked out of the bedroom and into the entryway, hearing the timid call of my name behind the door.

I opened it to see the innkeeper there, his face uncertain, his forehead creased with apology.

"I am so sorry to disturb you, miss," he said, addressing me in his languid Canadian accent. "There is a phone call for you at reception."

I never brought my cell phone to this place, and the room itself was devoid of any modern technology. No television, no phone, no microwave in the tiny kitchenette. I only brought a few articles of clothing, and those were even less necessary once we both arrived.

"Oh," I said, surprised. Someone clearly knew I was here. "May I ask who's calling?"

"It's your husband," he replied. And he stopped, dropping his eyes, silenced by the look of shock that graced my face.

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**Promising? Dumb? Unoriginal? Reviews (good or bad, doesn't matter) are much appreciated. Thanks!  
**


	2. Chapter 2: August 13, 2009

**A/N:** That first installment wasn't long enough, so here's some more. I'm going to stick with it and keep posting because I like the story. I hope you do, too.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight, but I found a website that lists all the books ever written about vampires. There's like 80,000. I don't own them, either.

**Chapter 2: August 13, 2009**

**EPOV**

"What kind of lame-ass school has a class trip at the beginning of the school year?" Rosalie grumbled, tossing her radiant blonde hair over her shoulder as she repositioned herself on the couch.

"Aw, don't be a poor sport, Rose," Emmett said, leaning into her, rubbing her leg. They did a lot of rubbing, especially in public places.

"I just think it's stupid. It's not like we haven't met these people before," she complained, her voice rising an octave as she whined.

"There's a hot tub, though," Emmett crooned in her ear. I rolled my eyes. Emmett must spend his days in a constant sexual fantasy, rubbing his hands raw on various parts of her anatomy.

I groaned under my breath, catching a glimpse of Alice and the soft smile on her face. She was sitting across from me, her pixie-like hands in her lap, looking at me with her usual sympathetic expression. She and I had some sort of connection, almost like siblings, but we weren't related. I didn't mind that she could read me like a book, though. I never doubted how deeply she cared about the people in her life.

"Actually, I heard there's a new student this year," Jasper interjected, yanking his headphones from his ears and rejoining the world. We were sitting in Emmett's living room on a rainy Thursday afternoon, pissing away the hours before school started. It was a glorious waste of time.

"Really?" Alice asked sweetly, turning to Jasper. She had had a thing for him for years, but she was too much of a softie to do anything about it. Unfortunately, Jasper was too much of a pussy to do anything either. So there they sat, celibate and miserable.

Jasper and I were close, closer now that Emmett occupied all his free time with Rosalie. We had grown up together in this shitty, claustrophobic hell hole, roaming the same halls and seeing the same people we had known in diapers. I could hardly believe I had only one more miserable year to endure in Forks. Then I would get the fuck out of here, move my ass somewhere warm. Maybe my friends would follow. I admitted I would miss Alice and Jasper's little game, especially when they consummated it in a frenzy of hot sex. But not enough to stick around, that was for fucking sure.

"Yeah, she's from Arizona. Or something. I'm not really sure," Jasper mumbled, because he sounded like a gossip and he knew it. He cleared his throat in an effort to regain his withering masculinity.

"Well, one person isn't going to make this stupid trip worthwhile," Rosalie whined, and for once, I had to agree with her.

"You're going, right, Edward?" Alice asked me, her lips glistening with pink lip gloss, her black hair untamed like the free spirit she was.

I wanted to say no, I really did. I wanted to have an exciting life that made weekend excursions inconvenient, maybe because of a demanding job or a raging sex life. I could have had the latter, but the thought of that with the doormats at Forks High School made me ill. College was only twelve months away. It could wait.

"Uh, yeah, I guess," I mumbled. Defeated once again by the misery that is Forks.

"Don't worry, it'll be fun," Alice chirped.

"And how do you know?" Jasper asked, eyebrows raised. She swooned at the attention as Jasper sat there, completely oblivious_. _I would have to step in one of these days and spare her all this angst, because she deserved it. Alice was the best thing about this town.

"I'm on the planning committee," she admitted softly, dropping her head a bit. If Rosalie had any awareness of her surroundings, she would have apologized. But she only recognized two things, one was herself, the other was Emmett's dick. Shit, I was bitter. I felt like it was getting worse.

"You are?" Emmett prodded incredulously.

"Yes. I am."

"Since when?" he asked.

"Does it really matter, Emmett?" she huffed. She seemed a bit unsettled. I decided to step in.

"What's on the agenda, Alice?" I asked her, turning my emerald eyes on hers.

"Well," she said, her face brightening. "We're going to a little island off the coast, it's like a miniature resort."

"A resort?" Jasper interrupted. The closest any one of us had ever come to a resort was probably the casino out on I-80.

"Well, more like an inn," she conceded. "It's an old hotel on a little island just off Vancouver Island. It's very beautiful."

"Have you been there?" Rosalie asked, suddenly intrigued.

"No, but…I've seen pictures and it looks really nice. And the whole class is going so I know it will be amazing."

"Just the class?" Emmett asked, looking mischievous.

"Well, a few teachers have to go…not everyone is 18," she admitted.

"What are the room assignments?" he asked.

"It's just a little inn, so it depends on the size of the guest houses, but each one has a few rooms that hold two people or so. So it's two girls or two guys to a room, and—"

"Whoa there," Emmett thundered. "Same sex rooms? That's not gonna work for me," he said, smirking at Rosalie.

"Well, I _am_ on the planning committee," Alice said, smiling slyly. "And I'm doing the room assignments."

"Nice," Emmett said. And the rubbing began in earnest once again.

Jasper looked a bit bored by the whole thing, but I had a feeling Alice had something up her sleeve. At least, I sincerely hoped she did. I could see this trip turning into a major fuck fest, and for her sake, I wanted her to be a part of it. And Jasper definitely needed to get laid. He had lost interest in all other girls once he had a sex dream about Alice and realized they belonged together. Unfortunately he hadn't shared that with her yet.

"Sounds good, Alice," I said, mustering a smile. And the countdown to the fuck fest, of which I would not be a part, began.

***

The next two weeks passed in a similar fashion: pissing away my time in Emmett's living room, giving Carlisle shit about various things, and watching Alice and Jasper do their elaborate dance of sexual frustration. I stayed up late as usual, consuming books and making good use of the grand piano. I wondered how Carlisle could stand the sound of it at 4 am, enduring my moods through music. He never said anything, though. Maybe he understood my psyche better than I did.

On Friday the 13th, I rolled out of bed after a solid two-hour night's sleep, stepping onto the sheets that had fallen onto the floor. I twisted and turned and writhed in my sleep, apparently. But I never dreamed. I was blessed—or cursed, not sure which—with a black, dreamless sleep that left me groggy and disoriented. I spent my mornings glaring at people, especially Carlisle, who looked so fucking perky in the mornings even after twelve hours on the wards. Maybe medicine was a worthwhile career path after all. Or maybe he was helping himself to that narcotics stash under lock and key in his office. I'd find out later if I got especially bored.

I headed outside in a sheet of rain, which was really getting old. I couldn't believe we lived in a fucking rainforest. Literally. According to wikipedia, Forks is some kind of non-tropical rainforest or some shit. As a result, I always started my mornings soaking wet, which contributed to the "sex hair" or whatever it was that made every female in Forks horny as hell. Even Rosalie studied my hair with this strange lusty look in her eyes. I didn't necessarily mind the attention, but I didn't seek it out, either.

I opened the door to my silver Volvo and climbed in, turning the wipers on at full speed. Dirt reared up behind me as I shifted into first gear, racing through Fork's muddy roads until I reached the school parking lot. I saw Alice standing by a big tour bus, counting heads and shouting out directions with as much gusto as she could manage. It came out sounding all high and pixie-like, and the throng of seniors almost completely ignored her. She probably noticed, but she didn't care. Alice had a good sense of who she was, and she couldn't care less what people thought about her.

"Edward!" she called when she saw me emerge, still dripping wet, from my car. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and walked slowly over to the crowd of gossiping, giggling teenagers and a few anxious looking teachers. This was going to be fun. I groaned.

"I'm so glad you're here," she said breathlessly, clutching a completely illegible list of names to her chest.

"Hey, man," Emmett said, leaning idly against the bumper of the bus. He had on his usual attire—a T-shirt from some old sports team and faded, ragged jeans. His hair was a mess, like mine, and he looked half-asleep.

"Hey," I replied. "Where's Rosalie?"

"In the bathroom," he said. Then he leaned toward me, and started talking in this bizarre voice that sounded like Emmett's attempt at a whisper. "We're taking a boat to this place. Did you know that?"

"Uh, yeah…Alice said it's on an island. This bus isn't the Splash Duck," I said, referring to the totally fucked up tourist contraption that doubles as a tour bus and a tour boat. I think Jasper owned a T-shirt with its logo, just to spite me.

"Shit, I hate boats," he muttered.

"Where did Forks High get the money to transport us anywhere?" I said, almost to myself.

"I don't know, man. This is fucked up. I don't think I can go now." He actually seemed concerned about the impending boat ride.

"I think you'll be fine, Em. Don't be a pussy," Jasper retorted.

"Shut up, douche," he said, but I could hear fear in his voice. I chuckled.

"Dude," Emmett whispered to me, just under his breath. "Do not tell Rosalie about this."

"About what?"

"You know what. I don't want her…doubting my manliness. If you know what I mean."

"Sure," I said, still laughing as I walked to the side of the bus and threw my shit in there with a collection of pink suitcases and sweaty duffle bags. At least I would have the pleasure of watching Emmett clutch Rosalie's hand all the way from here to wherever the hell we were going.

I climbed into the bus and headed toward an empty seat in the back, next to Jasper. Alice's role as coordinator meant she had to sit next to Mr. Banner, who had already started rambling about amoebas when I passed her by. I smiled sympathetically at her, and she smiled politely back, making sure that Mr. Banner knew how utterly enthralled she was. Evidently he dictated the activities of this trip—at least, the ones he knew of.

"For you," Jasper said to me, as he pulled his backpack off the seat next to him.

"Great choice, Jazz," I replied. "Right next to the fucking bathroom. Do you have any idea how long those shits have festered in there?"

"Hey, if you want to sit next to Stanley, feel free. She's up there giving you her O-face."

I sat down, shoving my seat back as far as it would go. Jasper snickered.

"You're the pussy here, not me," I said, closing my eyes as I leaned back. "Alice is the only quality girl in this school, and you're watching from the sidelines. It's pathetic."

"Hey, I'm working on it. All is going according to plan," he said.

"Right."

I vaguely heard the sound of Alice's voice as she called out names and checked them off her list. She was going in reverse alphabetical order by first name, which was so…her. Alice sought out quirkiness.

"Bella Swan?" she called, and my ears buzzed. I hadn't heard that name before.

"Bella Swan!" she yelled, but it came out like a squeak.

Just then, the bus door opened with a mechanical sigh and a slender, unfamiliar brunette stumbled onto the bus. Literally. She tripped over the top step and her backpack went sailing over her head, taking her with it. A few people laughed, but I just stared at her, watching her porcelain cheeks flush a deep pink.

"I'm here," she mumbled, searching frantically for a free seat. There was only one left, and it was the one seat closer to the toilet than mine was. She stared at the floor as she walked carefully down the middle aisle, willing herself not to fall. I studied her delicate features, her soft brown eyes and rich chestnut hair. It fell to her back in soft, lazy curls, and she brushed a few wayward strands from her face. She was small and slender, her figure hidden by a bulky jacket that reached to the top of her knees. She had a striking, radiant face, even as she struggled to suppress the pink hue that colored her cheeks. It was so fucking _adorable_.

Her eyes darted nervously across the aisles as she scanned the bus for an empty seat. I quickly darted my eyes away from her, annoyed and kind of surprised to realize that I'd been staring. She was getting closer, her cheeks reddening under the intense stares of 50 other high schoolers. Finally she seemed to resign herself to the fact that she, too, would be sitting in dangerous proximity to a moving toilet.

"Is this seat taken?" she asked me, still breathing quickly with embarrassment.

"No," I said, meeting her eyes, feeling the fire in her gaze. "It's all yours."

"Thanks," she said, lingering on my eyes just a moment too long, maybe wondering what the hell I was up to. I had no idea what the hell I was up to. I just couldn't stop looking at her.

In sharp contrast to her entrance onto the bus, she sat down gracefully and slipped her bag beneath the seat. She turned toward the window, leaning so close to it that I could see her breath on the glass. She sighed, and I almost felt sorry for her. _Almost_—because this girl was fucking magnetic. She had some kind of freaky power over me and it was starting to piss me off.

"You're looking kind of hot and bothered over there, man. You okay?" Jasper teased. "Taken by the new girl?"

"What?" I asked, doing my best to sound like I didn't give a shit.

"Uh huh. I saw your face."

"Can you lower your voice? She's sitting like five feet away."

"Relax, she's got her earphones in. She's probably blasting The Fray loud enough to fry her brain."

"I doubt it," I said, but caught myself. It sounded for a second there like I was defending this person I didn't even know.

"Hey, Bella," Jasper called, reaching over me to nudge her elbow. She turned when she felt the pressure on her arm. At least Jasper had been right about the volume of the music.

"What the—" I muttered as he pulled his arm back and managed to elbow me in the gut. I groaned in pain as he sat back up, looking at her, and at me, and back at her again.

"Um. Yeah?" she said in a soft, musical voice that sounded like rain.

"Edward here wants to know what kind of music you're listening to," he paused, registering the panicked, surprised look on her face. "This is Edward by the way. And I'm Jasper. It's nice to meet you."

"You too," she said, managing a weak smile. I glared at Jasper as a big grin lit up his goofy face.

"So then?" he asked. "What's the song of choice?"

"Oh," she said, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. She blushed again, but this time it spread from her beautiful face all the way down to her collarbone. It was furiously intoxicating.

"Just some D'Angelo," she said, so quietly that the slow rumble of the bus almost drowned her out completely.

I sat in silence, feigning utter disinterest. Shit, this girl liked _D'Angelo_? I was willing to put money on the fact that I was the only person in Forks who had even heard of him. He was a fucking god. Not only that, but his music was sexy as all hell.

Jasper waited for me to say something, but I let the silence linger. I refused to say anything, to play a part in this weird experiment of his. He was a genuinely nice guy, and I didn't think he was trying to torture her. He was sure as fuck torturing me, though.

"Nice," he said, realizing then that I had won this particular battle. I stole a glance at Bella, who smiled shyly at us both, and then turned back to the window, studying at the rain as it slid across the glass. My gaze lingered on her back, but just for a second, just to see her breathe deeply, releasing the tension from her slender frame. I leaned back in my seat and willed myself to close my eyes.

"You can thank me later," Jasper said, and I heard him pull out a book of some sort and turn the pages.

I said nothing, still reeling from my first interaction with the antisocial new girl and Jasper's eagerness to make me uncomfortable. And what the hell did he mean by "you can thank me later"? I'd be thankful when this fucking bus ride ended, and I could pretend that certain people—namely the other 50 people on this bus, and especially the brooding one across the aisle—didn't exist.

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**More angsty bad moods to come...please review! **


	3. Chapter 3: August 13, 2009 cont

**A/N: **I swear, Edward loosens up eventually...

I'm going to try and post a chapter a day for a while.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight or its addictive characters (except Tanya. Was not a fan).

**Chapter 3: August 19, 2009 (continued)**

**EPOV**

At some point a few hours later, I awoke to the sound of the bus driver yelling some crazy shit about a "pit stop" at the top of his gravelly lungs. We lurched to a halt outside some dilapidated establishment, and everyone poured out of the bus like it was on fire. I tried to go back to sleep, but I heard Jasper rummaging through his bag for some cash.

"I need a cheeseburger like you wouldn't believe," he said, removing socks, boxers, a book, and a condom from the depths of his backpack. "I'm starving."

"Maybe you could barter for one with that condom," I said with a smirk on my face. I heard a stifled laugh across the aisle, and from the corner of my eye, I saw Bella cover her mouth with her hand. For a few hours, I had forgotten all about her. I had tried to forget about her.

"I'm going. Do you want anything?" Jasper asked, as he shuffled between my legs and the seat. He would stop at nothing for a greasy burger.

"No, I'm good," I said.

"Good. Can you spot me then? I don't have any cash."

"Shit, Jasper. Can't you use an ATM or something?"

"Did you actually see this place, Edward? They only take cash and food stamps."

"Okay, whatever. Here," I grumbled, as I reached into my wallet and handed him a twenty.

"You know I love you," he said with a smirk, snatching the cash from my hand and hurrying up the aisle. The whole bus had cleared out in a span of 45 seconds. My head suddenly hurt and I leaned back into the seat, still feeling the effects of Carlisle's sleeping pills.

Bella was still in her seat, still looking out the window, still ignoring me as she had done for the last three hours. She didn't look in my direction; she didn't even seem to realize that the entire bus was empty, except for us. In spite of myself, I started to feel pissed off again. I wasn't usually an angry person, just mildly irritable at times. This felt strange.

"Aren't you getting off the bus?" I asked, before I could stop myself. But she was rocking gently to the music in her ears, and I knew she couldn't hear me. I sat in silence, relishing my good fortune. I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't want to understand this bizarre, maddening creature that had disrupted my peaceful, contented disregard for every young female in Forks. But then I found myself touching her. Brushing my fingers against her arm, coaxing her to face me.

She jumped at my touch, and I withdrew my fingers like I'd touched a simmering stove. _Fucking stupid_, I thought, instantly regretting it. It was like I had completely lost control over my physical will.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, but she was facing me now.

"It's okay," she said. "I just…didn't expect that."

"Expect what?"

"Never mind," she said, after a brief pause. I saw the faintest touch of pink rise in her face, but it disappeared almost instantly. "Did you ask me something?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted something from the store," I offered, generating bullshit as I went.

"Well, if I did, I think I'd be in there right now. Don't you?" she said, her tone an odd mix of defiance and sweetness. I sure as fuck hadn't expected that. Was she getting sassy with me?

"I was just trying to be nice," I said, as casually as I could manage.

"Right," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"What was that?" I said. She was pushing me. She was seriously, dangerously pushing me.

"I know I'm the new attraction here," she said, shifting her legs away from the window and into the aisle. Without that hideously bulky coat on, I could appreciate the perfect proportions of her curvy little hips and long, slender legs. I wanted to see her ass in those tight jeans, which were hugging her thighs in all the right places…fuck me, I was fantasizing like a preteen who had just discovered porn. I couldn't believe I had let it go this far.

"But I'm nothing special," she continued. "You don't have to resent me for it."

"Resent you?" I asked, my voice rising with anger and rapidly increasing desire. I stared into her eyes, deep and rich as dark chocolate. I expected her to back off, to read my mood and my eyes and find a reason to leave me alone. A large part of me—the sensible part—wanted her to leave me alone. Only a small part wanted something else entirely.

"I'm sure you were all waiting for something incredible to waltz its way into Forks and turn everyone's lives upside down. Well, I'm just the clutz from Arizona whose dad happens to be the police chief. I'm not important, and I'm not special. And I know your friend thinks I have horrible taste in music," she said, her words rushing out in a torrent of flat emotion, leaving me breathless, annoyed, dismayed. And, as Jasper would say, hot and bothered.

"Do you always make assumptions about people?" I asked. My voice was edgy and demanding, and she was fueling the fire.

"No," she said. "But I know your type."

"Which is…?" I pressed, and she leaned impossibly closer, her legs dangling in the aisle, her hands wrapped around the armrest. I could smell her hair as it danced across her shoulders, like a meadow and summer and fresh strawberries. It assaulted my senses and clouded my judgment.

"You're the doctor's son. Wealthy, spoiled, bored with life. You're tired of Forks and you know you can do better. And you will, I'm sure. You're probably at the top of the class."

"What are you, a psychoanalyst?" I chided. Two could play this game, but she was winning.

"No," she said. "I just want to be left alone, okay? I don't need any favors."

"I wasn't offering you any," I snapped, reeling from the scent of her hair and the sight of her perfect face so close to mine. I wanted to pull away, I tried to pull away, but I just stayed there, hovering over the aisle, daring her to practice what she preached. Neither of us moved. All I could hear was the gentle rhythm of her breathing and the steady thunder of her heart. I could hear them both quickening.

Suddenly the cacophony of Jessica Stanley's voice broke our trance as she bounded back onto the bus, chomping on French fries and slurping a soda the size of Washington state. I could hear her gums smacking from the back of the fucking bus.

Bella quickly sat up and resumed her position by the window. I did the same, realizing how close I had come to flirting for the first time since, well, ever. The skanks in my class didn't respond well to flirting; they skipped right to the groping. Not that I hadn't groped a girl before; I mean, shit, I wasn't a prude. I was just bored and liked a challenge as much as anyone else.

The thick smell of greasy food flooded the bus, and then Jasper appeared, clutching three sodas, two burgers, and two overflowing orders of fries.

"I got some for you," he announced.

"Looks delightful," I said, but I wasn't going to argue. The combination of fast food and a port-o-potty didn't do wonders for my appetite, but what the hell. I was hungry and irritable and tired of sitting on this goddamn bus.

Jasper handed me some delectable delights and then tapped Bella on the shoulder, flashing me a devilish grin as he did so.

"Hey," he said, as she turned around and looked up at him with her deliciously deep brown eyes. She was utterly unreadable. It infuriated me.

"I got you a soda. Or, Edward did. He paid for it."

"Oh," she said, considering the gesture. I glared at Jasper, then at her, knowing I was being rude and unreasonable but not giving a flying fuck about it.

"Well, thanks," she mumbled.

"No problem. Don't worry, I'm not going to bug you about your music again. But you should talk to Edward about D'Angelo. He' s a huge fan."

Jesus, Jasper. Are you some kind of fucking matchmaker? No, he was just playing games with me. He was watching me squirm, something I never did, and he was taking full advantage of it.

"Cool," she said, and she glanced at me coldly before taking the soda and turning back around. Well then, I guess I had pissed her off. Good.

Jasper was shaking his head, laughing to himself as he devoured the contents of the grease-soaked bag. It smelled godawful but he seemed to love it.

"What?" I asked, reading the amusement on his face.

"She's getting to you. It's very entertaining."

"You know what's entertaining? Watching you inhale that piece of shit like it's your last meal."

"Don't change the subject, man. I'm on to you."

"Just because your plan with Alice is a total failure doesn't mean you have to implicate me in a new one."

"It's all _part_ of the plan."

"Yeah, this is a stellar plan. It's working out so well for you. You're getting almost as much action as my grandmother."

"This plan can't be rushed. This plan is fucking genius."

"Okay," I sighed, lowering my voice so only he could hear me. "Can you just leave me and the new girl out of it? She's kind of a bitch and I don't plan on talking to her again."

"Sure," he said, but his lips twitched with a mischievous smirk.

I sighed and closed my eyes again, drifting off to the sound of the engine as the bus rumbled to life.

***

An hour later we were finally abandoning this heap of scrap metal, and no one looked happier about that than the bus driver, who immediately whipped out a pack of Marlboros. I ignored Bella, who had disappeared into the crowd somewhere, probably listening to her bedroom music off in the woods somewhere. I knew Alice would round up everyone eventually. I looked for her, but instead saw Emmett lumbering in our direction. Oddly, Rosalie was nowhere in sight.

"I'm not so sure about this," he said when he reached us. His eyes darted around the crowd, ensuring that Rosalie was out of earshot.

"Sure about what?" Jasper asked, and I suppressed the urge to laugh.

"That shitty boat over there! Look at that thing! I bet it sank last week and they just patched it up for us."

"Boat's aren't like cars, man. Once they sink, that's it," Jasper calmly explained. But I could see his serious façade cracking.

"Well, Jeezus, how deep is the water here? It looks cold, too."

"Yeah, it's actually glacial water. Like, thousands of feet deep and fucking freezing," Jasper said with mock concern. I knew that the water was considerably shallower than that, and the temperature hovered in the low 70s this time of year. Emmett's face twisted in horror just as Rosalie appeared at his side.

"How's it going, hon?" she asked, but her face did the same scary contortion at the sight of him.

"Oh my God! What's wrong?" she exclaimed, rubbing his arm comfortingly.

"Nothing," he grumbled.

Jasper and I were both laughing, but Rosalie hardly seemed to notice. Emmett's face was red with anger and embarrassment.

"Guys!" Alice cried out, sneaking up behind us. "Get on the boat!"

"We're going," I said, draping my arm around her. "No need to get all hussy about it."

"I'm not a hussy," she huffed. But she was smiling warmly, always content around her friends. I knew how hard Alice had worked on this; she loved planning things, always had. I wanted her to plan my funeral when the time came. A wedding wasn't in the cards at this point.

She gently pushed me in the direction of the rusty boat, and we walked over to it with the sixty other goons that had brought far too much luggage for a weekend trip. I still didn't see Bella, and a distant corner of my subconscious worried for a second that she had gotten lost or tripped over a tree stump. But I thought of Alice again, sure she wouldn't forget anyone.

It was a short ride across the bay to the island, and the sun was bright and hot on my face. I had been to Vancouver a few times, but the last time had been years ago. Carlisle had taken me as a kid, determined to show me some "Canadian scenery," like it was a big deal. I was just happy to be there with him. Carlisle was a good man, a good father, but he was the reason I was stuck in Forks, and as I got older, I resented him for that.

I stood by the railing and let the sun warm my face. As the ferry plodded along the glassy surface, I leaned over the edge to get a better look.

"Holy fuck, Edward! Don't be stupid!" Emmett yelled, clutching Rosalie's hand tighter so that she yelped in pain.

Jasper and I started laughing again, but Emmett still had one hand gripping the rail, the other crushing the bones in Rosalie's hand. For their sake, I kind of hoped we were almost there. He looked seasick, panicked, and totally defeated. She had tears in her eyes from the pain.

"So," Alice said, coming around to us. "I am giving people their room assignments."

"Oh, goodie," Jasper joked. "I hope you didn't stick me with this load," he said, pointing at me. "There's no way in hell I'm sharing a bed with him."

"Likewise," I said.

"Okay, can we calm down here? There's a floor big enough for one of you to sleep on," Alice chirped. "Emmett, I put you with Ben, and—"

"Ben? Screw that, Alice, I'm not sleeping with that tool."

"Okay, can you let me finish?" she said in a huff. "Rosalie, I put you with Angela."

Angela and Ben were an item, so I saw where Alice was going with this. The realization dawned on their faces a moment later, and I knew all was forgiven.

"Nice work, Alice," Emmett said, although his face was still contorted in fear from the way the boat clunked over the waves.

"Mmhm," she said, satisfied with herself. "And I'm sorry, Jasper, but I put you with Edward. It was either him or Mike Newton."

"That's kind of a tough call, actually," he said.

"Really?" she asked, a bit horrified that she had disappointed Jasper.

"I'm kidding, Alice. It's fine."

"Okay, great. I need to find Jessica and Lauren…"

"Wait, Alice," I said as she turned away. "Who are you rooming with?"

"The new girl."

"Bella?" I asked, my voice more incredulous than it should have been.

"Yes! Do you know her?" Alice asked excitedly.

"Not really," I grumbled.

"Oh, they know each other," Jasper interjected. "They both love R&B and Diet Coke."

"Hmm," Alice mused, looking at me carefully. "Well, that's nice. I'll be sure to include her in our activities."

I groaned under my breath, which Alice probably heard but chose to ignore. She glided over to another group of girls, her list in hand, giving them the good (or bad) news. I anticipated a frenzy of room switches, but so had she, apparently. Jasper pulled me aside as I stared out to sea, zoning out completely.

"Edward," he said, like it was some kind of covert mission. "The plan is in motion."

I groaned. "You don't have a plan, Jasper. You made it up."

"No, seriously. You need to switch rooms with me."

I cleared my throat. "Uh, what?"

"Look, you're not going to go from zero to fucking in one day, Jazz. Even under the best of circumstances. Alice doesn't operate like that."

"I know how Alice operates, okay? You need to do this for me."

"Do what? I'll happily take a room to myself. Saves me the nightmare of you groping me in the night."

"I'm not looking for a threesome here. You need to take Bella off Alice's hands when the time comes."

I laughed, but he didn't look amused. He looked dead serious. Like he had been planning this for some time. Shit, there actually was a plan.

"Look, I tried to make it less awkward for you two. Tried to stir up a little convo on the bus, but you weren't too into it. That's okay, though. I think we made progress."

"Jasper, I am not sharing a room with the new girl. That's awkward as fuck and I don't even like her."

"No, you do like her. That's why it's awkward as fuck. But I don't care, because you're going to do this for me, even if you have to sleep in a ditch."

I groaned loudly, making sure he heard it. I was irritated, but not angry. Not like I'd been on the bus. It was true that I was sick and tired of Jasper and Alice's bizarre foreplay that had lasted for years, and I wanted both of them to just seal the deal and be done with it. But I didn't want to be anywhere near the new girl. She was trouble and I didn't need that shit.

"Okay, here's the thing," I started. "If you…consummate your plan, or whatever, then I'll let Bella have my room. I'll just figure something else out."

"She needs to know about it, though."

"Just…let me worry about that," I sighed.

"I knew you would see the light," he grinned.

"Just remember that I'm sleeping in a ditch for you. You owe me one."

"We'll see about that," he smirked.

---

**Tension always leads to...combustion? It does in my dirty world. **

**Thanks for reading!  
**


	4. Chapter 4: August 13, 2009 cont

**A/N**: I always change my mind, so...I'm just uploading the rest of what I've written. I guess this removes some suspense, but it covers the first weekend (2009). On to 2010 with the next update!

For the record, I did sleep in a ditch (no sleeping bag, no blanket, just some leaves) on a class camping trip...long story. This is for you, Anonymous Med School Classmate, and your raging sleep apnea.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight, or anything else. I'm like $200,000 in debt at the moment.

**August 13, 2009 (continued)**

**EPOV**

Twenty minutes later we were filing off the boat, and there it was, our final destination. The inn was hidden by trees, situated on the top of the hill on this little island in the bay. We walked along the dock and trudged up the dirt path, following Alice and the three teachers that had accompanied us on this little excursion. Apparently everyone jumped at the chance to escape Forks for a weekend; according to Alice, a few teachers had gotten into a cat fight about getting a spot on that bus.

I watched Emmett relax slightly as he leaned into Rosalie, and I heard him sigh with relief when he finally made it to solid ground. Jasper and I looked at each other, stifling laughter. We were going to give him some serious shit for it later, but that could wait. Emmett was looking irritated and Rose was rubbing her hands, probably feeling for broken bones. We sat around a picnic table while someone went to fetch our keys or cards or whatever inns used these days. I hadn't been on a vacation in ages.

Soon Alice emerged with the keys, dutifully handing them out as I lounged on the tree stump and absorbed the chaos of it all. Mr. Banner hovered over her, determined to enforce the ridiculous same-sex rooming rule. What a wasted effort. I saw the devious faces of my classmates, who took the keys and almost snickered as they dispersed into the woods. Meanwhile, I didn't give a shit what room I had or where it was; Jasper had already sealed my fate. I started scouring the land for a thicket or particularly dry pile of leaves.

"I got it," Jasper said, dangling the key in my face.

"Congrats," I responded dryly.

"Come on, let's scope it out. I heard Alice gave us a sweet room."

"Well, at least someone will benefit."

"Oh come on, man. This is a good deal for you. You should hit that."

"Hit what?"

"Bella," he said, with that conniving glint in his eye. "She wants you."

"Not interested," I replied, hoping I sounded completely convincing. But Jasper knew me pretty fucking well, and I honestly didn't know what he was thinking. I hadn't seen Bella since the bus, and I almost admired her ability to avoid me. Clearly we shared a similar strategy.

"Let's go," he prodded, kicking me in the shin. "We don't want someone stealing our private cabin."

"Private cabin? Well, you didn't tell me that. I'm so excited for our honeymoon, Jazz."

"It is the honeymoon suite, actually," he said.

"Don't get any ideas. I'm not your backup plan."

"You know you secretly want me," he joked. "It must be my hair. Not even you can resist."

"Actually, it's your pecs. I have wet dreams about your chiseled chest," I said, playing along. "I can't wait to see you bare all for me tonight."

"Oh, hey guys," a sweet, feminine voice broke our exchange. "I didn't mean to interrupt…"

I turned around to see Bella standing a few feet from us, holding a map and a room key. I caught the amusement in her voice, but it was so subtle that I couldn't be sure it was there. I cleared my throat and ran my hand nervously through my hair. I hated being caught off guard. Especially when the topic was honeymooning.

"Oh, you weren't interrupting, Bella," Jasper said cheerily. "Edward and I were just…uh…"

She suppressed a smile as Jasper looked for a way to recover from our conversation about sex hair and chest muscles. He failed miserably.

"Actually, I was just looking for Alice Brandon," she said. "I think I'm rooming with her." She was looking at Jasper, making a concerted effort to avoid me. I reciprocated by sitting in silence, glancing at her occasionally because I felt like I had to. But every time I looked, my eyes lingered a little bit longer on her intoxicating brown eyes and her lovely face. Her voice was soft, feminine, and uniquely articulate. Bella Swan was an intelligent girl, not just a pretty face. And that made her impossibly more appealing.

"I think she's just finishing up some things inside," Jasper explained. "I'm sure she'll be out in a minute."

I realized we were the only three people who hadn't sprinted off to our rooms, and frankly, I had no idea what the fucking rush was. Maybe everyone was just horny as hell. I wasn't going to spend my day locked up in some goddamn cabin. I'd find some way to entertain myself. And I would avoid this girl in the process.

"I think I'll just go inside then," she said, smiling politely at Jasper. "Thanks."

"Hey," he said as she turned away. "You should hang out with us tonight. We're taking over the sauna by the dock."

She flinched a bit, but said nothing. Was it nervousness? Insecurity? Once again, her beautiful face was completely unreadable. She glanced at me, and our eyes met for a split second. The intensity of her gaze startled me.

"I'll keep that in mind," she said finally. What the hell did that mean? Did she have other plans? I wondered if Mike Newton had gotten his claws on her yet. I hated that guy.

Bella smiled at Jasper and headed up the path, placing her feet carefully with each step. She had called herself a clutz in our one brief, utterly unsatisfying conversation, and I was beginning to see the truth in that statement as she stumbled twice on her way to the inn. But it wasn't a fault, really. She tripped gracefully, like a child walking through snow. Jasper caught me staring, and I rolled my eyes. He had a big, knowing smirk on his face.

"Let's go," I said, ignoring his taunting expression. "I want to see this honeymoon suite."

***

We found our cabin deep in the woods, set back from the others just a few yards from the water's edge. I threw my bag on the floor and headed straight for the bed, which was big and blue and unexpectedly comfortable.

"I want to enjoy this bed while it lasts," I said to Jasper as he inspected the room.

"I need a beer," he grumbled.

"I'm sure Emmett has a huge stash in his room." I sprawled out on my stomach, smothering my face in a pillow.

"He's saving that for tonight. I don't want to get started too early," he explained.

"Then go jerk off or something," I retorted.

"I'm going to find Alice and her roommate. You're kind of an asshole when you're sexually frustrated," he remarked.

"I'm not the one who's—"

"Whatever you say, man," he said, interrupting me. Shit, I _was_ an asshole. I felt bad about it, but Jasper had pushed all my buttons today, and I needed time to recharge.

"Alice told me to tell you to be at the sauna at 8."

"Yeah, okay," I grumbled.

"Call me if you get attacked by a mountain lion or some shit."

"I won't."

"I know. You're too manly for that," he smirked. "See ya."

I heard the door close heavily behind him, granting me my three hours of peace.

***

When I woke up, the room had an orangey, twilightish glow. I could hear the sounds of voices in the distance, various classmates celebrating their weekend of freedom. I rolled out of bed and decided I desperately needed a shower after that horrific bus ride. I navigated the two rooms and found a tiny toilet and sink, but no shower. What the fuck kind of place didn't have showers? I thought briefly about taking a dip in the bay, but I didn't want to be "that guy." The guy that puts on his neon-colored swim trunks and jumps off the dock like a six-year-old on his first vacation. That guy was Mike Newton, not me.

Well, whatever. People would have to endure my stench of greasy food, toilet fumes, and salt water. I splashed some water on my face and tried to wake myself up, although I wasn't too thrilled with the whole sauna idea. I had never been in one, but I associated them with old, naked men and their drooping man boobs. Fortunately, I didn't think anyone here had man boobs. I guess I'd find out.

I put on a pair of cargo shorts and a black T-shirt, deciding then and there that this would be the extent of my disrobing. I didn't want to give Jessica and Lauren any ideas. If they salivated over me in a parka, I didn't even want to think about what would happen if I took my shirt off.

I took off into the woods in the general direction of the dock. When I got there, I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was a small crowd, just my usual contingent and a few others. They were sitting around a small fire, Emmett attempting to roast his already black marshmallow while Rosalie admired his prowess. Alice was sitting next to Jasper, giggling and whispering in his ear. Maybe I had seriously underestimated The Plan.

"Hey, Edward!" Alice called when she saw me. I walked a little faster, but as the entire campsite came into view, I froze. Bella was sitting a few feet from Alice, listening to a very animated story from Angela and Eric. His hands were flying all over the place, and she looked like she was afraid of getting it. I quickly lost track of Eric's hands, though; I couldn't tear my eyes from Bella's shy, genuine smile, and the thin sheen of sweat on her face from the heat of the fire. When she laughed, her smile spread to her eyes. I realized I hadn't seen her happy before. In my presence, she had been nervous and pissed off.

When she turned her attention from Eric's epic gestures and met my eyes, I realized I was staring and quickly looked away. I couldn't turn back now, unfortunately. I would just have to endure this little campsite bonding and hope that everyone passed out early or got lost in the woods. Emmett looked like he was well on his way to that point.

"Have a beer, man," Jasper said, handing me a can of Milwaukee's Best. Or Beast, as we lovingly called it.

"What did you do, drug the chaperones?" I sneered.

"We're in Canada. No one gives a shit."

"Right," I mused, popping it open and feeling the nastiness cool my throat.

"We're about to hop in," Jasper said, inhaling a s'more and then choking on it.

"The bay?" I asked. "I feel like that's a bad idea." I looked at Emmett, who was surrounded by empty beer cans.

"No," he managed to say between coughs. "The sauna. It's like 200 degrees in there."

He gestured to a tiny wooden hut about fifty feet from the campsite. Ben was over there, throwing wood into an oven, his face dripping with sweat. He was looking uncharacteristically manly, and I caught Angela ogling at her man.

"The hot tub is out of commission at the moment, but I heard the sauna is a fine substitute," Jasper continued.

"200 degrees?" I asked. That seemed hot as hell.

"Yeah, man. Prepare to get naked," he said with a smirk.

It was a warm night, and almost everyone was already down to their bikini tops and swim trunks. Eric was still fully clothed, but then again, he and Alice weighed about the same. He probably wasn't too thrilled about anyone seeing his bony, pasty chest. I sure as hell wasn't.

"It's ready!" Ben called, waving us over. I wondered if that little hut would fit all ten of us. Or maybe that was the point. I stole a glance at Bella, who was still nodding at the appropriate points in Eric's story, but she seemed a little tenser now. She was the only girl still in a t-shirt and shorts, and it hung loosely over her shoulders. I wondered if she would succumb to the peer pressure and remove various articles of clothing. Probably not, I decided. She looked uncomfortable enough as it was.

I followed the crowd to the sauna, lingering behind as Alice explained the concept. It was hot, she said. Really hot. Clothing would be uncomfortable. She smiled, a wide, happy smile that made her whole face light up. Her happy moods were infectious, although she probably didn't realize it. Alice was just a good person to be around.

Her speech had the desired effect, and everyone stripped down to the bare essentials, meaning bikinis and shorts. I didn't want to seem like a fucking prude, so I slipped my shirt over my head and tossed it into a bush. Plus all the girls here were paired up, so I didn't have to worry about anyone jumping my bones. I was sure Bella had a boyfriend holed up in Arizona somewhere; she projected a hands-off vibe unlike one I'd ever experienced before. Even now, I watched as she fidgeted nervously, standing back as everyone ripped their clothes off and stepped into the heat.

"Holy Jesus, it's hot in here!" I heard Emmett yell. I could hear the girls laughing inside.

Soon, it was just me and Bella standing outside the door, and I found myself in familiar, unpleasant territory. Her pleasant smile and warm eyes were gone now; she kind of glared at me, her arms crossed across her chest. She kept fidgeting.

"Aren't you going in?" she said, breaking the silence that felt more intense than awkward. She was glaring at me and I was studying her, trying to figure out why we shared this mutual animosity. Even more frustratingly, it was mixed with this odd, compelling attraction that I couldn't shake, and the closer we were, the more intense it was. I wondered if she felt anything at all for me, other than this methodical dislike. Her words sounded so calculated, as though she had already scripted our conversations. I felt powerless, and it pissed me off.

"Aren't you?" I shot back.

"I'm not the one with my shirt off," she retorted. Well, at least she had noticed that.

"Fair enough," I said, and I started approaching her. She was blocking the door to the sauna, so I didn't have a choice. When I got closer, though, I noticed some of the cracks in her rock-solid veneer. She was breathing quickly, nervously. Her heart was beating so fast that I could hear it _thundering_ in her chest. And when I squeezed by her, my hand brushing hers as I went to open the door, I heard her breath actually hitch in her throat. If this had been any other girl, I would have just gone for it right here on the steps of this fucking bench. She was showing all the signs. She was definitely attracted to me; hell, she seemed outright aroused.

Admittedly, I was, too. I mean, fuck, I'd been aroused since the moment she stumbled on those bus steps, and it had taken some careful maneuvering to keep Jasper from noticing. The heat from the sauna was seeping out of the door, and beads of sweat were forming on her forehead. Her dark brown hair was damp, and the bouncy curls from the bus ride were now lying flat on her white T-shirt, like she'd been caught in the rain. It was hot as hell.

But I didn't want to give Bella the satisfaction of knowing all this. And she was still glaring at me, still speaking to me in a voice that was laced with animosity. And she was still so fucking unreadable, even though her body was giving her away. Her cheeks flushed a delicate pink, and I wondered if she knew that I was on to her. It didn't matter, though. This girl had already caused me enough trouble, and I needed to get away from her. I had my friends, my life, my future. I didn't need this kind of distraction. It would pass, anyway.

"Wait," she said, grabbing my arm as I turned the knob. And then she hurriedly removed her shirt to reveal a cute, skimpy bikini top. She smiled shyly, the blush spreading all the way down to her collarbone. Holy fuck, this wasn't going to pass. I think I actually moaned a little bit when she did that. I suddenly pictured her removing that shirt under different circumstances, and I knew then that if I said something, my voice would come out sounding much huskier than I preferred.

So I just looked back at her, my emerald eyes boring into hers, which were burning now with a very compelling mixture of hostility and desire. It was like she was warring internally with her emotions, her mind convincing her to hate me, her body telling her to give in. At least, that's what mine was doing. And the sauna was going to make the battle more one-sided, unfortunately.

I finally tore my eyes away and walked into the heat, which blasted my face and took my breath away. Everyone was lounging on the old wooden benches, their bodies completely drenched with sweat, their breathing heavy and deep.

"We've got a competition going, Edward," Jasper said. "Seeing who can last the longest in here."

I looked at the thermostat: 212 degrees. Definitely toasty.

Bella was behind me, and she walked around me to get to a spot on the bench. She lay down like the others and closed her eyes. I didn't want Jasper to see me checking out her incredible ass and perfect tits, so I kept myself focused on him instead.

"Emmett looks like he's losing," I said, glancing over at him as he draped himself in wet towels. Three seconds later, he got up and practically ran out the door. Rosalie sighed in frustration and followed him out.

"You have a two-minute advantage," Jasper continued. "But I'll still beat you."

"Come on, man. I beat you in everything," I joked.

"That's not true. I once beat off four times in one—"

"Not helping your case here, Jazz," I said, trying to be discreet. Fortunately, Alice didn't seem to be listening.

"Oh," he said. "Right. Well, in any case, I'm going to kick your ass in sauna-ing."

I rolled my eyes and sat down on the front bench, letting the thick air roll over me in waves. It was fucking intense. The heat made it impossible to breathe through my nose; for some reason it burned like hell when I did that. So I was breathing kind of hard through my mouth, surveying the room as people got up to leave when it became too much. But Bella was still lying on her bench, her eyes closed, a wet towel on her forehead. Aside from the sweat that covered her entire body, she looked like she could be anywhere. Maybe growing up in Arizona had gotten her used to this kind of thing.

"Goddammit," Jasper sighed. "My balls feel like they're going to burn up. I need to get out of here."

"Pussy," I said. I grinned at him.

"Shut up. It wasn't even. Rematch later," he gasped, and then followed Alice out the door. It was just me and Bella again, and she was lying still, her eyes closed and her breathing slow and rhythmic.

Wasn't this shit bad for your heart? She looked too relaxed. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"Mmhm," she murmured. "This is nice."

"Well, I've had enough," I said casually, standing up.

"Pussy," she said, so softly that I almost didn't hear it.

"What was that?" I asked, although I'd heard her perfectly.

She opened her eyes and looked at me. I could have sworn I saw her smiling, but it was masked by the hostility in her eyes. She was seriously getting under my skin, driving me crazy with so many different emotions that I couldn't tell what the hell I was feeling anymore. Fuck Jasper's plan—I was calling that shit off. I had a new plan, and it was to avoid Bella Swan for the rest of the weekend.

----

**Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5: August 14, 2009 cont

**A/N**: Another autobiographical note...I did the lakeside sauna thing last summer, and it was amazing. Definitely recommend it - especially with some beer.

**Disclaimer: **Not my characters, unfortunately.

**August 14, 2009 (continued)**

**EPOV**

At midnight, or sometime around then, everyone was buzzed and tired and decided that it was time to call it a night. Emmett was shot-gunning a beer, while Rosalie was trying to comfort him about hot saunas and scary boat rides. Jasper was actually holding Alice's hand (clearly I had underestimated him and his Plan), and she smiled serenely at me. I smiled back, although my head was hazy with beer and heat and the crazy emotional shit that had gone down earlier.

"I'm going to bed," I announced, to no one in particular. Jasper's head shot up, and he shuffled over to me.

"Did you talk to Bella?" he asked in a hushed voice.

"About what?"

"Edward! You can't leave me hanging like this. Make it look like you're going to hook up with her."

"Uh, what? I thought you and Alice were going to get busy and sexile Bella."

He took a deep breath and lowered his voice. "Actually, no. Um…how do I say this? I don't want to push things too fast with Alice, you know? It has to look like I'm the one being sexiled."

"Maybe you should have mentioned that earlier to make your story sound more convincing," I snapped. "I haven't talked to Bella all night."

"Alice is buying it, though."

"Buying what?"

"That you're into her and you want to take her back to your room for some sexy time."

"Alice isn't dense, Jasper."

"No, but for some reason she seems to think that's how it should go. I don't know, okay? Alice has weird intuition or whatever."

"Intuition about what?"

"About you and Bella. Look, I don't know what she's getting at, but it fits perfectly with my plan and you need to hit that!" he said, frustration rising in his voice. Jasper wasn't often frustrated, and it kind of unsettled me. I almost felt sorry for him. Well, fuck. I didn't really have a choice.

"Bros before hoes, man. Come on," he pleaded.

"Ughhhh," I said with a groan. "Look, here's my key. Just give it to Bella and tell her she can have my room for the night."

"She doesn't know where it is."

"She has a map."

"She might get lost. Alice wouldn't tolerate that. Plus, she falls a lot and will probably kill herself on a root or something." Apparently Jasper had also picked up on Bella's close relationship with the ground.

"Fine," I huffed. "You owe me in a big way, Jazz. I'm going to take a picture of myself sleeping in a thicket and tattoo it on your ass so you never forget it."

"Thanks, man. Really."

"Just…make sure you treat Alice right. She deserves that."

"I know," he said, grinning happily. "I love you, man."

"Go away," I said, shoving him jokingly. I watched as he and Alice disappeared hand-in-hand into the woods, her breathless laughter carrying over the trees. I was happy for them, but pissed about the situation. And my plan. My plan, in effect for four hours, was already about to tank.

I didn't even see Bella around the deserted campsite, and I didn't feel like looking for her. Should I yell? No, that would probably cause someone to panic. And then I'd feel like a tool when Mr. Banner showed up with a park ranger or some shit. So I walked around a bit, feeling my head clear as the air cooled and the ocean breeze picked up.

Finally I spotted her, sitting at the very end of the dock, her feet dangling in the water. She looked so vulnerable sitting there alone, the moonlight dancing on the glassy surface. It was a crystal clear night, and even though it was pitch black, the moon was bright enough to illuminate her slender form. The natural beauty of the scene—of her—startled me.

She turned when I stepped on the dock, its boards vibrating as I walked to the end. Bella was staring at something far out to sea, something I couldn't see. Or maybe she was looking at nothing at all. In any case, she looked so peaceful and content that I hated to disturb her.

Shit, I was turning into such a sap. I just had to remember the plan. Yes, I would have to breach the plan temporarily, but just to show her where the cabin was. Then I could venture off into the woods like the mountain man I was. Maybe sleep in a wolf's den or something.

I reached the end of the dock and stood there for a few seconds, waiting for her to turn around. But she kept her back to me, and said nothing. I cleared my throat.

"Hey," I said, friendlier than I had intended. Finally she turned her head around to look at me.

"Hey," she replied. Her face was blank, expressionless.

"So…Jasper and Alice—"

"I know," she said. "I know all about it." But her voice wasn't resentful or angry, just matter-of-fact. I wondered what Alice had told her.

"Yeah, well, I just wanted to show you where the room is."

"Thanks, but I'm perfectly happy sleeping out here tonight," she replied in the same flat tone.

Uh oh. Was she going to fight me on this? I would not be known as the guy that let the new girl sleep outside. Jasper and Alice—especially Alice—would kill me if I let that happen. I had to think of something, fast.

"Uh, that's a bad idea," I said. "Animal attacks are pretty common out here." Animal attacks? Like what, a raccoon? Nice one, fucktard.

"I think I can handle a few squirrels," she said, looking me square in the face. Damn, she called me out on that one.

"The Pacific Northwest is known for its unusually high incidence of active serial killers," I continued, grasping at straws.

"Yes, I've read about that," she said. "But last I checked, tiny islands aren't especially popular among serial killers who want to murder people and get away with it."

"You never know," I replied quickly. "Plus, it's supposed to rain tonight." I made that up, but she didn't know that.

"You made that up," she said. Shit. This girl had an answer for everything.

"Look, if you want to do something stupid like sleep outside, then fine. Or if I'm so repulsive that you'd rather sleep on a slab of wood than share a room with me, then that's also fine. Suit yourself," I said, trying to sound nonchalant. It came out sounding kind of agitated.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," she replied, her voice sarcastic and bitter.

"Forget it." I didn't need this shit. I started to turn around when I heard her sigh, long and deep and kind of pitiful.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "It's just been a long day for me."

"I see," I said, my voice clipped and probably a bit too rude.

"Do you know what it's like trying to live up to totally unrealistic expectations from a group of strangers? It's impossible," she said, looking down at the water. "I hate this. I hate that I had to move here, and I hate that I'm here on this stupid trip."

I wasn't expecting this. I wasn't sure if I should sit down, or talk to her, or just leave her alone with her thoughts. So I just waited.

"And you," she said. "You clearly hate me. Your friends are nice, but I don't know what your problem is."

"I'm not the one with the problem," I retorted, but I kind of regretted it when I saw her face contort in anger.

She stood up and turned to face me, her mouth set in a frown and her eyes scorching with intensity. Maybe she was waiting for me to say something, but I was instituting a new plan: the shut up and calm down plan.

"Let's go," she said. "I'm cold."

She brushed by me and stalked off the dock, and I really had no choice but to follow her. I watched as she tripped on the last step, landing on her knees on the soft grass. I reached down to help her up, but she shook me off. She looked furious now. This couldn't be good.

She didn't know where to go, so I led her through the woods, keeping a nice, safe distance between us. She still looked pissed as hell, and I wondered if she had been bottling this up all day. I realized I couldn't really blame her if that were the case; she had probably been dreading this day for weeks.

We walked through the trees and along the water's edge until the honeymoon suite came into view. It was isolated from all the other cabins—close to the water's edge, a good hundred yards from the main path. A warm light illuminated the front porch, and I had no trouble finding the lock and opening the door. I walked into a cool, dark room that was heavy with the salt air. I flipped on what I thought was the main light, but apparently there was no main light. Only a little string of white lights came on, which was clearly an attempt at mood lighting. The honeymoon suite had its special features, apparently.

Bella had noticed, too, because her cheeks were blushing in spite of her angry mood. She put her bag on the floor and sat on the chair in the entryway.

"Okay, well. Good night," I said, and started to head back out the door.

"And where are you going?" she asked, looking at me strangely.

"I'm going to sleep outside."

She laughed, but it was artificial, shallow. "You're such a hypocrite," she said.

"Well, I'm not sleeping in here with you."

"Am I that repulsive?" she asked, throwing my words back at me.

I sighed, deciding to was time to admit defeat.

"No, you're not repulsive, Bella," I said, meeting her gaze. "I'll just take the floor and you can have the bed. Okay?"

Her expression softened, and the anger seemed to drain from her face. She looked at me, saying nothing, and picked up her bag and walked into the bedroom. I tossed the cushions from the chair onto the floor and settled onto them, grumbling in pain as my shoulder hit the bed frame. I was determined to lie down before she could argue with me.

I heard the mattress creak as she climbed up onto the bed. I closed my eyes, willing this night to end, just as I had earlier today.

"Hey, Edward?" she said suddenly, breaking the stillness of the room. I cringed, bracing myself for another argument.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for the bed."

"You're welcome," I muttered, and then I turned over and went to sleep.

***

I didn't sleep long. I started hearing voices in my sleep, which meant something was seriously wrong, because I never dreamed. I forgot where I was, and when I opened my eyes and saw the bed frame in my face, I started to panic. Did I roll off the fucking bed? Was I injured? Wait a minute, where the fuck was I? I saw all these twinkly little lights hanging on the walls, and I thought I had a breakthrough. I was dreaming! I was having a nightmare!

But the strangely beautiful, feminine voice convinced me I wasn't having a nightmare, and I wasn't dreaming, either. It was Bella's voice, coming from the bed, and it was small and feminine and breathless, like a sleeping voice should be. Suddenly I heard my name, and I sat up, wondering if she was awake.

he wasn't awake, though; she was sleeping soundly, on her side, speaking incoherent sentences and uttering my name every few minutes. Every time she did, my heart skipped. The sound of my name coming from her lips made me feel like I was trespassing on her private thoughts. I wanted to wake her up and make her tell me what it was like to dream, what images she had in her head and what the hell I was doing there. Her voice and her breathing changed every few minutes, as if her dreams were taking her through a spectrum of emotions. I was embarrassed and fascinated all at once, and I just listened to her; it was the closest I had ever come to dreaming.

After a little while, she grew silent again, and her quiet, steady breathing returned. I shifted my weight to relieve the searing pain in my shoulders from lying on the floor, and I turned to face the blank wall. I willed myself to sleep again, but it was harder now, with Bella's voice clouding my thoughts. I considered giving her shit about it tomorrow, but she probably had no idea she was doing it. If she did, she would avoid sleeping in my company at all costs in the future. And as much as I fucking hated to admit it, I didn't want that. I would miss her voice.

----

**Review if you feel like it. Thanks!**


	6. Chapter 6: August 14, 2009 cont

**A/N: **I find Bella harder to write, which is odd since I'm not a guy. But all my friends are guys. So...I'm used to their dialogue.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight. I was an extra in a movie once, though.

**August 14, 2009 (continued)**

**BPOV**

When I woke up, the sun was high in the sky and the room was bright and warm. Apparently this little inn did not consider clocks a priority, and since I didn't have a watch, I had no idea what time it was. It seemed late, and Edward was gone. The cushions were back on the chair and there was no sign at all that he had even slept there. I wondered for a moment if he had slept outside after all.

Honestly I was relieved he was gone, because I didn't want him seeing me like this. My hair looked like it had met up with an electric socket, and my face was covered in red creases from the comforter. I looked like a maniac in the morning, and I remembered Charlie had recoiled at the sight of me the first time I woke up in his house. File that away under Awkward Parental Moments.

I walked into the bathroom and inspected my pale cheeks and sleepy expression. My hair fell past my shoulders down to my back, weighed down by the salty air. I sighed, cringing at the memory of my first encounter with Edward Cullen. The first time I saw his face, I almost stopped breathing. I did stop breathing, actually. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. His eyes were a deep, emerald green, his jaw line cut like a god's, his smile easy and genuine. And his hair was this tousled mess of bronze, which he touched and rearranged constantly. It struck me as a nervous habit, but I couldn't imagine a single reason for him to be tense or uneasy. He clearly had a few close friends, but he didn't really talk to anyone else. In fact, I had noticed a few people looking my way when he talked to me, like it was some kind of major event. I had every reason to be intimidated by Edward, and I was.

Until he spoke to me on the bus. In a span of a few words, my feelings toward him shifted from awe to irritation to anger. He was untouchable, and I was the cliché. I hated clichés. I wasn't going to be the new girl who lusted after Edward Cullen like her life depended on it. Whatever people expected, I would do the opposite.

I stepped out of my t-shirt and shorts, and used the side door to get to the outdoor shower. I still had on my bathing suit from last night, so I decided not to risk a naked encounter with a classmate I would have to see everyday for the next year. The water was warm and refreshing, and I felt better immediately.

When the water heater gave out after a pathetic three minutes, I headed back inside to change. I got out of my bathing suit and put on a pair of jean shorts and a blue t-shirt that was tighter than most of the clothes I owned. I wondered if I had subconsciously packed it, hoping to attract someone's attention. I cringed at the thought. I had had a few guys chasing me in Phoenix, but I never reciprocated. I wasn't prudish or religious or whatever; I just didn't care. I usually kept to myself and I kind of liked it that way.

I grabbed my Ipod and headed out the front door. I heard voices in the distance, but I wasn't too thrilled with the idea of joining them. There was a smaller dock a few hundred yards down the shoreline, and I decided to head in that direction and just zone out for a while. I doubted anyone would miss me. Even Edward had disappeared in the night.

The brilliant sunshine warmed my face as I exited the woods and reached the end of the dock. I saw a few people several hundred feet down the shore, jumping off another dock into the warm water. It really was warm—surprisingly so, for this part of the country. Or Canada. Whatever. If I weren't so self-conscious, I might have even jumped in. There was no way in hell that was happening here, though.

"Bella!" someone yelled from somewhere behind me. It dawned on me that there was really nowhere to hide on an island this small.

"I found you!" came the voice again, and I turned around to see Alice standing on the dock, her hands on her hips, her breathing coming in quick gasps. Had she been running all over the place to find me? I started to feel guilty.

"Oh, hey, Alice. I'm sorry…was I supposed to be somewhere?"

"No, no. I just wanted to make sure you knew about lunch."

"Oh, I'm okay. I ate this morning," I lied. I wanted to avoid social contact as long as humanly possible, but I had a feeling Alice was going to make that difficult for me. I liked Alice, but I could only handle one person at a time.

"Oh okay, well that's good. I brought you a sandwich just in case," Alice said, and she reached into her backpack and pulled out a bagged lunch. She smiled knowingly, and I realized that I shouldn't have worried about Alice subjecting me to any group activities. She clearly knew how to read people. She had read me easily.

"Thanks," I said, smiling with relief and gratitude. "Um, do you want to sit down?"

"Sure," she said brightly. And with the grace of a ballet dancer, she sat down next to me and sank her toes into the water. She seemed so relaxed, so…unburdened. Like she was here and happy and with her friends, and life was good. I felt my mood brighten.

"Did you have fun last night?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said. "I really enjoyed the sauna." And that part was true.

"Me too," she agreed. "Everyone really enjoyed talking to you," she added. I looked for signs of sarcasm, but her voice was genuine and kind.

I thought of the few hours I had spent with Alice and her friends, which involved a lot of listening and very little talking on my part. Eric had spent a solid 30 minutes telling a story about some kind of robot he built out of plastic silverware, none of which made sense. Angela was quiet but friendly, and she had seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say, which wasn't much. Her boyfriend, whose name I couldn't remember, had spent most of the night talking about firewood and topics related to firewood, forest fires, matches, and combustion, which made me think he might be something of a pyro. Emmett had spent three hours drunkenly ranting about the dangers of boating, while Rosalie tried comforting him at first, then passed out on his shoulder. Jasper and Alice had made every effort to include me in their conversation, but I felt like a bit of a third wheel around them. I didn't know what their status was, and I didn't ask.

And Edward, of course, had ignored me all night. I doubted anyone had noticed or cared, and it really didn't matter. I didn't expect Edward to come anywhere near me after that nightmarish bus ride, given his pissed off expression and brooding silence. And as for the whole cabin fiasco last night, well, clearly he had suffered through that experience. I decided that I would make other arrangements tonight, even if it meant sleeping on this dock in the company of rabid squirrels and serial killers.

As I formulated a plan, I realized that Alice was studying me, probably waiting for me to pass some kind of judgment on her friends. I had enjoyed talking to them, too—at least, all but one of them.

"I did, too," I said. "Your friends are really nice."

"Well, you certainly had an effect on Edward," she said. "I haven't ever seen him like that."

I turned my head to look at her, and she was wearing a mischievous little grin, her warm hazel eyes studying mine.

"What do you mean?" I stuttered.

"Edward likes to think of himself as emotionally immune to the world around him. And he's pretty convincing, most of the time. He comes across as the quiet, brooding type."

"Well, honestly he wasn't too friendly yesterday."

"Mmm," she mused. "He was confused."

"Confused about what?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound too eager.

"Just give him some time, Bella. He'll come around."

Come around to what? Alice was being cryptic, but I didn't want to sound too interested. I could tell that she and Edward were close, and I didn't want any of my stupid ramblings getting back to him. Alice didn't seem like the gossiping type, but I didn't want to take any chances.

"Jasper's really nice," I said, attempting to change the subject. "You two are really cute together."

"Really?" she said, and her eyes were warm and bright. She sounded cautious, and I wondered if I had misread their relationship.

"Yeah, definitely," I said. "He adores you."

Well, we aren't really official yet," she said softly.

"Oh, I mean…I guess I thought at the end of the night, when you guys…" I trailed off, and I knew my cheeks were on fire at that point.

"That's what I came to apologize for, Bella. Jasper was so adamant about the fact that you and Edward needed a room—"

"What?! Alice, did you _see_ us? We didn't speak to each other all night."

"I know, and I told Jasper that. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, Bella. I guess I was being kind of selfish." She sighed and looked down at her hands. I didn't think Alice had a selfish bone in her body, and I suddenly felt ridiculously childish and guilty about the whole thing. I was the one who ended up with a honeymoon suite all to myself, after all. I should be thanking her instead of moping about someone who was completely unattainable.

"Hey, it worked out totally fine. Plus my stuff is over there now anyway, so I don't mind staying there tonight, too."

"No, that wouldn't be fair to you, Bella. I kicked you out of your room!"

"No, you didn't! You and Jasper should…you know, do your thing."

he laughed a little bit, a delicate pink risking in her face. She couldn't even remotely compete with my blushing abilities, but at least I wasn't the only one who reacted physically to embarrassment.

"We don't do much, Bella. But last night was really nice."

If we were better friends, I would have asked for details, but I didn't want to pry. I had never had any especially close friends in Phoenix, although I hoped that maybe that would change in Forks. But Alice seemed so well-liked, and I was shy, and awkward, and her closest friend seemed to hate me.

"Well, at the very least, I don't want Jasper to know that we're on to his plan," I said. Don't worry about me, Alice. I'm totally fine."

"Okay, Bella. Thanks." She looked at me, smiling warmly, but her expression was contemplative. She wanted to say something else, but she let the silence linger. I waited.

"Actually…" she said, pausing. "A part of me didn't argue with Jasper's plan because I wanted Edward to spend time with you."

I definitely hadn't expected that. Was she trying to torture him? Get some revenge? See how long he could last with me before spontaneously combusting from boredom?

"Why?" I finally managed to mumble.

"Well," she started, but we were then rudely interrupted by a loud splash just behind us. Water rained down on me, drenching my hair and shoulders. Alice was laughing, and I turned around to see Jasper in the water, a huge grin on his face.

"Jasper!" Alice squealed, but her voice was happy, relaxed. "We're soaked!"

"No you aren't," he smirked, then reached up to Alice's wrists and pulled her off the dock. Unlike him, she landed in the water with a tiny splash.

"Your turn, Bella," he teased, splashing me with his hand.

I smiled and shook my head. "I'm good," I said.

"I'll get you later then," he replied, before turning back to Alice, who was floating on her back, taking in the sun. I envied them, and I wasn't sure why.

***

After a few hours of sunbathing, walking around the grounds, and avoiding loud group activities, I headed back to my room…well, Edward's room, but it was mine too, for another night. I groaned. According to the schedule Alice had handed out yesterday, everyone was supposed to be just outside the main inn, feasting on some kind of barbecue. If I hung out in my room for the rest of the night and just went to bed early, I could probably avoid him altogether. I really didn't care if I missed another night of beer and near-nakedness.

The sun was setting, its last rays of light glistening on the surface of the bay, faintly illuminating my path in the woods. I congratulated myself for tripping only twice on my way to the cabin, especially as the night fell. When I made it to the front steps, I noticed that the lights were off, which was a good sign. I slipped inside the front door, surveying the empty room. I sighed in relief. No one was here.

The light was still filtering in weakly through the windows, so I decided not to bother with the mood lighting. It was just so cheesy and unnecessary. The little white lights looked like something out of a soft-porn movie. Or maybe I was just bitter about the fact that I had no romance in my life, and those goddamn lights were just a constant reminder of my non-existent love life. Well, whatever. Mood lighting was overrated.

I needed to wash the sticky salt water from my hair, so I reached into my bag for my towel and some shampoo. I could have sworn I had seen an extra towel in the bathroom earlier, but it wasn't there now, so the maid had probably forgotten to replace it. I felt like towels were even more necessary in a place with outdoor showers, but maybe that's just me. I undressed quickly and wrapped the dark blue towel around my breasts, tucking it underneath my arms. I was grateful for the waning light. Even though it was just a few steps from the side door to the shower stall, I didn't want to see Mike Newton or some other lumberjack ogling at me. Ugh.

I went to open the door, but I lost my balance when it opened in my face, sending me stumbling a few steps backward toward the bed. Before I had time to react, I clenched my arms against my sides and prayed to God that my flimsy towel was still covering me in all the necessary places. I leaned back against the bed, my hair a wild mess, my heart stuttering wildly in my chest. I knew who had opened the door, but I didn't want to look. I didn't even want to think about it.

"What the—?" Edward exclaimed, looking disoriented. But then his emerald eyes focused on mine, assessing my shocked expression. My already pink face flushed a deep, hot red.

"What are you doing here?" I managed to utter, but I was horribly distracted. He had that missing towel around his waist, his chest glistening and wet, his hair a dark brown from the moisture. He had one hand on the towel, and the other was shaking the water from his hair, which rained down on me in little sprinkles. He was so fucking beautiful that it hurt to look. And, of course, he was almost completely naked. That towel was so small and thin…

I forced myself to pull it together, to wrench my eyes from his body and look at the floor. I was humiliated, angry, and impossibly turned on. I had never, in my seventeen years, felt so fucking drawn to another human being. I felt something rise inside me, sink down to the pit of my stomach, and electrified my senses. I was responding physically to him, and it flustered me even more. I tried to think of something painfully dull, to remove myself and my inappropriate thoughts from this room, as though he didn't exist at all.

"This is my room, too," he said, but his voice was unusually deep.

"I know, but…" I flashed my eyes back up to his, searching his blazing green eyes for some kind of response. I didn't know what I wanted, but there I was, staring at him, desiring him. And I was just sitting here, leaning against the bed, doing nothing to remedy the situation. But as much as my reasonable mind compelled me to move out of the way, get dressed, and apologize, my very unreasonable body kept me rooted to the floor.

"I'm sorry," I huffed. "I…I didn't know you were in here."

"No, you clearly didn't," he replied. His tone was edgy, rough…aggressive, even. It almost scared me, but it emboldened me, too.

I managed to stand, hiking my towel up around my breasts, exposing the entirety of my lightly tanned legs. But instead of turning around, instead of walking away, I took two steps toward him. As I got closer, I could see his shoulders rising with his rapid breathing, hear his heart thundering in his chest. His body was reacting to me. I could see it; I could _feel_ it. When I had almost closed the distance between us, I felt the blood screaming in my ears, my face flush with an odd mixture of shyness and desire. My breath caught in my throat. What was I _doing_?!

"Do you want me to leave?" I asked, in a quiet, but uncharacteristically assertive voice. He was almost a foot taller than me, but I met his eyes easily, which looked down at me with a scorching intensity.

He attempted to clear his throat, but his voice was husky and raw when he spoke.

And the answer shocked me.

"No," he said.

He stepped toward me, and I could feel the heat from his skin as he closed the space between us. We were nearly touching now, and I could feel him through the deliciously thin towel, his body pulsing into mine. I struggled to regain my composure, to figure out what the hell was going on. But my head was clouded with lust and want and need, and I was letting my hormones drive me.

Against every usual filter in my system, every defense and wall I had carefully constructed against the world, he was breaking them down. But even as he stood over me, breathing hard, I could feel the hesitancy in his muscles, the confusion in his eyes. And I felt it too, because we had only just met, and I barely knew him, and I never—_never_—behaved this way.

He let out a low moan from the back of his throat as I situated my hips so that I could feel him against me, my legs straddling his. He ran his hand through my hair, brushing it from my face. He was slowing things down, trying to think, trying to be the sensible, responsible person that I was not…

I was almost panting now, with his hands cradling my face, and I could feel the heat of his skin through the towel. He was staring so intensely into my eyes that I thought I might explode under his gaze. He leaned in closer, and my breathing stalled. I could hear only the sounds of our hearts beating and the waves gently lapping against the shore outside.

But just when I thought our lips were going to touch, he diverted his head to the side, breathing in the scent of my hair as his lips grazed my ear.

"I'm still angry with you," he whispered, but his voice was breathless.

"And I'm still angry with you," I replied. And I was, sort of. "Edward…" I said, my throaty voice betraying my desire.

And then I froze.

"Yo, Edward!" a familiar voice yelled, pushing open the door as Jasper barged in through the front door. My entire body tensed, and Edward backed away from me like I was on fire. I dropped my head and hiked the towel up as far as it would go, and I turned my body away from the door.

Jasper just stood there for a few seconds, the painful silence building with each tortured breath that I took. I couldn't even look at Edward, and I sure as hell didn't want to look at Jasper.

"Oh, hey," he finally mumbled. "I, uh…uh, sorry man. I didn't mean—"

"I need a shower," I announced softly, and brushed by Edward as he stood in the door frame. I closed the door heavily behind me and inhaled deeply, wondering what the hell had just happened.

---

**Please review! Thank you!**


	7. Chapter 7: August 14, 2009 cont

**A/N:** I really enjoyed writing this chapter. And if you haven't played Asshole, go play it! It's fun.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight, but that's fine. I'm over it.

**August 14, 2009 (continued)**

**EPOV**

I stared at Jasper as he stood by the door, his mouth slightly open. I had no idea what the fuck I was supposed to say. This was because I had no idea what the fuck had just happened. I was taking a shower, minding my own business, when Bella crept in here and just materialized in front of me. And then…well, shit, she was half-naked and I reacted like any guy would have. Right? Yeah. Definitely. And now Jasper was here, looking at me with a shocked look on his face, expecting some kind of explanation that I didn't have.

"So…that was awkward," he said. Which was definitely true. "Uh, I can come back later."

"No, wait," I said, shaking myself out of my state of shock. "That wasn't what it looked like."

"Look, man, you don't have to explain anything to me. I told you to hit that."

"I am not 'hitting' that!" I said, my voice rising in genuine anger. "That was nothing, okay? She just walked in on me." I heard the shower running outside, and I hoped she couldn't hear this desperate lie spewing out of my mouth.

"Right," he said, rolling his eyes. "Don't bullshit me, Edward. I can play dumb if you want me to, but I'm not blind."

I sighed heavily and grabbed a shirt from the chair. I didn't want Bella to overhear this conversation, because it wasn't going to make either of us look very good. I was still sorting through the chaos of the previous ten minutes, and I needed time to think.

"Just let me throw on some clothes and I'll go with you," I said, scouring the dark room for something decent to wear.

He looked at me quizzically. Yeah, it was probably shitty of me to leave without saying anything to Bella, but I wasn't thinking about that at the moment. I would deal with her later.

"Uh, okay," he said. "I'll be outside—can't get service in here," he mumbled.

I nodded, and he practically ran out the door. The water was still running, and I had a feeling Bella was hoping we would both be gone when she came out. Well, I could definitely grant her that.

I stepped out the door and saw Jasper sitting on a tree stump, pretending to text someone on his phone. He looked up when I came out, and he seemed annoyed.

"Aren't we getting food?" I asked, avoiding his judgmental glare.

"Alice told me I couldn't come back unless I had both of you with me."

"I'm sure Bella will come as soon as she's done showering," I said, trying to suppress the very distracting mental image.

"Well, you can make sure of that yourself. I'm going," he said. He stood up and brushed some dirt from the tree stump off his ass.

"Jasper, what the hell is your problem? You're the one who walked in on me."

He shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I don't have a problem," he said.

"Yeah, you do. Don't be difficult. What is it?"

He sighed. "Look, I've spent years gushing like a schoolgirl to you about Alice, and when it happens to you, you lie to me about it. I know I'm sounding like a girl right now, but you could've been straight with me."

"I _was_ being straight with you. There is nothing between Bella and me. Nothing happened."

"Look, it's okay if you like her. I highly doubt you're the first."

I groaned. "I don't," I retorted.

"Don't be a fucking pussy, Edward. You run away from everything that makes you even remotely uncomfortable, and it's pathetic."

He let the silence hang in the air, forcing me to consider his unflattering assessment of my shitty behavior. Of course I was running away. I'd been running away all weekend, and this is where I had ended up—letting Jasper call me out on my shit, and waiting for Bella to come out that door and do the same. And of course he was right. I knew it, he knew it, and he was waiting for me to admit it.

"I figured it would pass," I mumbled.

"That what would pass?" he asked.

"I don't know, Jazz," I sighed. "When I saw her on the bus, there was…something there. I don't know."

"Yeah, well, that was obvious."

"Was it?" I looked at him in disbelief. Was I really so transparent?

"Well, yeah. Which was good for me, because then the Plan really came together. I think Alice saw Bella as an answer to her prayers."

"You're the answer to her prayers," I remarked.

"She cares about you, Edward," he said, dismissing my casual tone. "She wants you to be happy."

"She wants everyone to be happy."

"Yeah, but you especially. I think she's trying to free you from emotional lockdown."

I chuckled. That sounded like Alice, always trying to maximize people's potential. She saw the good in everyone, even if no one else did.

"And as for my take on the situation, well…," he continued. "I think you need to loosen the fuck up."

"Thanks, Jazz. I appreciate the assessment."

"You do. You should just go with it."

"I don't know what I want, Jasper," I said. "I've only known her for a day."

"Sometimes that's all it takes," he said.

He was challenging me, forcing me to think outside of my little box, which pissed me off and he knew it. After a few seconds of watching me squirm in silence—and denial—he looked at me with a devious, knowing smirk. I knew he was enjoying this. But at the same time, and in a very backwards way, he was trying to help me out.

"Anyway," he drawled, "I'm going to dinner before Mike starts a forest fire at the barbecue pit. You and Bella come along when you're ready," he said, waving his hand in the air.

"She can find it—"

"Don't argue with me, man. Don't even think about showing up without her."

He gave me one last threatening glare before he stalked off down the path, leaving me alone with my thoughts. At that moment, I really wanted to disappear into the woods like a fucking gnome or some shit, but I would just be giving Jasper the satisfaction of knowing how attuned he was to my emotional handicap.

I saw him disappear into the trees, the sound of his footsteps replaced with the gentle waves of the bay against the dock. As I turned back toward the cabin, I could no longer hear the sound of the running water, and I knew it was time to face the fucking music.

***

I knocked this time, learning from Jasper's mistake. After a few seconds, I heard nothing, so I knocked harder. Fuck this, I thought. She's not answering. I turned around and stepped off the porch.

"Hey," she said, opening the door wide, prompting me to face her. She was wearing jeans and a hoodie, which she pulled down over her ass and then crossed her arms. Yeah, she was definitely sending me a message. It looked a lot like the hands-off vibe I had experienced on the bus. And nothing like the one fifteen minutes ago.

"Hey," I said, scanning her deliciously soaked brown hair and porcelain complexion. Clearly she was all but immune to the sun, but it made her look like she belonged in another time, like the Victoria Age or the Renaissance. It suited her and her perfect features.

"Can I help you?" she asked, and her voice was flat, unreadable.

"I'm going to dinner," I replied, still standing in the doorway. I felt like an exile, but I didn't care. "Want to come?"

"I'm not all that hungry," she explained.

"Bullshit," I said, fighting the urge to smile. Her expression stayed the same, but I could see her eyes brighten.

"Come on," I pressed.

"You're pushy."

"I know."

A small, hesitant smile appeared on her face, which left me breathless as her whole face lit up. I wondered if there was a way I could make her smile all the time. Knowing how fucking moody I was, though, I knew I'd have some difficulties there.

"Okay," she relented. "But just for the food."

"Not the company?" I teased.

She paused, contemplating something. "Are you flirting with me?" she asked.

"Uh…" I stammered. Uh oh. Fuck. I think I was. This was unfamiliar territory.

"I'm just giving you a hard time," she said, almost shyly. She stepped out of the dark room and closed the door behind her. She walked gingerly down the steps, muttering something about a lack of necessary lights along poorly-lit paths. She didn't look up at me or say anything to me because she was so damn fixated on the interaction between her feet and the ground.

"If you fall, I'll catch you, you know."

She tore her eyes away from the dirt and looked at me.

"I'd rather not risk it," she said. "When I go down, I go down hard." Was it wrong that my mind went immediately to the gutter with that comment?

"Are you always so self-conscious?" I asked.

"Are you always so coordinated?" she replied. I never thought of myself as particularly…coordinated, but compared to her, I probably seemed like a professional athlete.

"So…" I said, clearing my throat. "Do you want to talk about what happened in there?"

She didn't respond right away, but I heard her inhale deeply. "Not really. Do you?"

"Not really."

Didn't girls always want to talk about shit? Or maybe I just knew nothing about girls. Or maybe this one was an aberration. Alice always wanted to talk my ear off about every mundane detail of people's lives, like the holes in Emmett's baseball shirts and the days that Rosalie wore too much perfume. Jasper and I talked about chicks and dicks and…yeah. When we got tired of those two topics, we usually got into some kind of political argument that always turned ugly.

We walked the rest of the way in silence, and Bella didn't look up once. When the campfires finally came into view, she sighed with relief.

"See? That wasn't so bad—" I began.

And then she tripped, as if on cue. But this time I was prepared, and I reached out and grabbed her arm, and pulled her up.

"I hate myself," she mumbled, looking down at the ground as I held her arm. For some reason, I wasn't too anxious to let go.

"Don't," I said. She slowly raised her head, meeting her eyes with mine. "I told you I'd catch you." I studied her face, watching the tension slowly vanish. And then she blushed, warm and pink and cute as hell.

"Dude!" Emmett called, and I turned to see his huge figure lumbering toward us. He had a beer in one hand and a drumstick in the other. His fingers were covered in barbecue sauce, but he didn't seem to notice.

"Just in time, man," he said, glancing at Bella, but she looked uneasy. "The Canadian World Series of Poker is about to begin."

"Sounds intense," I commented, but Emmett always missed the sarcasm. "Who's playing?"

"You, me, Jasper, Rosalie, and Alice."

"Well, great. What are we wagering?" I asked.

"No one wanted a re-do of strip poker, so…looks like cash this time," he said, sounding disappointed. "Do you, uh…do you want to play, Bella?"

"Oh, no thanks," she said. "It's not really my kind of game," she added softly. I raised my eyebrows.

"Then what is your kind of game?" I asked.

"Well, it's better with alcohol…" she offered.

"Sounds good to me," Emmett said, cutting her off. "I don't want this douchebag taking any more of my hard-earned cash anyway."

"Hard-earned, Em? Betting people you can eat forty Hot Pockets in 10 minutes—"

"Hey, just because you can't do it, doesn't mean you have the right to insult my skills."

I rolled my eyes. Emmett took his "skills" very seriously, especially when it came to eating, fucking, and pumping iron.

We walked over to the picnic table, where Jasper was attempting to show Alice and Rosalie a card trick that involved an elaborate back-story. Alice was laughing, but Rosalie had a puzzled look on her face.

"So, listen up, you goons. Bella has an idea for a card game," Emmett thundered. For some inexplicable reason, he seemed to think Bella couldn't handle his usual dose of profanity. So he went with…goons.

"Thank god," Rosalie sighed. "I hate poker. It's so complicated." Some of us apparently had trouble with simple math. Even Jasper rolled his eyes.

"What's the game, Bella?" Alice asked as we sat down. Bella sat across from me, and she seemed at ease now. Maybe Rosalie's comment had loosened her up. This wasn't a tough crowd.

"It's called Asshole," she said, her voice scanning faces for approval. "You pass around cards, and based on when in the game you go out, you're either the Asshole, Vice-Asshole, Vice-President, or President."

"So where does the drinking come in?" Emmett asked as he chugged the last of his Keystone Light. Not quite a step up from last night, unfortunately.

"The Asshole drinks a lot because…well, he's the asshole," Bella explained. "And the President drinks because he wins every round—once you're in a position of power—"

"Or assholery," Emmett added.

"Um, yes," she paused. "Or assholery…it's hard to get yourself out."

I waited for Emmett to launch a full battery of toilet and shit jokes, but he seemed intrigued. He thrived on competition, especially anything involving food and beer. At least he was open about it.

Bella explained the rules in more detail, and soon we were passing around cards, drinking beer and inhaling the last of the barbecue chicken as the game went on. Bella went out first, tossing her cards into the center of the table, a very satisfied smile on her face.

"Psh," Jasper said. "Of course you won the first round. We're all still catching on here."

"It's a pretty straightforward game, Jasper," she chided, but her voice was playful and light.

"Shut up," he said, grumbling as he rearranged his cards. But Bella was laughing, a genuine, feminine laughter that brought color to her cheeks and warmth to her eyes. She didn't look at me, and I was trying not to look at her, but she was so fucking radiant. And she was having fun.

After two more rounds, Jasper tossed in his cards with a flourish, announcing his status as Vice-President. He downed a warm beer to celebrate. I looked at my own cards, not really caring too much what they were—I knew I'd finish somewhere in the middle of the pack, definitely ahead of Rosalie and Emmett, at least.

A few turns later, though, Rosalie let out a little squeal and placed the last of her cards on the table. She smiled brightly at Emmett, who looked kind of agitated. He grunted in frustration.

"Shit, baby, that wasn't supposed to happen," he said.

"You can punish me later," she cooed, giving him her sex eyes and gripping his leg with her hand.

"Okay, people," Jasper said, glaring at Emmett and Rosalie, whose sex drive seemed to correlate well with alcohol intake. "You're making some people uncomfortable." He looked at Bella, whose cheeks were red. She was so fucking adorable when her face lit up like that.

"I'm not uncomfortable, Jasper," she said, suppressing a smile. "It's just my Asian glow."

"You're Asian?" Rosalie asked, genuinely interested.

"Uh…" Bella trailed off, but Jasper just shook his head, smiling to himself.

"She just looks like one when she drinks, Rose," Alice explained. I sometimes wondered if Rosalie was just playing all of us, seeing how far she could take the "dumb blonde" persona. I had a feeling one day she would dye her hair a dark brown and start lecturing us on quantum physics or some shit. Wouldn't shock me.

"I'm out!" Emmett thundered, rocketing his last two cards onto the table so that the rest went flying. "So I'm in fourth. What does that make me?"

"A loser?" I said, smirking.

"You aren't exactly dominating, bro," he said, returning the insult.

"You're nothing," Bella said to Emmett. "You're like…the middle child."

Jasper started laughing, and Emmett just shuffled in his seat. He actually was a middle child, and he was rather bizarrely insecure about it. I looked back down at my cards, contemplating my next move. As long as I didn't get last place, I could still save face here.

"Looks like we're the assholes, Edward," Alice said to me, flashing me a knowing smile. And then she put her cards down with her usual delicacy and grace, her eyes fluttering in the gentlest mockery she could manage.

"Fuck," I said, looking down at her cards, then back up at her. "Well, hey, that's okay. Warm-up round."

Bella glanced up at me, her eyes devious and dark, a smile playing on her lips. Then she gathered the pile of cards and redistributed them, reminding us all of the rules. But as Jasper went to take his turn, she stopped him.

"Hold up," she said. "This is the most important part. Jasper and Alice, you're the Vice-Prez and Asshole, which means you each exchange one card. Jasper, you give her your worst card, and Alice, you have to give him your best."

"Heh heh," Jasper cackled, tossing her a card from the edge of his stack. "Let's have it."

Alice's brow crinkled, and she surveyed her hand for her best card, whatever that was. Probably a wild card, if she had one. I was starting to see where this was going.

"And Edward," she said, turning to me. "Your two best, please." She looked at me sweetly, then handed me two shit cards that made my already miserable hand even worse.

"Can I choose the cards?" I asked, looking directly at her.

"No, your best cards aren't subjective. I don't want the queen that looks the hottest. Give me your wilds," she demanded, and her words smoldered in my ear.

I groaned. "This isn't fair."

"And you should drink up," she added, swiping my beloved wild cards from my fingers. She was playing rough. I kind of liked it.

We started the round, tossing in our cards, drinking nasty beer, enjoying our freedom. I had never seen Emmett concentrate so hard in my life, and he clutched his cards like they were the last Hot Pocket he would ever consume. Alice and Jasper were talking to Bella as she casually evaluated her hand and took her turns, while Emmett swatted Rosalie away when she tried to give him some helpful hints. And I was just kind of sitting there, watching my friends do their thing, enjoying the night and loosening the fuck up, as Jasper put it.

Of course, I was losing, which pissed me off at first. And with this fucked up card exchange rule, I remained the Asshole for the rest of the night. I didn't really mind, though, as long as Bella was President, so I could watch her bite her bottom lip as she sorted through her cards, deciding my fate. And my fate was to lose, which I did until the beer ran out, and Rosalie's head drooped onto Emmett's shoulder.

"Good times," Jasper commented, appraising Emmett's drunken expression, Rosalie's soft snoring, Alice's sleepy smile, and Bella's look of satisfaction. He gave me a look that confused the fuck out of me, probably the remnants of our earlier conversation. Or maybe he knew something I didn't. I never really knew with Jasper. He was a sly little fucker.

"Well, I'm going to be the grandmother here and get to bed," Alice said, her eyes drooping.

Jasper's eyes darted to me, and it looked like he was trying to force some kind of telepathic connection. But I didn't need it this time; he could have his Plan for one more night.

"I'll walk with you," he said, glancing once more at me and nudging Alice's shoulder. She smiled sweetly at him, and if I weren't such a manly guy, my heart might have melted a little bit.

"Yeah, man, I'm beat," Emmett added. "And Rosalie is…"

"Unconscious?" Jasper said.

"Looks that way." And then Emmett bent over and scooped her up, cradling her in his huge arms. He looked satisfied.

"Good night, guys," Alice said, and then my happily coupled friends began their tipsy trek through the woods, leaving me with Mrs. President.

"Fun game," I commented, as Bella gathered up the cards and downed the last of her beer. She was tiny, but I could have sworn she drank more than Emmett. I sure as fuck hoped Emmett hadn't noticed that—he'd whip out his breathalyzer next time just to prove a point.

"Well, honestly…" she said, trailing off as she gazed deep into my eyes, hooded with beer and a little bit of something else. "I prefer being the Asshole."

"Oh, really?" I asked, studying her teasing expression. The alcohol had loosened her up a bit, but she was still cautious, guarded. She stood up and I followed her down the path.

"Yes," she said, biting her lip again. "I don't like being the dominant one."

Well, holy fuck, what did she like then? Submitting? I somehow managed to keep that thought to myself, but it wasn't easy.

"Hmm," I mused. "I never met anyone who liked to lose."

"I never said that," she said, a sly grin creeping across her lips. Then she stumbled on something, mumbling a hot little profanity as she regained her balance.

I had her by the arm again, which was becoming second nature.

"Do you want me to just carry you?" I asked, gently teasing her. I knew she was self-conscious as hell about her…unsteadiness, but the booze was loosening me up.

"Ugh, no," she said, dismissing the idea with a cute little huff. She stood still for a bit, staring into the woods, letting the silence linger. She looked down and circled her foot in the dirt, clearly stalling. Then she drew her eyes up to mine, and my mind whirled with a million different possibilities. She was so fucking mysterious, and it frustrated and excited me all at once.

"We could do this, though," she said, almost in a whisper. She looked at me cautiously, then reached out and took my hand in hers. It was warm and small, and I never thought hand-holding could feel so fucking good.

For once, I didn't feel the need to question, or explain, or wonder. Maybe I had the booze to thank for it, but she was holding my hand, and I liked it. It was simple, easy. And undeniably intimate.

She smiled shyly, and with a little more confidence than before, she led me down the path to the water's edge. This time, with our fingers intertwined, I followed willingly. And I had no fucking idea what the night would bring.

***

As the cabin came into view, its windows reflecting the white light of the moon, Bella stopped. She turned to look at me, and her expression was one of subtle concern. It caught me off-guard, and I wondered what the hell she could possibly be worried about.

"Are you going to sleep outside again?" she asked suddenly.

"I didn't sleep outside last night," I replied, which was true.

"Well, you weren't there in the morning," she said softly. "And you didn't seem too happy with me when we went to bed." She cringed a little bit, and a faint blush rose in her cheeks. I had a feeling I wasn't the only one twisting her words in my head.

"I woke up early," I explained. The floor wasn't exactly conducive to a good night's sleep. And she didn't know I'd taken a four-hour nap today to make up for it.

"I see," she said, resuming her languid pace. We stepped up onto the porch, and she opened the door slowly. "I just feel like I'm inconveniencing you."

"You are," I said, following her into the dark room. It was true, but my voice had a distinctly teasing edge to it.

"Well, in that case, I'll take the floor tonight," she offered. Her tone was serious.

"Don't be ridiculous," I replied, my voice harsher than I'd intended.

As we walked through the room, I took note of the fact that she had deliberately avoided turning on the lights. But the night was crystal clear, and the moon was extraordinarily bright. It trickled in through the windows and illuminated her delicate features. All weekend I had noticed how cute she was, with her constant little stumbles, bouncy brown hair, and shy smile. But here, now, she was much more than that. She was breathtakingly beautiful.

"Let's compromise," she said. I looked at her quizzically, her eyes deep and dark and completely unreadable.

"And what did you have in mind?" I asked.

"Well, the bed is huge. We can share," she suggested, but her voice was soft and shy, as though she expected a rejection.

I paused, watching as the color rose in her face. Honestly, I wasn't sure this was a particularly great idea. Given the shower incident earlier, I didn't think it was going to matter how big the bed was; I wouldn't sleep at all knowing she was two feet away from me. And I'd probably wake up with a raging morning wood, and that would be embarrassing.

"Nevermind—" she started.

"No," I said. "That works for me."

She let out a little sigh, then smiled.

"You know, I kind of miss being angry with you," she teased.

"Likewise," I said. "You're entertaining when you're pissed off."

"I'm glad I amuse you," she said, as she walked into the bedroom. I followed slowly, wondering how this was going to go. I sure as fuck hoped she would at least take that hoodie off. Personally, I decided I needed to keep all my clothes on so I could think straight. She gave me a little smirk before she pulled something out of her bag and disappeared into the bathroom. There was a chair in the corner, so I decided to take that instead of climbing right into bed. For some reason, the thought of me under the covers, waiting for her, seemed especially…honeymoonish. Well, fuck, we _were_ in the honeymoon suite, weren't we? This was probably as close as I was ever going to get to a wedding night.

After a few minutes, she emerged in grey sweatpants and a loosely fitting t-shirt, which obscured the gentle curve of her hips and the rise of her breasts. I couldn't decide if the t-shirt was better than the hoodie or not. The fabric was definitely thinner. So, this was better. Yes, this was definitely better.

"Are you stalling?" she asked me, noting my reclining figure in the chair.

"No," I said, but I wasn't exactly jumping into bed. I was worried about something, unsure…fuck, I was _nervous_. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been nervous, unless I counted the day that Emmett had challenged me to a duel with his num-chucks. I don't know who the fuck even owned num-chucks, but Emmett did, and he liked to use them in the living room.

"Okay," she said. "Well, you can…do your thing. I'm going to sleep."

I noticed the slight change in her voice, the way her words shook a little bit, and how her breathing was coming a little faster now. I allowed myself a smile as she climbed up onto the impossibly large bed, occupying the far right edge. She was nervous, too.

"No need to get all pissy about it," I said, rising to my feet and taking the opposite side of the bed. I lay on my back, staring at the dimly lit ceiling, watching the shadows dance across the white walls. She was on her side, facing the other direction, breathing faster than she should have been.

I closed my eyes, relishing the feel of something soft beneath me. This felt a hell of a lot better than the fucking floor, that was for sure.

"You're so quiet," she said softly, so softly that I almost didn't hear.

"Isn't that normal for a sleeping person?" I asked. Uh oh. Shit. Was she going to think I was making a comment about her very vocal dreams? I did not feel like addressing that right now.

"I guess," she muttered, and I sighed with relief. She was still facing away from me, and while I appreciated her very cute ass, I really wanted to see her face.

"Did you want to talk about something?" I prodded.

"Not really."

"Look who's being quiet now," I commented.

She sighed, inhaling sharply as she rolled over to face me. Her hair tumbled across her face, and she brushed the strands aside with her fingers. I was still on my back, but I tilted my head slightly to see her.

"Edward…" she said, trailing off.

I waited, although I desperately wanted her to just spit it out. But she just lay there, her eyes open, her fingers fidgeting.

"Nevermind," she said.

"Bella," I growled, more harshly than I intended. "Spit it out."

"No," she said.

"Yes."

"No."

"I'm not doing this with you."

She reached over, placed her tiny hand on mine. The contact with her skin sent a pulse through my blood like an electric current. We were entering very dangerous territory, and I fought the urge to pull away. I wanted her, God I wanted her, but I needed to keep things distant. My emotionally dysfunctional self wanted to keep her completely in the dark about how I felt.

"What do you see in me, Edward?"

My breath caught in my throat, because I sure as fuck wasn't expecting that question. And I could have said a million different things, but instead, I hesitated. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I could hear her breathing, waiting, praying I would say something. But I kept my mouth shut like the emotionally dead fucker I was.

She sighed heavily, and I knew she was done speaking for the night. Her shoulders rose and fell with her quiet breathing, and I wanted so badly to reach out and touch her, to have her look at me so I could say what I should have said. But I was a fucker and a fool and she was gone.

I closed my eyes, shutting out this room and everything in it. But a part of me knew that even a dreamless sleep couldn't fix this. Somewhere, somehow, that question would haunt me, long after I woke up.

---

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	8. Chapter 8: August 14, 2009 cont

**A/N**: So in my opinion, setting is everything. And this scene was hard because dreams come up a lot in Twilight and some other great fanfics, especially because Bella talks in her sleep. So I i just wanted to make it clear that I was inspired by several people/stories in writing this chapter, but I hope it sounds original, too.

And one more thing - I do believe you can fall for someone in one day. I just do.

That's it!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own these fake people, nor the real ones in my life.

**August 14, 2009 (continued)**

**EPOV**

I awoke to the sound of frantic, heaving gasps and a rush of unintelligible words. It broke the stillness of the room in an eerie, terrifying way, and even I was freaked out. I let my eyes adjust to the blackness of the room, and turned over to see Bella on her side, breathing heavily, muttering something between choked sobs. I heard my name, softly but clearly, and my eyes opened wide.

Obviously, I had never been in this situation before. I had no idea what the fuck I was supposed to do. Wasn't it dangerous to wake someone up who was dreaming? Or was that sleepwalking? Didn't it cause brain damage? Fuck, I didn't want to give her an aneurysm or something. But she was crying and breathing hard that I thought she might give herself one of those anyway.

"Bella," I said softly, hoping that might do it. It didn't.

"Bella," I repeated, considerably louder this time. Her frenzied dream continued, and her body was trembling.

"Bella, wake up," I said, reaching out to her. She was facing me, but she had her head buried in her chest, curled up in the fetal position.

"Come here," I murmured, taking her in my arms, moving my body close to hers. I brushed the hair from her face and whispered her name, running my hands along her arms and up to her shoulders. Her breathing slowed, and her expression relaxed, restoring the serene beauty of her sleeping face.

"Edward," she breathed, and I liked the sound of it much better now that the chokes and sobs had subsided. I also liked the fact that I was on her mind, in some way, at least. I hoped I wasn't the one causing all the hysterics, though.

"It's okay," I said, whispering to her sleeping form. "I'm so sorry."

I knew she was asleep, but maybe somewhere in her subconscious, she would register the words I should have said. Maybe, somehow, she would understand that I was emotionally fucked up. Maybe she would forgive me, even if my voice came to her in a dream ten years from now and she remembered.

"You asked me what I see in you," I whispered, my face in her hair, my lips brushing her ear. Her breathing was slow and quiet, her face peaceful. My eyes had adjusted to the dark room, and I could see her clearly now, lying still in the pale moonlight that danced across the bed.

"Everything, Bella," I said, my voice hushed. "Everything about you draws me to you."

I looked at her with the same intensity that I felt, one of my hands on her waist, the other in her hair, my fingers teasing the skin on her neck. She was so impossibly close, and her skin was smooth and satiny and fucking flawless. Her eyes were deep pools of brown, and I knew I'd lose myself in them completely if I didn't look away soon.

I sighed heavily, feeling somewhat better. At least I said what I should have said, even if it was too late.

"Edward," she murmured, shifting closer, her chest against mine. My breath hitched in my throat. This girl dreamed about me a whole fucking lot, and I liked it.

At first I hardly noticed when she moved her hand from the space between us. I was so fixated on her lovely face that I wasn't even conscious of anything else. But I noticed it when she traced it up my arm, across my shoulder, and along the pulsing veins in my neck. She reached the roots of my tousled hair, which she grasped in her tiny fist. My breathing was quickening and I was getting hard, which seemed wrong and weird and hot all at once.

As my breath caught in my throat, I suddenly felt the pressure on my neck as she pulled me to her, finding my lips with hers and kissing me sweetly. I was too shocked to react in any coherent way, so I kissed her back, taking her lower lip in mine, savoring the taste of her.

But she was leading here, not me, and she pulled her little body closer to mine, pressing her tongue against my lips, begging for access. I eagerly granted it, and she deepened the kiss with her entire body, raking her hands through my hair and arching her hips into mine. I hissed as she crushed her little body against my throbbing hard-on; I was turned on as fuck and I was glad she was dreaming, because I was pitching a serious tent down there. A low moan escaped the back of my throat, and I deepened the kiss even more. I had never kissed anyone like this before. I had never wanted anyone like this before.

"Best…dream…ever," I gasped against her lips, matching her urgency as her fingers pulled at my hair and her breath came in quick, desperate gasps.

"Mmm…I agree," she whispered, and I froze. I pulled back slowly, cautiously, wondering if maybe I really was dreaming.

"You're…awake?" I asked. Now she knew I thought she was asleep, and I'd been kissing her, which made me seem kind of creepy. But I was going to blame this on the fact that I never dreamed, so I had assumed she was enjoying herself.

"Gotcha," she said, smiling teasingly.

I smiled weakly. Oops.

"I _was _asleep," she continued. "But you woke me up."

"You seemed upset," I murmured.

"I was…I mean…I remember I was in the woods, looking for you, but you were gone. And then I heard your voice, and I knew I wasn't dreaming anymore."

"You're a little vixen, you know that?" I teased, my voice low and hushed and ridiculously husky.

"Am I?" she whispered, tangling her fingers in my hair and pulling me roughly toward her. I explored her mouth with my own, biting her lips gently, thrusting my tongue into her mouth when she teased me with her restraint. When she broke the kiss, gasping for air, I moved my lips across her jawbone, down the delicate expanse of her neck, and back up again. I had seen and coveted her delectable collarbone, but her shirt was in the way and I had to repress the sudden urge to rip it right off her. So instead I continued to explore her body with my lips, which were wet and swollen from the first encounter. I was breathing heavily against her skin, which had flushed a delicious, irresistible pink.

As I roamed up her neck to her ear, I took the edge of it into my mouth, nibbling gently. I stopped to whisper in her ear, as her breath hitched and she whimpered breathlessly.

"As I was saying earlier," I said, taking my sweet fucking time. I knew I was teasing her—I could tell by her little gasps and moans and the fact that her hips were bucking against mine at an increasing rate—but I wasn't going to stop.

"I'm drawn to you…" I continued.

Her heart thundered in her chest as she struggled to catch her breath. She seemed like she wanted to say something, but she moaned softly instead, breathing deeply against my hair as I trailed kisses along her face and neck.

"Because..." I breathed.

"Why?" she gasped, and I could feel her fingertips digging into my skin, frenzied and desperate and driven by desire.

"You're beautiful," I whispered, my expression dead serious. I wanted her to know that.

She smiled and pulled my face to hers, engulfing me in her warm, sweet mouth. Her hands resumed their trek through my hair, pausing at the nape of my neck, then finding their way across my chest and…holy fuck, I actually groaned when she placed her warm, slender hands on my bare skin. My already rock-hard dick got even harder, and I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her toward me.

"And you're intelligent," I murmured, my voice raw. There was nothing tame or proper about the kissing now. It was furious and crazy and demanding and the taste of her skin was filling my head with a thick cloud of lust.

"And funny," I continued, teasing the hem of her shirt with my fingers.

"And kind," I murmured, tickling the skin around her navel.

"And sexy as all hell," I finished, meeting her gaze with mine as we stopped to breathe.

"You should take a look at yourself," she managed to gasp. "Although I can't see you very well at the moment." A devious smile spread across her face. And then she reached down to my waist and pulled my shirt over my head, and I stopped to savor the way her hands enveloped me, coursing across my skin like a hot iron. I looked at her clothed body and got anxious.

"I think you need to take this off," I said, glancing down at her oversized shirt.

"If you prefer," she replied, her eyes dark and teasing.

She pushed me back as we both sat up, and I watched her pull the shirt over her head, leaving me with a view of her lacy blue bra and porcelain skin. A lot of skin. I was so fucking turned on that it hurt, and my jeans weren't helping matters.

But I had to push that out of my mind for the moment. Now that her damn shirt was gone, I could explore her collarbone and all the wonderful things below it. I ran my hands over her skin, from the ridge of her shoulders to the smooth, white skin that disappeared at the waist of her pants. Her nipples were just as hard as my dick, and she moaned softly when I cupped my hands over the thin fabric of her bra. I could feel her arousal in her perky, heaving breasts, but there was somewhere else I was dying to explore. I had four other senses and I wanted to use them all…

But before I could get any further, and before I had any idea what the hell was going on, I felt her little hand grasp my dick through my pants. I groaned, a low, guttural sound that escaped through my teeth like a hiss. Holy fuck, she was holding my cock, and she was clenching it _hard_. I resisted the urge to put my own hand down there, to guide her along the length of me as I struggled to pull myself together. But she was way ahead of me, like she was reading my mind, and she started working me through the fabric, creating a mind-numbing friction against my boxers and jeans that made my fucking head spin.

"Bella…" I breathed, inhaling the scent of her hair as she rocked beneath me. She was teasing me and I wanted to finish this, to take her like a fucking animal. I battled between those base urges and the gentle beauty in her face, the delicacy of her features, her little smile. I needed to slow it down.

"Bella," I sighed again, and the roughness in my voice startled me. I wanted her but we couldn't do it like this, not tonight, not when we had only one day to separate our roles as strangers and…something more. And if I kept this going for one more minute, one more second even, I wouldn't be able to stop.

So I did. Somehow, I did. I removed my hand from her waist and stroked her hair with my fingers, cupping her chin in my hand. I brought her face to mine and kissed her lips softly, although my breathing was ragged and my heart was racing like a fucking freight train. She lay back, panting, her. I collapsed at her side, my hand resting on her stomach as it rose and fell with her breathing. That was, without a doubt, the best fucking non-sex I'd ever had.

I watched her chest rise and fall, waiting for her to break the fragile silence of the room. Her breathing was slowing, but her face was still flushed and wet with sweat, her hair damp against my skin. My cock was aching something fierce, but I didn't care. I tried to convince myself I had done the right thing.

"We had to stop…"I began.

"I know," she said. I sighed with relief—and disappointment. She was agreeing with me.

"It doesn't mean I wanted to, though," she added, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Did it look like _I_ wanted to stop?" I asked.

She shifted herself onto her side, brushing the bulge in my pants that, at this point, had no hope of subsiding. I inhaled sharply, anticipating a severe case of blue balls in the morning.

"No, I guess you didn't," she said, blushing all over again. I ran my thumb over her cheeks, feeling the heat of her blood in her face. I definitely had a thing for her deep, frequent blushes. "I'm not usually so…aggressive," she murmured.

"I didn't mind," I said. And that was definitely true. But Bella's confession didn't surprise me; she was quiet, and shy, and aside from the color in her cheeks that continually gave her away, she buried her emotions deep beneath the surface. And given the size of her hoodie, which would have fit Emmett, she didn't exactly flaunt her sexuality.

"So where are we now?" she asked, nestling into the crook of my arm.

I inhaled deeply, savoring the scent of her. Why do girls always smell so good?

"I don't know," I said, closing my eyes, succumbing to sleep. "But I think I may start calling you Mrs. President."

---

**A/N: **I couldn't go with a full-out lemon right away, could I? No! Plenty of time for that.

Also, I would like to thank my roommate, who read me sex scenes from some author who writes "literary smut," which she thought would improve my writing. Maybe it did!

Please review if you want to. It'll be a little while until the next update. Thanks!


	9. Chapter 9: August 13, 2010

**A/N:** So this is one year later, just one chapter per year from now on (albeit longer chapters...). There is a big lemon here, but it had to be done, and not all the chapters will be as lemony or happy as this one. Life happens and shit hits the fan, what can I say. I like happy endings, though.

A friend of mine suggested I change my pen name to Smutballs. I kind of like that.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight.

-----

**AUGUST 13, 2010**

**BPOV**

"May I help you, miss?"

A man with wispy brown hair and salt and pepper beard greeted me at the front desk, smiling warmly as I searched through my bag.

"Oh…yes," I said, pulling out my wallet and a sheet of paper. "I have a reservation."

"The name, please?"

"Swan," I said.

"Just a moment, Ms. Swan," he replied, typing my name on a keyboard that looked almost as old as I was. The computer wheezed and whirred.

"You look familiar," he said, glancing up at my face. "Have you stayed here before?"

"Wow, you have a good memory," I replied. "I was here last summer, with my class."

"Ah yes, the Forks High School students. I rarely forget a face," he explained.

"Do you own this hotel?" I asked, surveying the hardwood floors and antiques. The furnishings were simple but elegant, and I could tell that someone had put a lot of time and effort into its upkeep.

"My father did, until last year. Now my wife and I run the business."

"Oh," I said, deciding to avoid the topic of this guy's father. I never handled those conversations very well.

"Well, it's beautiful," I commented. He smiled, pulling my reservation from a printer that I couldn't believe still worked. Charlie had one just like it in the garage, covered with dust an inch thick.

"Thank you," he replied. "May I ask what brings you back to our little island?"

His question caught me off guard, and while the answer was far too complicated to explain to this complete stranger, I had to give him something.

"I had such a good time last year that I wanted to come back," I offered.

"Well, I'm very happy to hear that. We try to take especially good care of our returning guests."

He handed the paper to me, along with a map of the grounds. He circled my destination, which was easy to find because it was so close to the water's edge.

"You'll be staying in the honeymoon suite, as you requested. I've circled it on your map. Do you know how to get there?" he asked.

"I think so," I replied, but I could feel the heat rising to my face. I anticipated a series of questions about my recent nuptials, which of course there were none. I had chosen that room for a very particular reason, but it had nothing to do with a honeymoon.

"My name is Mr. Denali if you should need anything. Please don't hesitate to contact the front desk, any time of night."

"Okay, I will," I said, smiling politely. I set the papers on the desk and fumbled with my backpack, my nerves rising in my throat. I wasn't even sure why I was nervous, why my fingers were shaking slightly and my voice had a little quiver to it. The difficult part had been escaping Charlie for two days, convincing him I had some sort of pre-orientation college retreat to go to. I had no reason to be anxious now.

As I dug inside for my cell phone, a sudden gust of air sent my little pile of papers on the desk fluttering to the floor. I inhaled deeply to calm myself, but as I did so, I was overcome by a familiar and distinctive scent that made my heart flutter and my breath catch. I turned around, and he was there, smiling his beautiful, crooked smile. He wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my hair, kissing me softly.

"You're late," I whispered.

"No," he said. "You're just pathologically punctual."

He released me from his embrace, and reached over to pick up the bag I had just completely ransacked. I saw him smile at Mr. Denali, who recognized Edward and gave him a little wave; he really did have a thing for faces. Then again, I couldn't imagine anyone ever forgetting Edward's face. Even though I saw it every day, and just about every night in my vivid dreams, he always left me breathless.

"Well, given the way you drive—"

He clicked his tongue, smirking at me. "We can't talk about that here," he said.

"It doesn't count as part of the trip?"

"No, getting to and from here doesn't count. Those are the rules," he said with mock seriousness. We had discussed the "rules" before coming here, and it seemed like an interesting challenge. Plus, this little rendezvous was an escape from Forks, and we couldn't really do that if we talked about our lives back home.

"I have a feeling I'm going to struggle with the rules."

"Not if I keep you sufficiently distracted," he said, a sly smile on his lips, taking my hand as we started down the path toward the water's edge.

***

Ten minutes later, we were standing on the little porch, lingering outside the door. Edward had the keys in his pocket, and he was jingling them loudly.

"Are we waiting for something?" I asked.

He paused. "I'm thinking," he said.

"About what?" I suddenly felt a little nervous. Was he getting cold feet about our Forks escape? It wasn't like Edward to get cold feet, but he had his moments.

"You," he said. "I'm thinking about the first time I saw you."

I groaned. "I did a face plant the first time you saw me."

"I know," he said, his face brightening at the memory. "But it was a cute face plant."

I groaned. "Do you know that I spent that entire weekend worrying about it? I felt like such a moron."

He sighed, tightening his hold on my hand and turning me to face him. "I was the moron, Bella. I almost ruined everything that weekend."

"It doesn't matter now, Edward. We're here now."

"I love you, Bella."

"I know." I smiled and pulled his face down to mine, kissing him slowly, languidly. My nerves buzzed at the contact, and a current pulsed through my veins. My physical reaction to him was always this intense, even now, a year after we met. Even more so now, if that were possible. And tonight…well, tonight was different for several reasons.

I had intended it to be a sweet, chaste kiss, but I began running my hands through his hair and heard the sound of my backpack drop to the floor. I didn't care. I deepened the kiss with my lips, my mouth, my tongue; I felt him respond to me, pulling me closer, harder. A soft moan escaped the back of my throat, and he pulled back, leaving me gasping.

"So, Bella…" he sighed. "Don't you think we should attempt to actually use the room we booked?"

"No," I breathed. "You were stalling. I got impatient."

"I know you did," he smirked, turning from me and opening the door. He picked up our bags and walked into the dark room, turning on the lights as we entered.

"I almost forgot about these," he remarked, eyeing the twinkly white lights.

Apparently this is what Mr. Denali pictured when he thought of a perfect wedding night. I wasn't really sure how I felt about them, although they certainly gave new meaning to the concept of mood lighting.

"So, my little seductress, are you hungry?" he asked, placing our things by the tiny bathroom. He sat on the bed, eyeing me as I leaned against the doorframe.

"Maybe," I said. "But it can wait a bit."

I knew that Edward could read my moods like a book, but he wasn't quite attuned to my thoughts. He knew what every smile meant, and he knew that my eyes often gave me away. When I was nervous, he knew it because my heart thundered in my chest; and when I was embarrassed, it showed in my face like a billboard, ranging from slight pink to a deep, unmistakable red. He was reading me now, and I could feel his eyes on me, registering the little hints that he had come to know so well.

"What is it, Bella? Something's on your mind."

"It's nothing," I lied.

"You know, you drive me crazy when you say that. One of these days, you'll learn to just spit it all out."

"I've been doing better," I argued.

He raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to continue. Communication was never my strong point, but I was working on it.

"Look who's stalling now," he said.

I sighed, bringing my hands together so I could fidget with them as I worked out my words in my head. He probably had a good idea of what I wanted to say, but Edward would never press me. He believed that I would eventually tell him whatever I wanted him to hear, even if it took hours or days or even weeks.

"You know how hard I've fallen for you, Edward," I began. "And this past year in Forks—"

"Bella—"

"But I have to talk about it!"

"No, you don't. I know you can say what you want to say without mentioning any part of the last year. I want you in the here and now, and that's it."

I sighed, looking to his wonderfully familiar face for guidance. He was right, of course. Tonight was just for us.

"I'm afraid, Edward."

He waited for me to continue, but I just let the silence linger. I saw the worry on his face and I immediately regretted saying anything at all.

"Bella, come here."

I looked up at him, his eyes pleading and concerned. I walked slowly toward the bed, and he put his arm around my waist as I sat down. I loved the sensation of his hand on my waist, so intimate, but so secure, too.

"What are you afraid of?" he asked.

I hesitated briefly, staring hard at my hands.

"I'm afraid of losing you," I murmured.

He inhaled sharply, and his face dropped a bit. "I'm right here, Bella. I'm not going anywhere."

"But you are! You're going away to college, and I'm going, and we won't be together anymore. How will I be able to leave Forks without you? Spend every single day without you? Just thinking about it…"

I trailed off, feeling my eyes water as I stared at the floorboards. Edward was going away to California and I was staying in Washington, something I regretted every single day. We hadn't gotten together immediately after last year's trip; things had progressed slowly after that unexpected weekend, and it had been a very angsty year. By the time Edward and I finally got our shit together, our college decisions had already been made.

"Then come with me, Bella! I don't want to go anywhere without you, don't you realize that?"

"I can't, Edward. I want to, but I can't."

"I know," he murmured, running his fingers through his long, beautiful hair, which was his classic sign of anxiety. He did this a lot when we talked about college, which wasn't often. Edward put a lot of effort into avoiding the subject.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to spoil this night for us."

He smiled weakly. "Nah, it's okay. At least you have the balls—er, whatever—to talk about it. I pretend the issue doesn't exist."

"I'd visit you every weekend if I could," I said, realizing how pitiful I sounded.

He sighed, taking my hand in his. "Just promise me, Bella. Promise me you'll enjoy college."

"I can't without you."

"You can. You will."

"This sounds like a good-bye!" I cried in a voice that sounded high, shrieky, and pathetically childish.

"Bella, listen to me," Edward said, his gaze intense and unwavering. "You can't even begin to comprehend how often I will think of you, how fucking badly I'll miss you every second of every day. And I'll call you like the pussy-whipped boyfriend I am, because I love you and I'll miss you and I won't be able to function without hearing your voice. And maybe, someday, you'll get sick of it and move on—"

"Edward!"

"Listen. It doesn't matter. Just don't forget that I will always want to be with you, no matter what happens. And if distance and life and toolish college guys get in the way, I'll understand," he said softly. "I know you'll come back to me."

"How could you possibly think I would ever want to leave you, Edward?" I said, my eyes blurry with tears. I felt them on the brim of my lower eyelids, but I resisted the urge to brush them away. I wanted them to fall. I wanted him to see how wrong he was. How I would never, ever leave him.

He reached up with his free hand, brushing my hair from my face and tucking it behind my ear. I was staring down at the floor, but I could feel his eyes on mine, taking in the tears and the frown and the devastated expression on my face.

"Don't ever be afraid, Bella. Not about us," he said, but his voice was soft and almost shaky. He cupped my chin with his hand and turned me to face him. As he did so, I felt the tears stream down my face onto my shirt, darkening the fabric. I still couldn't look at him. I wasn't sobbing or choking or breathing hard, but I was crying—probably harder than I ever had before.

"Bella," he said, leaning into me. "Bella, look at me."

I shook my head in silence, staring so hard at a speck on the floor that I thought for sure I'd burn a hole in it. He sighed heavily, his face just inches from mine. He waited until I looked up, as he knew I would.

"You have _nothing_ to be sad about. This will all work out the way it's supposed to," he said, much more firmly now.

I nodded, forcing myself to stop this ridiculous breakdown. "I sometimes wish we had met ten years later," I mumbled. "So we wouldn't have to deal with this."

"Really?" he said, but his eyes were playful. "I think I'd rather have ten intermittent years of you than ten years of nothing."

"What if it turns into ten years of nothing?" I pressed, still fixated on the thousand mile divide that was about to come between us.

"I can guarantee that won't happen," he said.

"How?"

"I have a plan."

"Uh oh," I said, tempted to roll my eyes. "You and your plans."

"Well, last year's plan turned out pretty well, I'd say," he said, with a satisfied smirk on his face.

"True," I conceded. Jasper still brought up the infamous Plan that brought us together every time we played Asshole. "So…what's the plan?"

"I'm still hammering out the details," he teased.

"Edward! You're so mean sometimes," I whined, but my tone was playful. Edward was brooding and moody and irritable at times, but he was never mean. The only time he was truly unhappy was when I was unhappy.

"I know," he said. "But you deserve it. I mean, look at you, you're crying on our honeymoon! If D-man has a camera in all his rooms, he must be thinking we're off to a pretty fucked up start."

"Mr. Denali knows we're not on our honeymoon," I said, although for not the first time this weekend, I wished we were.

"I bet we could convince him otherwise," he said. His crooked smile spread across his face, the one that was so uniquely Edward, so shy and genuine and beautiful.

"Oh?" I said, my eyebrows raised, my voice teasingly oblivious.

"Mmhm," he murmured.

"Maybe you should demonstrate," I replied, but my voice was already quivering with anticipation. I _wanted_ this to be my wedding night. I wanted to be in my long, elegant white dress, sitting here not as Edward's girlfriend, but as his wife. I knew that desire raged somewhere in my eyes; I knew he could sense it as well as I could. But this would have to do, for tonight.

"Well, first," he said, standing up. "I would tell my beautiful bride that our first dance, while nice, wasn't the same with a hundred people staring at us. And our first kiss, while also very nice, was a little nerve-racking in front of such a large crowd."

"Hmm," I mused, looking at up at him from my position on the bed. I stood up slowly as he pulled me toward him, bringing me close so that I could feel his chest rise and fall against me. I was breathing quickly now, and I was waiting for him to move, to say something. He breathed deeply into my hair, and I felt my body tense, quivering with anticipation. Usually I just threw myself at him like the hormone-driven creature I was, but sometimes Edward liked to slow things down, to test my limits. He had that power over me, and he used it often, and he used it well.

He kept one of my hands in his, and moved the other to its familiar place around my waist. I finally looked up at him, and his face was radiant, but expression was inscrutable. His eyes were the most brilliant green, deep and penetrating and mysterious. I took in a ragged breath and my face lit up like a fireworks display, as I realized with utter mortification how obviously aroused I was. I wouldn't be the one teasing him tonight.

"So, Bella" he said softly. "Will you dance with me?"

I just smiled and nodded, like the complete smitten idiot I was. I was a ridiculously inept dancer, but in Edward's arms, I was just…his. And I was good at that.

We moved slowly, languidly, to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. I let him lead me, moving in rhythm with his body and his slow, deliberate steps. He was so close and warm and real, and I was content to just melt into him and forget about all the other shit going on in our lives.

"I love you, Edward," I murmured against his chest.

"I know," he said, breathing into my hair and pulling me closer. "I love you more than you could possibly imagine."

I gasped at the slight urgency in his touch, and I realized that neither one of us was really dancing anymore. I registered the look on his face and stood on my toes and pulled him down to me, giving in to a slow, deep kiss that spread like fire through every one of my nerve endings. I was feeling my own urgency now; I threw my whole body into him, gripping his hair tightly and forcing him into me. I heard a low moan in his throat as I crushed myself against him with everything I had.

"Glad the wedding party didn't see this," he said breathlessly when I pulled away, desperate for air. His lips were red and swollen and wet from my all-out assault, which made me want him even more. I barely gave him a chance to register my sly, devious smile that told him how much I wanted this, wanted him.

His easy smile turned serious as he felt me push him gently back toward the bed, easing him onto the downy blue comforter. He watched as I pulled his shirt over his head, slowly but deliberately. I admired the perfect curves of his chest, the smooth, damp skin that I explored with my fingers. Then I removed my own shirt in much the same fashion—slowly, calculatingly, so that I could see him respond to me before my eyes. His eyes widened slightly and his breathing quickened, and if I had been so bold as to look a little further south, I would have seen some very telling evidence of his reaction to me. But I always got a little shy at this point, when the clothes came off and I found myself dictating things, because I never felt like I knew what I was doing. But this time I resolved to push through all that insecurity bullshit, and show Edward that I loved him, that I would never leave him, that he was mine and I was his…

I pushed him gently again and he sat on the bed, leaning backwards on the fabric. I climbed up onto his lap and straddled him with my legs, feeling him right where I wanted him, kissing him slowly as I shifted my weight against the very noticeable bulge in his pants. He moaned as I did that, which he followed by grabbing my hips and generating a steady rhythm that made me yelp a little bit, because I wasn't expecting that.

And so now we were both in control, sort of, but I wanted more and he wanted more and this always seemed to happen when it was just the two of us, away from everyone and everything else. I was panting now, and I was impossibly wet and aroused and I was so annoyed at myself for wearing jeans. I needed more friction than this; soon, the ache down there would turn into an all-out throbbing.

I was still devising a plan for removing the rest of my clothes when Edward suddenly shifted me off his lap and threw me—gently but aggressively—onto the bed and hovered over me, so that our bodies were no longer touching. I almost whined in frustration, like a spoiled child that was being deprived of something she really, _really_ wanted.

"Edward," I whimpered.

"Don't worry, love," he said. "I'm not neglecting you."

And then he unbuckled my jeans and pulled them down, and I was lying beneath him in the rather inconsequential clothing that remained. I wanted to rip it off for him, but that would probably make him wonder what happened to shy, demure Bella. She was still here, but she was often overpowered by lusty, hormonal Bella at times like these.

"I don't want to neglect you either," I replied, undoing the buckle on his jeans and pulling them down as he did the rest. His boxers had my college logo on them, a herd of little bulldogs, and I giggled.

"You'll pay for that," he growled. He bent his head toward my face, but instead of kissing me on the mouth as I had expected, he began trailing his lips all over my face and neck, up and down the skin that was now covered in a thin sheen of sweat, over my collarbone and down to the edge of my bra. He danced over the skin with his hot, ragged breath, and I grabbed him by the hair, begging for more. I wanted him on me instead of around me; I wanted that silly piece of underwear gone.

So, as I expected, given the intensity of the hair pulling and the wild bucking of my hips, he unclasped my bra and took my breasts in his mouth, kissing and biting and sucking, driving me insane. I moved my hand from my side to take his cock in my hand, to reciprocate just a little bit, but he swatted it away with a growl.

"One thing at a time," he said huskily.

Then he continued his kissing assault on my wet, writhing body, finding the edge of the cottony fabric and biting it gently, teasingly. I moaned again, louder this time, wanting him to continue but needing him to stop, because I needed to tell him that I didn't want to come this way…

"Edward," I managed to gasp, finding his arm with my hand.

He mumbled something, but didn't stop. He finally removed the last of my clothing and slid it slowly down my legs, over my knees and ankles and tossed the little sliver of fabric into a corner.

"Edward," I said more loudly this time, although my head was so clouded with the smell and feel and sight of him that I couldn't exactly think straight.

"I don't want…you to do this…tonight," I gasped, meaning the truly divine talent Edward possessed for using his tongue in certain places.

He probably had an idea this conversation was coming, but I didn't think he expected it at this very moment. And, yes, it was poorly timed, but I had been distracted before, and I had to say it now because I wanted it now. I had wanted it for a long time, but we had waited, because we were young and Edward was a very patient, practical person. He was certainly a lot more patient than I was.

"Then what _do_ you want?" he asked, hovering over my naked form as he studied my expression.

"You know what I want, Edward," I said, my voice firm but also anxious, waiting for his reaction.

"I want us to…have this…before you go away," I continued. And it was true. I wanted Edward to have all of me, in every physical and emotional way, before he went to another place and my company was replaced by that of strangers.

"Are you sure, Bella?" he asked, slight concern creasing his face. I was kind of glad that Edward took sex so seriously; his dad was a doctor, after all, and he must have gotten quite a few stern lectures on the subject. But I think he waited for me for other reasons. I think he wanted it to mean something much more than the act itself.

"Edward," I murmured. "How could there possibly be any doubt of that?"

I wrapped my hands gently around the back of his neck, pulled him to me and kissed him delicately, wordlessly. I loved him and wanted him and I didn't need to tell him that; of course he already knew.

"Okay," he said, as I broke the kiss and fell back again onto the bed. "But I didn't bring—"

"I'm on the pill," I said.

"You are?" he cocked an eyebrow, scrutinizing my shy smile.

"Um…anticipatory precautions," I explained.

He smiled in spite of himself, shaking his head slightly.

"Well, that's good," he said. "But I'm going to continue what I was doing….because the rest of it probably won't be all that great for you." He winced a bit, anticipating what a first time was like for a girl. I had heard all kinds of things from Alice and even Rosalie, but I had a feeling they were giving me a watered-down version.

"But—" I started.

"Don't argue with me, Bella," his tone playful but firm.

And then he kissed me quickly and raked his hands along the length of my body, following with his mouth and lips and tongue. He spent a considerable amount of time at the expanse of skin where my legs ended and my core began, which of course tortured and thrilled me all at once. I moaned his name softly, biting my lip to keep from crying out. I was so used to keeping my mouth shut in our houses that it never occurred to me how alone we really were, how I could scream at the top of my lungs and no one but the wildlife would hear me.

As I pondered the wildlife in a desperate attempt to stave off my climax because I wanted this to last, he suddenly thrust his tongue directly onto the bundle of nerves that was now hot and wet and sensitive as hell, and I let go of my bottom lip and gave in to myself. His name came out in a husky, throaty plea that intensified his efforts as he massaged my clit with his tongue, penetrating me with his fingers as I groaned in pleasure. I strengthened my grip on his shoulders and ran my fingers through his hair, bucking my hips wildly as I felt this incredible tension build between my legs. I could feel myself nearing the edge and I wanted to prolong it, to delay it like I always did, but it was hopeless and I came exactly when Edward wanted me to, caressing me with his tongue as I rode out wave after wave of sweet release. I didn't have Edward's taste for obscenities, but fuck, that was _good_.

I took a few seconds to restore my ability to form coherent thoughts, and then I grinned at the satisfied look on his face. I was still dizzy with lust and ecstasy and all that other good stuff that only comes from mind-blowing oral sex, but I wasn't going to waste the moment. I grasped Edward by the shoulders and crushed him into me, pleased to feel him harder than ever, his cock throbbing against my leg as I arched into him. I smiled devilishly, and then wrapped my hand around the length of him. I didn't have any basis for comparison, but he was ridiculously huge in my hand, and a hint of worry worked its way into my head as I wondered how something that massive could fit into such a tiny opening. Edward must have seen it in my face, because he caressed my cheeks with his thumb and brushed the wet hair from my eyes.

"I can stop anytime, Bella," he said softly, his gaze steady and intense.

"I'm okay," I said, catching my breath. I smiled and kissed him sweetly, hungrily.

I shifted my hips so that I could feel the tip of him against my clit, reawakening my arousal and my need for him. I could see how we fit together; I could feel it in the way I ached and throbbed and begged for him. He groaned heavily as I guided him into me, slowly, decisively. I gasped a little bit at the pressure, then winced when I felt him push into me. He hesitated, but I strengthened my hold on him and urged him to continue, to enter me freely and completely because I wanted all of him inside me. And I knew he was holding back and for once, I wanted Edward to let go of his infallible composure and lose himself in me.

He responded to my touch with a harder, deeper thrust. A little whimper escaped my throat, but I knew that he was inside me now, that the most intense of the pain had passed and there was no reason to hold back anymore. I gripped him even harder, digging my fingertips into his skin, granting him deeper, fuller entry. I challenged him and he responded, filling me to the hilt, then pulling back and thrusting again, and again. Soon he found a steady, slow rhythm that I easily matched, arching into him to feel as much of him inside me as I possibly could. I suddenly wanted more, as I always did, and I grabbed him by the ass, forcing a deeper connection. He moaned, taking in the mischievous little grin on my face.

Wordlessly, he found a different rhythm that was frenzied, intense, and hot as all hell. He was making love to me, which I felt in the way he looked at me, touched me, kissed me. But he was fucking me, too, and I liked it. A lot.

I could tell, though, that Edward was holding back because he probably remembered the grimace of pain on my face, but that was okay. There would be more opportunities for no-holds-barred fucking. But for now I was still getting used to the sensation of him, the sheer size of him, inside me, and the sight of him driving into me like the man I craved, and loved, and wanted constantly. I noticed his breaths coming in quick gasps now, his pace quicker, his penetration deeper. I knew what was coming and I responded with a faster rhythm, arching my hips into his and watching him approach his own release.

When it came, his whole body shuddered as his pace suddenly slowed and I felt him deep inside me, gripping my waist tightly as he filled me completely and maximized his release. I was trembling, too, and this incredible euphoria filled me unlike anything I had ever felt before. I was with the man I loved and this was all I wanted, all I had ever wanted. I felt safe and loved and lucky, like all the shitty things that had happened in my life up till now kind of made sense, and they were okay because it led me to this moment. I smiled because I knew I had waited my whole young life for this. And some people waited and waited, and never found it. Some people didn't know what they were waiting for. I couldn't imagine life like that.

Edward was lying on his side next to me, his arm draped over my stomach, his face in the stray wisps of my hair.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked, and I turned toward him, taking in his beautiful, contented face and his scorching, brilliant eyes.

"I don't know," I said, which was kind of true. I was having a moment, that's for sure.

"I guess I was thinking of my fifth birthday party, the one my parents got together for a weekend and took me out for pizza."

I saw his face fall slightly, and he looked a bit perplexed.

"Hmm," he mused. "Why would you be thinking that?"

"I was thinking about how I didn't think life could get any better than that," I said simply.

"Oh?" he said. And my smile widened and I knew he was on to me.

"But, I mean, that day kind of sucked compared to this one."

"Is that so?" he asked, tracing his fingers up and down my abdomen as a smile spread across his lips.

"I would say so," I replied, teasing his hair with my fingers. "But good things don't seem to last."

My smile faded a bit, as I remembered our earlier conversation and the impending doom of college. As much as I hated to think about it, especially now, especially when I had attained a state of happiness that I never even thought possible, I could only focus on its being taken away from me.

"Well, I do have a plan, remember," he said.

"So you've hammered out those details?" I asked teasingly. I sincerely doubted he even had a plan, much less a detailed one.

"I have," he said. His tone and expression were so serious that I began to feel intrigued. I waited for him to continue, still unsure if he was just messing with me.

"I told you I would rather see you intermittently than not at all," he murmured, stroking my face with his thumb. "So, at the very least, I'll see you here once a year, every year, this time, this place. And probably doing much of the same thing," he said, smiling his crooked smile.

I studied his face, reading the meaning in his eyes. His expression was genuine, heartfelt.

"But how…?" I trailed off, considering the plan.

"We'll find a way, Bella. No matter what we're doing, who we're with, where we are…we'll find a way to come back here. And if one of us doesn't come some year, then that'll be it."

"But of course we'll come. We'll still be together."

"Bella, just humor me here. It doesn't matter what's going on the other 363 days of the year. I'm just setting up a plan so that for 2 days, no matter what, I get to see you."

"Hmm," I said, considering it.

"In fact, I'm keeping the old rule. No discussion of outside lives, people, things, places, jobs, whatever. And of course, when we get home, we can't talk about this place."

"I struggle with that rule," I said weakly.

"I know you do, and that's okay. A little slippage is not a big deal," he teased.

I considered the idea in silence, resisting the urge to determine some logistics and figure out how the hell I would be able to make it all the way up here on some random days in August every year. And I wasn't even sure if Edward was serious, but it definitely didn't sound like a joke. Plus, I liked the idea of revisiting this place and these memories for, well, the rest of my life.

"Okay," I said. "Same place and time next year, then?"

He kissed me on the forehead, then lay back down on the pillow, pulling me into the crook of his neck. His body was so close, so warm; I loved the feel of it, the absolute absence of solitude. I realized that if I stayed here, I would never feel lonely again.

"Yes," he whispered, pulling the covers over us as the breeze fluttered through the window. "Same time next year."

----

**Oh jeez, I'm such a sap. Please review, it would mean a lot to me (and thank you to those who have been!). **


	10. Chapter 10: August 13, 2011

**A/N**: I tend to write more when I don't feel like studying. So here's another update, a lot sooner than I expected. Also, don't be deceived by the early part of this chapter...heh heh.

Thanks to those of you who have reviewed and/or favorited and/or put me on story alert. I'm glad you're enjoying this!

Also, I'm thinking of starting a story that is kind of an extension of my one-shot (The Right Diagnosis), since I've had a few requests for that. If you have any ideas for it, let me know! I may start it this weekend.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight, but I have an irrational hope that Rob will someday show up in my ER.

***

**CHAPTER 10 – AUGUST 13, 2011**

**EPOV**

It felt so good to be back in my beloved Volvo, windows down and music blaring. The air was cold and wet, but I didn't give a shit; I missed my car and the freedom that came with it. Carlisle had somehow convinced me to leave it behind when I left for college, which had definitely been a mistake. I savored the rush of air as I floored the gas and broke every speed limit like it was my fucking job, because I had a thing for speeding—for getting to some places and getting away from others. I was still trying to figure out which of those things this weekend was.

I forced the thought out of my mind as I raced along Interstate-5, keeping an eye out for stray cops. The rain was falling harder now, but I hardly noticed. And while I never would have admitted it a year ago, or any point during my childhood in Forks, I almost missed these dreary, rainy days. California was nice, but even the constant sun got on my nerves at times. I felt like I hadn't even earned summer after months of warm, sunny weather; in Forks, we deserved those rare nice days. So I guess, after a year in California, I should have expected this wet, shitty mess.

When I felt the rain pelting my arm, I rolled up the windows and quickly realized how utterly deafening the music was. I glanced over at my cell phone on the front seat, checking for any missed calls or text messages. There were none. I picked it up and turned the damned thing off, deciding that I really shouldn't be worrying about Bella right now. I would worry about that when I got there.

***

Three hours and a nasty fish filet sandwich later, I was stepping off the ferry onto the familiar, rickety dock that would lead me to the little office on the top of the hill. The boards creaked as I walked, even more so than usual because the rain was coming down in sheets, and I thought briefly about how unfortunate it would be if I slipped. I thought of Emmett and chuckled, recalling his deathly fear of water, boats, and narrow docks. He had gone on a cruise for spring break this year, and said that the constant distraction of bikinis and margaritas had cured him. I didn't find that so hard to believe.

Umbrellas weren't really my thing, so I was soaked by the time I reached the front door. I pulled the hood from my head and glanced around the room, scanning it for a familiar face. I saw one, but it wasn't the one I had hoped to see.

"Ah, Mr. Cullen," came the cheery voice in its thick Canadian accent. "Welcome back. Checking in?" he asked.

"Uh, yes," I said, feeling panic rise in my throat at the thought that Bella hadn't yet arrived. She always arrived first…to dinner, to parties, to bed...okay, often I was first to that one. But if she was late, it meant she wasn't coming at all. I swallowed hard and forced a smile.

"We did some renovations of the honeymoon suite last spring," he commented as he found my name on the computer before I even had time to think. From the look of the technology on his desk, it seemed that someone had done a lot of renovating.

"Oh," I said, forcing a casual tone. I was still fixated on Bella, wishing this guy would cut the small talk so I could go call her or find her or do something. "Like what?" I asked politely.

"Just a few things," he said. "You'll see. I hope your stay is even more comfortable and pleasant than it has been the last two years."

I had to give Denali credit for his impressive recall. When we checked out last year, we had mentioned to him that in the future, we wanted to reserve the room under both our names, always on the same date. If he thought it was strange at the time, he never said anything.

"I'm sure it will be," I said, thanking him as he handed me one room key. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and headed toward the door, feeling my heart racing in my chest as I debated my next course of action. Where the hell was she? Was I a complete idiot to come here?

But the worst thought of all was the one I had suppressed all the way up here, despite my desperate attempts to drown it out with that fucking music. A part of me expected Bella not to come, for a thousand different reasons. And I hated to think about each and everyone of them.

"Oh, and Mr. Cullen?" Denali called, his voice grating on my ears at this point. I really felt like I was going to scream.

"Yeah?" I responded, turning around.

"Ms. Swan is waiting for you in the dining room."

I wondered if he heard my sigh of relief from all the way across the room; hell, he probably had, but I didn't care. I smiled in spite of myself and changed course toward the dining room, where the light was seeping in through the cracks of the large oak doors.

"Thanks," I muttered, and I opened the doors slowly, cautiously. The room was bathed in a warm, muted light, in sharp contrast to the storm that raged outside. I glanced around the empty dining room, until my eyes rested on a table in the corner, where Bella sat, watching the steady rain as it fell. When she heard the click of the door behind me, she seemed to snap out of her trance, and her gaze found mine. She smiled, warm and beautiful and kind of forlorn, as though I had distracted her from a very happy memory. All of that panic and fear and doubt from before completely vanished, at least for the moment, and I walked slowly toward her, my smile widening as I took in her stunning, delicate features.

"I'm sorry I'm late," I said, pulling her into my arms, breathing in the thick scent of strawberries in her hair.

"It's okay," she replied. She ran her fingers through a few strands of my hair and kissed me sweetly, and I savored the taste of her on my lips. But she didn't linger there; she pulled away slowly, carefully, and then she sat down again. I took the seat across from her, resting my bag on the floor.

"You're soaking wet," she said, a little frown settling on her lips.

"I forgot my umbrella."

"Sure you did," she smirked, but there was a hesitancy in her features. Her usual playfulness was muted—not gone, but not entirely there, either.

All of the things I had wanted to say to Bella while driving up here, while thinking about us, had been forgotten at the sight of her. I missed her so fucking much; I hated college for driving us apart, for making the distance so difficult for the both of us. There were a million different things I wanted to discuss regarding that very issue, but I couldn't bring myself to do it now. I was here with her, finally, and that was all my brain could process. It was all I wanted to process.

For once, though, I couldn't read her subdued expression. I could see sadness in her eyes, a longing or regret or something similarly unpleasant that I couldn't exactly place. I had a feeling it had everything to do with me, with us, but I didn't want to talk about it now. I did, but I didn't. If Bella wanted to talk about it, I figured she would eventually.

"I missed you, Edward," she said softly, taking my hands in hers. "I don't see you often enough."

"You'll see me for forty-eight hours straight," I replied. "You'll probably be sick of me by the end of it."

I was trying to be light-hearted, but it was a weak attempt. I could never tire of her, and I hoped she knew that.

"If that were true, my life would be a whole lot easier," she said, but her voice was small, vulnerable.

"Then let's make the best of the time we have," I said, tightening my hold on her tiny hands, burning my eyes into hers. "I don't want to waste another minute on the fact that our minutes are limited."

The sadness was still there, but her chocolate eyes brightened a bit.

"I'm sorry, Edward," she said, glancing back down at the table. "It's just that every time I see you, I think about not seeing you. And I really _hate_ not seeing you."

"I know. But you're seeing me now, so that's it. End of discussion. Let's enjoy ourselves and this beautiful weather," I smirked.

She smiled and rolled her eyes, just as the room shook with a massive roll of thunder. She jumped a little in her seat.

"I hate loud, booming noises," she grumbled.

"But you seem to like fireworks," I commented.

She groaned. "Fireworks? That's the cheesiest pun I've ever heard."

"Oh," I said. "It wasn't a pun, but someone's mind is in the gutter. And for once, it's not me."

"Your mind is always in the gutter."

"It probably seems like that when we're here," I said, pulling her hands toward me, leaning in so that our faces were almost touching. "I can't keep my hands off you."

"Well, then. Shame on you, Edward," she teased.

"Doesn't the dining room close at eight?" I asked, glancing around the deserted room, resting my eyes on Bella as she studied the devious little smile on my lips.

"Mr. Denali let me in here to wait for you," she said simply, but I could hear the challenge in her voice.

"And doesn't he retire to his…lair, or whatever it is, when the dining room closes?"

"Maybe," she purred.

"I think we should lock it up for him, don't you think?" I suggested hoarsely. I was already getting hard, inhaling the sweet, intoxicating scent of her skin so close to mine.

I stood up and flicked off the lights behind me, shrouding the room in darkness. The only illumination came from the little lights along the cabin paths, which streamed in through the open windows. The rain pounded against the glass, masking the sound of Bella's racing heart and shallow breaths. It was a small room, with just a few little tables and old wooden chairs; I knew they wouldn't withstand what I was about to do.

"Well," she said. "You did a fine job of locking up."

She gave me a mischievous little grin and started heading toward the door, but I grabbed her arm as she passed me by. I pulled her toward me roughly and pinned her against the wall, closing the distance between us. She responded with a little gasp as her breath caught in her throat. A delicate pink flushed her cheeks, and her smirk was gone, replaced by a serious, intent expression that was giving way to something that looked a hell of a lot like lust.

"Where do you think you're going?" I demanded.

"Kiss me, Edward," she said, looking into my eyes, arching her hips into mine. I responded quickly, obediently, kissing her hard and fast and deep. I thrust my hips into hers, my cock hard as a fucking rock. She gasped at the contact, feeling me so hard against her, and gripped the fabric of my shirt as she responded in a steady, pulsing rhythm. She demonstrated her need by arching into me, then reached down to remove my belt as quickly as her little fingers could manage. She loosened it from my pants and tossed it to the floor, the buckle clanging on the floorboards. Fuck. If Denali was still at his desk…

But I immediately stopped caring about that when Bella reached into my boxers and exposed me to the chilly air, but her warm little hand mitigated that effect pretty fucking fast. She gripped me _hard_ and ran her hand along the shaft, eliciting a deep groan from me when she massaged the tip with her fingers.

Shit, I missed the feel of her—her tiny little hand, her smooth skin, her delicate touch. I hissed in pleasure and shoved her up against the wall, and my aggression took her by surprise. She was wearing a thin, flowing skirt that I hiked up to her waist, gaining access to the intense heat and moisture that was coming from between her legs. She was so fucking wet, and my cock quivered with anticipation. I didn't even want to deal with the sliver of fabric that was now completely soaked through, so I slipped it off her hips and threw it somewhere I hoped I would remember later. I didn't think Denali would really appreciate that lacy number in his dining room.

As soon as it was gone, she did a little jump and wrapped her legs around my waist, pinning herself between me and the wall. I couldn't have her just sitting there, perched on my dick, so I responded to her maneuver just as I'm sure she had intended, thrusting into her so fucking hard that she seemed to stop breathing altogether for a few seconds. Once she caught her breath, she whimpered and moaned and breathed my name, clenching my back so tightly that I was sure I'd be bloody tomorrow. I obviously didn't give a shit though. I wanted some pain from this encounter. I wanted it to be as fucking real and physical and raw as it could possibly be.

I was thrusting hard, _very_ hard, feeling the wall vibrate with each stroke as I drove into her. I teased her breasts, nibbling and sucking them, making her cry out as I stimulated every nerve ending that I knew so well. I couldn't reach her clit from here, so I focused on the angle of my thrusts and the sensation in her breasts, so that she and I could reach a release we both so desperately needed. I was dangerously close to that point, but I focused on the blank wall and away from her lovely, perfect face, and the sight of her full breasts gently bouncing in rhythm with my thrusts. Even though she was impossibly tight to begin with, I could feel her muscles tense and her little body begin to shudder, and she whimpered loudly as she came.

It wasn't long before I found my own release, explosive as fuck, and I filled her completely as the last waves of her orgasm blended with mine.

She was weak in my arms, and I struggled to stand after that frenzied, incredible encounter. I loved wall fucks. They didn't happen often, but Bella seemed to be at one with the wall; she called herself clumsy, but she was nimble as all hell when it came to walls.

She smiled languidly as I set her gently on the floor, smoothing the bottom of her skirt as she replaced the straps on her shoulders. I didn't even remember pulling those down, but I just had to get to those delectable tits, and apparently, I had managed that. I kissed the top of her head and studied her beautiful, smiling face, committing it to memory, and to the dreams I never had.

***

After Bella and I sufficiently recovered and scrounged some food from the kitchen, we walked to our cabin through the dark, rainy night. The porch light was on, as it always was, and I followed Bella inside as she placed her key on the table. I looked around for obvious signs of renovations, namely a television or phone or maybe even some wireless internet. No such luck. The place had all the amenities of my great-grandmother's kitchen.

"It's beautiful," Bella sighed, taking in the room. Clearly I had missed something.

"Uh…" I said, searching her face for answers.

"The skylights," she said. "I bet you can see the stars so clearly up here."

"Something tells me we won't be seeing them this weekend," I mused.

"Perhaps, not," she said. "But it gives us something to look forward to."

She smiled at me knowingly as she turned and walked across the room toward the bathroom. Something to look forward to? I liked the sound of that.

"Oh!" she gasped, as she disappeared into the bathroom.

I decided to investigate, hoping and praying that the outdoor shower was no longer outdoors. I was a little stunned when I came up behind Bella, surveying the room from my view over her shoulder.

"It's nice," she said, and my mouth fell open a little bit. The tiny sink and toilet had given way to newer, whiter fixtures, and a large, modern-looking shower took up the corner. And then there was a door leading out the bathroom, down a tiny little path toward…well, we couldn't see where exactly it led. But I had an idea.

I wrapped my arms around her waist, hugging her back into my chest. She responded with a quick little gasp.

"Hmm," I whispered into her ear. "I wonder where that path leads."

"I don't know," she said. "Maybe we should find out."

She opened the door and led the way through the softly falling rain, but our destination was just a few feet from the door. She stopped at the foot of a covered, steaming hot tub; apparently Denali understood a few things about the appeal of underwater sex. At least, that's exactly what I thought about when I saw Bella standing there in the rain, admiring the most recent addition to the honeymoon suite.

She leered at me, reading the look on my face.

"I think we may have to test this out later," I said, but my voice was a little huskier than I had expected.

"I agree," she said with a smirk. "But I think we both need some sleep first."

I had to admit my eyes were drooping from the long ride, and I nodded as she took me by the hand and walked back inside. We were both soaking wet, but instead of going for one of the towels, she just stripped off all her clothes and watched in amusement as my mouth fell open. She stood in there in silence, and her eyes smoldered as she waited for my reaction. It wasn't long before I was pitching a very noticeable tent in my pants.

So I did what I had to do. I followed her lead and removed every last piece of soaked clothing, including my boxers, which I kicked into the corner with a loud smack against the wall. She giggled, but her eyes were intense and focused.

"I think I'm ready for bed now," she said, her voice as demure and seductive as a virginal bride.

"We're not going to get much sleep like this," I uttered hoarsely.

She climbed in one side of the bed, while I stood at the other. She was under the lush blue covers, but I knew what was under there. Little Ed _definitely_ knew what was under there.

"Come here," she said.

I wanted to savor the moment for just a bit longer, that image of Bella under the covers, her wet hair sprawled across the white pillowcases. I liked it because I was the only one who had the privilege of seeing her that way. I felt like I finally understood what intimacy was.

I climbed into bed and lay on my side to face her. She was always on her side, her head resting gently on her hands, her eyes a luscious, exquisite brown. Her wet skin glistened in the faint light of the room, and I could feel the heat radiating from her body, trapped by the thick layers that covered us. I reached out to touch her, because I couldn't take it anymore.

She rolled over to her other side and wrapped my arm around her, so that her back was against my chest, her hair tickling my face. Bella was a huge fan of spooning, but we never called it that—it felt too natural to have a special name for it. Plus I loved the feeling of her ass in my crotch, and so did my cock. She knew it, too. I shuddered as she shifted into me, but I was determined to sleep if that was what she wanted to do. Unfortunately I was breathing very erratically, which wasn't very conducive to sleep either.

"Are you all right, Edward?" she asked, and I could tell she was messing with me. She really was a little vixen. My little vixen.

"Stellar."

I tried harder to slow my breathing and think of mind-numbingly dull topics like Denali's comb-over, but there wasn't much use. She inhaled deeply, and I took this to mean that she was falling asleep.

But then she reached up with her free hand, took my hand in hers, and guided it slowly down the expanse of her breasts and abdomen. She hesitated just below her navel, and my breath caught for a second as I registered her intentions. She resumed her path as far as she could go, pressing my fingers into the hot, deliciously wet opening between her legs. She was wet as fuck and I inhaled sharply, thrusting my fingers into her as a little punishment for teasing me.

She gasped as I began massaging her clit, taunting and stimulating her with my fingers. She wasn't expecting it when I thrust into her from behind, keeping my fingertips occupied. She was getting it from both sides and I knew she wouldn't last long, but that was okay. I wanted Bella to let go, to forget whatever sadness was hiding behind her eyes.

I penetrated her with a steady, deliberate rhythm, finding an easy pace that was slow and sensual and purely lovemaking. When she came, she shuddered in my arms, finding a release that came in waves, again and again and again. I filled her completely as I neared the edge and tumbled right over it, clutching her to me as I rode out my climax. I pulled out of her gently, but she stayed on her side, her soft breathing mingling with the sound of the rain.

"I love you, Edward," she whispered. "I will always love you."

***

When I opened my eyes, the room was completely dark except for the front porch light that came in through the space between the door and the floorboards. The rain was a gentle drizzle now, and it made a little pattering sound against the windowpanes. At first, this was the only sound I thought I heard, but when I pulled Bella closer to me, I could hear her soft, quiet sobs. She wasn't speaking, which was unusual, but the crying alarmed me. I shook her gently to wake her.

"Bella?" I said, leaning into her ear. "Wake up."

I heard her stop breathing as she swallowed a sob and cleared her throat. "I wasn't asleep," she murmured.

Wait, what? Bella was in my arms, crying her eyes out, for a very conscious reason? This was even more distressing than the nightmare scenario.

"Then why are you crying?" I asked.

She said nothing.

"Bella, look at me," I said, more loudly now. And I was definitely a hell of a lot more worried, too.

She rolled over slowly to face me, her eyes puffy and red and streaked with tears. Suddenly I felt sick when I realized I might have wronged her somehow. I would never forgive myself if that were the case. What could I possibly have done?

"Bella, say something," I pleaded. "Did I do something wrong?"

When she turned to look at me, I saw the sadness return in full force, clouding her brilliant brown eyes.

"No, Edward. Of course not," she said, tangling my hair in her fingers. "It's just that…"

She paused, glancing down at our intertwined fingers.

"I know I'm losing you," she whispered.

My heart stuttered and stalled at the sound of her words, which sounded so…final. So desperate. I needed to fucking fix this. Didn't I? Couldn't I?

"You're not losing me, Bella. Why would you ever think that?" I demanded.

"It's just life, Edward. It's you in California, and me in Washington, and everything in between. How can we be together when we're 1,000 miles apart?"

"We've been doing it, Bella. We've managed."

"Maybe you have, Edward," she said softly. "I can't manage without you."

I sighed, wondering what the fuck she wanted me to do. I felt a horrible, panicky feeling rise in my throat like bile. I tried to swallow it down.

"I don't know what we can do, Bella. I could transfer—"

"No, Edward. You can't drop everything for me," she said shakily. "I wouldn't let you."

"Then tell me what to do, Bella! Tell me how to fix this."

She looked at me with such sad, desperate intensity that I felt my entire body tense. I held her tighter because I didn't know what else to do.

"We can't fix this, Edward," she said, her voice soft, childlike even. "We can't fix it because it's broken."

"It isn't broken," I replied angrily, frantically. "How can it be broken when we can't live without each other?"

She had managed to stop the sobs, but the tears were still streaming down her face. I seriously couldn't stand this anymore. I couldn't take her looking at me like this, sad and powerless and completely fucking _resigned_. I felt my throat close up, and for the first time in a decade, maybe more, I was choking back tears.

"That's why. It's broken because I can't function without you. And I need to function, Edward. I need to live my life and you need to live yours."

"Bella, no," I said, and my voice sounded so weak and alien that I hardly recognized it. A piece of me, somewhere, way back there in the recesses of my mind, knew what she was saying and accepted it. Knew that if I loved her, I had to let her go.

***

**A/N: **My favorite scene in New Moon was the breakup. Followed closely by the reunion at the end, of course. Thanks again for reading!


	11. Chapter 11: August 13, 2012

**A/N:** I've finally figured out how each chapter from here on out is going to go, which is a good thing. I'm trying to keep it suspenseful, but it's not really that kind of story...it's more of a simple love story, told over time. But each chapter will definitely be different, with a major life event in each one.

Thanks to those who are reading, and if you get a chance, go vote in the SMC Contest - there are a lot of great stories there. Mine is a House/Twilight crossover, and it's a lot less angsty than this story. I'm going to start a full story (something medically related) this weekend.

Have a good weekend!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight, but I'm kind of glad right now because S. Meyer got pwned this week. Oh snap!

***

**CHAPTER 11 – AUGUST 13, 2012**

**BPOV**

Anticipation is a funny thing. It's a strange feeling, really, knowing that something is coming but having no idea what to expect. I felt that way now, walking along this familiar dock, but it wasn't a pleasant feeling. I had convinced myself every night for the last month that coming here was a terrible, stupid, insane idea. Just this morning, I was sitting in Charlie's kitchen, discussing my uneventful plans for the afternoon. I hadn't done the laundry, the truck's tank was empty, and the fridge and pantry were completely empty. This had all been part of the plan, of course. The plan to stay home this weekend, and to forget all about Edward Cullen.

But somehow, against every ounce of rational thought that I possessed, I was here. Walking along the dock in the waning sunlight, glimpsing the bright lights of the familiar inn a few hundred feet in the distance. I walked more slowly than I ever had before; I felt, in some ways, like I was moving backwards. I almost wished that were the case. I almost wanted to disappear.

The water was smooth as glass, and the sun was a brilliant, fiery red that fused with the horizon. If I had stopped to look, to think, I might have turned around, but I kept walking. I stumbled as I stepped off the dock, but unlike three years ago, there was no one here to catch me. And there hadn't been, for a long time.

As I neared the cabin, my heart started pounding in my chest, its steady, frantic rhythm pulsing in my ears. I was breathing faster, too, and I felt my nerves rise from the pit of my stomach and lodge somewhere in my throat. I knew this would happen, no matter how often I had convinced myself that Edward wouldn't come. I might have been stupid enough to show up here after months of complete silence, but there was no way Edward would do the same. He knew better than to torture himself, which was exactly what I was doing. Just being here, surrounded by all these memories, was torture.

I sighed deeply and resolved to finish what I had started, because stupidity and stubbornness went hand-in-hand in my book. And I certainly possessed both of those, at least when it came to my love life. God, I was such a fool. A pathetic, stupid fool.

As I opened the door, I stopped breathing for a second because that irrational piece of my mind was trying to convince me that Edward was inside. I felt ridiculous for even thinking it, and as I walked in, I wasn't sure if I was relieved or devastated to find an empty room. I inhaled deeply and walked slowly to the front desk.

Two seconds after I rang the little bell, Mr. Denali appeared with his usual friendly smile and warm blue eyes. His face comforted me for some reason, and I relaxed a bit. I managed a smile as he welcomed me like an old friend.

"Ms. Swan," he said. "It is so nice to see you again."

"Likewise," I replied, although I didn't really mean it. I didn't feel like seeing anyone at the moment, especially someone who reminded me of my happiest memories with Edward.

"How are things?" he asked.

"Good," I said. "Halfway through college."

"Ah," he mused. "The time goes by quickly, doesn't it?"

I nodded. It did, indeed. Too quickly.

"Your room is ready, so you can head down whenever you like. Dinner just ended, I'm afraid, but I can have Carmen fix something up for you."

"No, that's okay," I said hurriedly, determined to avoid the dining room at all costs. "I think I'll just go to my room."

"Very well. Here is your key, Ms. Swan. Have a very pleasant stay, and please let me know if there is anything I can do for you."

I wondered if maybe he could just put me out of my misery, before I could subject myself to any more torture. Somehow Mr. Denali didn't seem the type to do me any violent favors.

"Thanks," I mumbled. "I will."

I picked up my old, tattered backpack and began my long trek through the woods. The sun had set, and the path was lit by wooden lamp posts that guided me down the hill toward the water's edge.

When I reached the cabin, my heart fell a little bit at the sight of the dark interior. Somehow, the constant anxiety of the last month had finally faded into a subdued feeling of disappointment, like that feeling you get as a kid when your birthday is over. I had no reason to be disappointed, really; I wasn't expecting anything. I wasn't a kid at my own birthday party, crushed that it had ended and there were no more presents to open. This wasn't the end of anything, nor was it the beginning. It was somewhere in the middle, somewhere meaningless and insignificant. Like one of the thousands of days in my life I had completely forgotten.

Even so, I was having a hard time pulling myself together. So I told myself to get a fucking grip and take advantage of a nice, solitary weekend in a place that wasn't my closet-sized dorm room. I tossed my keys on the table and threw my bag on the floor, ignoring the sights and sounds of the room so that I could just breathe for a second.

I needed a shower. A good, long shower. Then I'd pass out on the bed and maybe leave in the morning if I felt like it. No one would know I was here, and no one would care.

I took my hair down and hopped in the shower quickly, because the room was cold and I was already chilled from that ferry ride. It took a few seconds for the water to heat up, but when it finally did, I felt the tension dissipate from my body in a wonderful, satisfying rush. Mr. Denali had apparently fixed the water heater, too, because I lost track of time as I stood there, savoring every drop like it was some kind of holy water. My thoughts cleared completely, and it was only when the water turned a frigid, bitter cold that I forced myself to step out.

I wrapped a towel beneath my arms and stood for a second at the mirror, looking for a sign—any sign, really—that these last three years had changed me somehow. I didn't see a difference, except for the jaded cast to my eyes and the frown that darkened my face. My hair was a little shorter, a little straighter; my skin was the same white, pale shade. I hadn't blushed in a while, though, which made me strangely nostalgic. Maybe I had outgrown it.

I sighed as I dismissed the reflection in the mirror, this image of me who was different but also the same. I hiked my towel up and walked out of the room, and as I turned off the light, I didn't even realize at first that the bedroom lights were on, and there was a figure sitting on the bed…

I stopped breathing when I registered Edward's presence in the room. But instead of reaching out to him, instead of saying something, I froze. I stood there in silence, aside from the drops of water that fell from my hair onto the wooden floor.

"Hey, Bella," he said, his eyes a scorching, unreadable green. His intense stare made it even harder for me to breathe, and impossible for me to speak.

"I, uh…I heard the shower, but I wasn't sure if I should wait outside…" he trailed off, and his voice was uncertain, uncomfortable. Like he was speaking to a stranger.

"It's okay," I managed. But at precisely the wrong moment, I thought of the first time Edward had seen me in a towel, which seemed like an eternity ago. Our relationship was so different then…but, in some ways, we had come full circle. I felt like I didn't know the man sitting on my bed, running his hand nervously through his hair as he apologized for being here. Seeing his beautiful face, hearing his velvet voice, I missed the Edward I had known and loved. I missed him and my heart broke all over again.

He fidgeted as he sat there, staring at the floor, saying nothing. I hadn't expected Edward to come. I hadn't thought about what would happen if he did. I felt unsettled and flustered and upset, and my eyes began to water. But there was no way in hell I would let Edward see me cry right now. I couldn't show him how deeply he affected me, even now, a year after I had pushed him away and out of my life.

"I don't know why I'm here," he said, almost in a whisper.

Neither did I, of course, but I couldn't admit that. A part of me knew that I had come because I still loved Edward, still missed him, still wanted him. But it was emotionally reckless of me to concede any of that.

I sighed, rooting my feet to the floor. I could feel a war raging in my mind, shredding my emotions and destroying every ounce of strength I had constructed over the past year. I had moved on, in many ways. I was a different person now. Wasn't I?

I stared at my bare feet, forcing myself to resist his gaze. I didn't know what to say; I had nothing to say. I wanted to run. I wanted to stay. I wanted everything, and I wanted nothing. But if I looked up, if I saw his emerald eyes and bronze hair and crooked smile, I would want it all.

"Do you remember the first time I saw you in a towel?" Edward asked, his voice a shade lighter than it had been. I did remember, of course. I was remembering it now.

"I'll never forget that," he said softly, almost to himself. "Seeing you now…it's like going back in time."

I wasn't even paying attention when two tears spilled onto my cheek, and I brushed them away quickly with my fingers. I was still staring at the floor, staring so hard that I thought my eyes might explode. I don't know what I was fighting against, exactly, but I knew that if I looked up, I would lose.

"It's okay, Bella. I know shouldn't have come. I just…I just wanted to see you, even for just a minute. I know it's selfish but I had to see you. I'm sorry. I'll go now."

The battle was lost and I didn't care. I should have realized that the moment I got in my truck and drove the five hours to get here. I should have realized it long before now, because he was heading toward the door and I was going to lose him all over again.

"Don't go, Edward," I said, but my voice was shaking. I finally looked up, meeting his gaze, begging him with my eyes to stay. "Please don't go."

"Bella—"

I didn't let him finish. I ran toward him, throwing myself into his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck with a desperate strength I didn't even know I had. He lifted me up as I hugged him, so that my feet were dangling in the air as he buried his head in my hair and kissed me softly. I was hugging him so hard that I wasn't sure I would ever be able to let go.

I wanted to say a million different things, to admit my mistakes and beg for his forgiveness. But I had broken him and us and I didn't feel that this moment, this place, was the right way to fix all that I had ruined. I wasn't sure there ever would be a right way, or any way at all. For now, it didn't matter. This was our time, our escape. We had our own, separate lives, and it would be wrong to tamper with them now.

As I breathed in the scent of his thick bronze hair and smooth, hard skin, I felt him pull away slowly. He placed me gently on the floor, and a sad, distant smile formed on his lips. I wondered if Edward would ever again smile the way he did for me, for only me. I couldn't expect him to, not after the events of the past year.

My face was wet, streaked with tears, and I was trying to catch my breath. Already I missed the feel of him. Already I craved him and wanted him and hated that he wasn't holding me anymore. Most of all, though, I hated the resignation in his eyes, like somehow, somewhere, he had given up.

So I made a decision. I took a step back, my eyes fixed on Edward's, and let my towel drop to the floor. I nearly rejoiced when the familiar heat rose in my cheeks, but I wasn't embarrassed. I knew exactly what I was doing.

I could see him struggling to keep his eyes on my face, but he somehow managed it. He was waiting for me to say something, but there really wasn't anything to say. I would stand there forever if I had to.

Finally, he took a cautious step toward me, taking my hand in his. He pulled me closer to him and breathed deeply. His other hand ran along the small of my back and I could feel my breath coming in quick, ragged gasps.

He said nothing, but I could feel his heart pulsing against mine. I wondered for the thousandth time what he was thinking, why he had come, why he wasn't pulling away. He must hate me for what I did. He must still feel that I betrayed him in the worst possible way. And maybe he was considering that in his head, waiting for the right time to pull back and tell me he never wanted to see me again.

I felt at that moment like I was coming completely undone, but Edward seemed to read my thoughts and suddenly he pulled my chin up with his fingers and commanded my attention. His eyes were smoldering but completely blank, and I opened my mouth to finally say something but he wouldn't let me, because his lips were on mine and this was happening, Edward was kissing me. He started slowly, cautiously, but I responded with such need and want that he soon deepened it, kissing me in all the right, familiar places. I brought my arms around his neck and crushed myself into him, and it was frantic and desperate but he answered me as I knew he would. I could feel his erection against my bare skin, and my stomach flipped as I inhaled sharply, aching in anticipation. I moaned softly and he began kissing me everywhere, along my jaw line and down my neck, resting briefly on my collarbone. I arched my back to grant him access and he responded eagerly, aggressively, taking my erect nipples in his mouth as he backed us up toward the bed and threw me down.

A low groan escaped his throat as he took in my naked, heaving frame on the bed. I knew he wasn't going to be gentle with me this time; I could see it in his eyes, his face, his smoldering expression. He was rock-hard against me and I wrapped my legs around him, giving myself some much-needed friction. I was hot and wet and I knew he knew it, because he was removing his belt and pulling down his jeans. They dropped to the floor and I had my hands on his shirt, and I pulled it off quickly as he found my skin with his lips and ravished me everywhere. I bit my lip as he sucked and bit the peaks of my breasts, and it was a good kind of pain, like I wanted it and deserved it and I wasn't going to fight it. I dug my nails into his back in response, which merely intensified his glorious assault on my body. His boxers were still on and I could feel the tip of him through the fabric, damp and pulsing and incredibly hard, meeting the space between my legs. I took him in my hand, eliciting a deep, low growl.

It wasn't long before the last of his clothing was removed and he penetrated me so hard, so deep, that I cried out when he drove into me farther than I thought possible. He knew this was how I wanted it, and this was how he gave it, hard and fast and completely relentless. The headboard clanged loudly against the wall, and for a second I was truly grateful that we were out here alone in the middle of the woods. I was biting my lip to keep from crying out, but soon I stopped giving a shit as Edward thrusted into me, his pace increasing, his breathing ragged. He was driving me toward a much-needed, much desired release, and I could feel it coming, could feel my muscles tightening in feverish anticipation.

When I came it matched the explosive, frenzied pace of Edward's thrusts, and I felt myself tumble over the edge in a breathless, staggering release. I was trembling as I rode out each of the waves, murmuring Edward's name as he exploded inside of me, punishing me with one final thrust that filled me completely. There was nothing remotely gentle about it. It was raw, relentless sex. It was Edward fucking me senseless because I wanted it, and because I deserved it.

He lay next to me on his back, eyes closed in thought, his breathing slowing. He had one arm over his forehead as he lay there in all his astonishing, almost inhuman beauty. His skin glistened with sweat, and I leaned in to him, placing my hand on his chest as it rose and fell with his breathing.

At the contact, he slowly opened his eyes and looked at me. So few words had been spoken between us, and even now, he merely sighed. I wanted to talk to him but I didn't know what to say. My body language had said quite a lot, but I still had no idea what Edward was thinking. The man I had once known everything about was now a stranger to me.

"Edward, say something," I said, my voice pleading. I knew I sounded desperate but I didn't want him to feel that this was wrong or inappropriate or his fault; I had approached him, I had instigated this.

"I don't know what to say, Bella," he said, and he sounded resigned, broken.

"Say what you're thinking! Please, Edward," I said, tangling my fingers in his damp, bronze hair. "We won't talk about our outside lives, I promise. I just want to know what you're thinking."

He cringed a little bit, and I thought I knew why, but there wasn't anything I could do about that now. This was all we had, this place, just the two of us. At least we had this.

"I came because I've missed you so much, Bella. Every day. Every minute. Every fucking second, I miss you."

He sighed, removing his gaze from mine, turning his head toward the window. My throat tightened at the silent rejection, but my head spun with the intensity of his words. If only he knew how much I missed him. If only he knew how wrong he was to think he was the only one.

"I miss you all the time, Edward," I whispered. "I think about you everyday, what you're doing, who you're with. And I hate myself for—"

"Bella," he said, turning to me, his eyes burning. "This wasn't your fault. I agreed with you, remember? I knew that this would happen and I told you it was okay. Life happens. I don't blame you for any of it."

"You don't?"

"No," he said, but his voice was distant, forlorn. "I blame the distance, the timing, the way life is sometimes. I don't blame you."

"I tried to forget about you," I confessed. "I tried to distract myself every way I could."

"It's okay, Bella. That was the right thing to do," he said, placing his hand on mine. "I want you to live your life without me."

"And it's also okay," he said, pausing for just a second, "that you're with someone else now."

"But Edward—"

"You can't spend your life alone. You're only 20."

"Is that…true for you, too?" I asked, although I really didn't want to know the answer.

"It doesn't matter," he murmured.

My heart stuttered at his words, as I considered the very real possibility that Edward was with someone else now. How could I possibly expect anything else, especially when I had rebounded so quickly? I wasn't in love with Jacob, but he was a necessary distraction, and he had come into my life when I needed someone the most. For months I had just sat in my room, drowning myself in my work and disappearing from life altogether. My friends never saw me, and I didn't care. I almost dropped out of school because I couldn't function. And then Jacob had appeared in my life one day and things got better after that. I never forgot about Edward, but it was a dull ache when I thought about him, instead of a sharp, searing pain of loss.

"Are you happy, Bella?" he asked me, his expression begging for honesty.

I looked down, unsure myself of the answer.

"Yes," I said. "I'm doing okay."

"Then that's all the matters. I'm happy if you are," he said, forcing a smile as he brushed my hair from my eyes.

"Are you happy?" I asked. Again, I wasn't sure what I wanted him to say.

"Most of the time," he said, and my heart fell a little bit. "I have ups and downs, like anybody else. But mostly things are up."

"That's good," I said, and I was surprised to hear the shakiness in my voice. Of course I was happy for him, but I was hopelessly sad, too.

"Do you see Emmett and Rosalie often?" I asked, trying to remember the last time I had seen them. It had been almost a year, sometime last summer before we all went back to school.

"I go to Emmett's games sometimes," he said. "And Rosalie is always there, cheering him on. Literally, I guess you would say."

"That's nice," I said, thinking of the one football game I had seen Emmett play in high school. I tried to avoid sporting events at all costs.

"How about Alice and Jasper?" he said. "How are they?"

"Good," I answered honestly. "I've visited them a few times in Seattle. They ask about you."

"Well, maybe someday I'll run into them again," he said in a small, nostalgic voice. "Jazz was a crazy fucker, but he was cool. And I do miss Alice a lot."

"You should look them up," I suggested. "They would love to hear from you."

"We're not supposed to talk about our outside lives, you know," he said, gently teasing me.

"True," I said. "But it was just a few questions. And they were very generalized."

"Okay. Then I won't punish you for them," he said, a tiny smirk on his face.

"Oh? And how were you planning to punish me?" I asked, my eyes brightening a bit at the bright, teasing look on his face. He was beginning to look like Edward again, at least the way I remembered him.

"Perhaps you will find out later," he said. "For now, I think you could use some sleep, my little seductress."

"I did not seduce you!"

"You did. But it's okay. I'm glad you did," he said, and the elusive crooked smile brightened his face. My heart swelled and I could feel my whole face light up.

"Oh, Edward," I sighed. "I've really missed you."

"I've missed you, too, Bella," he said, drawing me closer. "Let's agree to enjoy our two days, and to forget about everything else in that shitty world out there. Okay?"

"Okay," I said softly, resting my head on his chest, inhaling the scent of him.

"And Bella?" he asked, stroking my hair.

"Mmhm?"

"If you want to wear that towel all weekend, I'd be okay with that."

I smiled to myself, recalling the way this whole night—hell, this whole crazy thing—had started.

"I think I can do that," I said. "On one condition, though."

"And what is that?"

"That you make the same request next year."

He sighed deeply, and I wondered for a second if I had said the wrong thing. Was this the last year? Was this Edward's good-bye, but he didn't want to tell me?

"You can count on that, Bella," he said softly. "Next year, and every year."

***

**They are still broken up, of course. Or are they? It's all part of the fun.**


	12. August 13, 2013

**A/N**: Well, this chapter has some darker themes, but it's my favorite one so far. I wrote it all in a day, because it just felt right.

Thank you again to those who have been reviewing - if you haven't, please do so! It's a big motivator for me to see that people like it (I almost gave up on it this weekend, but...I gave in).

I started another story, so feel free to check that out too, if you have a chance.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight, or its people. And I hate being 26.

***

**CHAPTER 12 – AUGUST 13, 2013**

**EPOV**

The dining room was completely empty, as it usually was once dinner ended. I had arrived here early for once, and I had taken advantage of the solid cooking and two glasses of wine to loosen me up a bit. This place felt like a dream, really, like something my brain cooked up two days out of the year, where I could escape the very real demands of my daily life. I had jumped through some major hoops to make the trip up here this year, and my excuses sounded thin even to me. But I didn't have a choice, really. Or did I? Some unexplained force pulled me here year after year, even though I hadn't talked to Bella in months. I hardly missed her anymore. I hardly thought about her, because I had trained myself not to. It was amazing what time and distractions could do.

So instead of thinking about Bella, because, my mind wandered to college and life and my uncertain future. Carlisle had gently pushed me towards med school, but I wasn't feeling it. That was his thing, not mine. I didn't want to be the clichéd son who followed in Doctor Dad's footsteps. I had no idea what the fuck I wanted to do, but I'd find something. I'd take the LSAT or the GRE or some other mindless standardized test, and figure something out. I had a year of college to go. I had time.

When I thought about it, though, a year didn't seem like a hell of a lot. Had I really spent three years in college, partying and drinking and studying, and now it was almost over? People always told me college was the best four years of your life. These three were pretty good, honestly. Maybe not the best, but good. It depressed me a little bit to think that the best years had passed, that no matter what happened down the road, things were downhill from here. That seemed depressing as hell, but what did I know? It was probably true.

And as for California, well, I liked the sun, but I needed a change. I had my connections there, the people I knew and liked and saw on a daily basis, but was that enough to keep me there? I had dated a variety of girls, but only the most recent one had really meant much to me, and even she…well, yeah. If she found out about this, it would crush her. It was hard enough lying to her about coming here—so hard, in fact, that I thought twice about coming…but here I was, in this room, waiting for someone I hadn't seen in an entire year. Someone I no longer thought about, because it was easier that way.

I downed the last of my Syrah and felt my stomach twist at the sound of the doorknob turning. Shit, I hadn't expected that. I honestly wasn't sure if she would come—I hadn't really thought about it all that much, but it definitely sent a thrill through my veins when I heard those hinges groan. It opened slowly, and I couldn't help but stare at the door as I waited for someone to enter.

But then, the strangest thing happened. I didn't see anyone's face, nor did I hear a sound. The door swung back into its original position and I heard it shut with a quiet click. My heart was racing now because that was kind of strange, and I wanted to know who had opened the door and then changed their mind. Seriously, who did that? You either opened a door or you knocked or you just walked away. You didn't…change your mind halfway through the process.

I was upset about a door. I was really, truly angry about it. And once I realized it wasn't about the door, but the person behind the door, I kicked my chair back and nearly sprinted over to the large oak frame. I wrenched open the door loudly and stepped out into the empty reception area, but there was no one there. A few seconds had passed, nothing more. Right? Had I sat there brooding about the stupid fucking door for longer than a few seconds?

I noticed the little sign on the reception desk indicating that Denali had gone to bed or wherever the hell he went, and I also knew he would never disturb me in the dining room. It wasn't his style. I looked around frantically, searching the room for signs of life—a suitcase, a backpack, a map of the ridiculously confusing grounds. Nothing.

But no, not nothing. As I walked toward the front door, I sensed the slightest, faintest, most wonderfully breathtaking scent of strawberries and flowers and rain. Where was she? _Where was she_?!

I ran out the front door, forgetting about everything and everything except her. I finally saw her in the distance, running toward the dock, her long, lush brown hair bouncing against her back. For once, I hoped she would stumble so that she would slow down, because I had to catch her. I had to reach her before that fucking ferry operator found her and took her away from me, because if that happened, I knew I would never see her again.

So I ran. Hard. I sprinted down the paths I knew so well, avoiding the familiar ditches and oversized tree roots. I didn't know if she heard me coming. I didn't care. I wanted to call out but I was breathing too hard, my chest heaving with nerves and fear and exertion as I closed the distance between us. She was stepping onto the ferry ramp as I reached the dock, which was slippery and wet but I didn't give a fuck. I ran through the rain that had begun to fall and then she saw me, drenched and gasping and speechless.

Her hair was wet and her face glistened in the full moon, and she was even more beautiful than I had remembered. Her expression was blank, but her chocolate eyes danced with expectation and surprise and a hint of sadness. I couldn't read her expression but I could read her eyes, which made my nerves tingle with anticipation and overwhelming relief. She had one foot on the ramp and one on the dock, and I didn't know what was she was going to do. I stood rooted in place, still trying to make sense of what had just happened. Still trying to process how the thought of losing her made me feel like breaking down right here, on this dock, in the rain. And I wouldn't give a shit if that happened. A part of me wanted her to feel it, too.

She just looked at me for what could have been seconds, or minutes, or hours—I have no idea. But then she dropped her backpack on the ground and ran toward me, and she threw her arms around my neck and kissed me furiously, passionately, so that my head spun and my heart thundered in my chest. I parted my lips when she begged for entrance with her tongue, and I happily deepened the kiss, exploring her with a hunger I hadn't felt in a very long time. I felt my entire body tremble in anticipation as she pressed herself into me, intensifying my arousal. I was impossibly hard and I knew she felt it, kissing me all over my face, consuming me like a crazed, wild fire. I did the same, and it was the most frenzied, intense, hot as fuck kiss I had ever experienced in my twenty-one years.

"Edward," she said, moaning breathlessly as I ran my hands through her hair. I set her down gently, trying to consider the wet dock and the possibility for disaster. It was hard to think about anything but her when she was this close, breathing hard as her hips met my throbbing cock, but I had to. I had to focus. I had to get a grip on what the fuck had just happened, and how close we had come to losing it all.

"Where the fuck were you going?" I said, more angrily than I intended. My breathing was so ragged that it was embarrassing.

"I'm sorry, Edward," she said softly, stroking my wet hair as the rain fell steadily.

"Why would you just leave like that?" I pressed, and I sounded desperate, broken. I couldn't believe how quickly my emotional detachment to Bella had completely vaporized. I had gone from never thinking about her to needing her like air.

She took my hand slowly, and her deep, dark eyes met mine, and they were sad, lost. I hadn't seen it until now. I hadn't noticed in the dark and the rain. She was stunningly, strikingly beautiful, but her skin had an uncharacteristic pallor to it and her eyes were rimmed with dark circles. I noticed the slight protrusion of her cheekbones and the feel of her knuckles in my hands. My heart wrenched in my chest as I absorbed it all, as I realized that Bella was broken somehow.

"What happened, Bella?" I asked, almost in a whisper.

"I…I can't…" she trailed off, and I felt her little body begin to tremble. She must have been freezing, and we were standing out here in the cold and rain. I draped my arm over her and pulled her close to my side, hoping that my body heat would grant her some relief. I held her to me and guided her toward the cabin, where it sat like always, radiating its warm, white light at the water's edge.

***

As soon as we got to the cabin, I helped her remove her drenched clothes until she was completely nude, and I ran the shower as hot as she could stand it. She climbed in gingerly, and I gasped at the weight that had fallen from her frame. She looked so vulnerable, almost childlike. I must have grimaced because her eyes fell, and she suddenly looked ashamed.

"No, Bella," I said. "Look at me."

She looked up tentatively, as the hot water rushed over her shoulders and the steam clouded the glass walls.

"I want you to tell me what happened," I said, and my voice was steady, firm.

"I will," she said. "But first, can you stay with me?"

"I am staying with you. I'm right here."

"No, closer," she said. And her little fingers tugged at the hem of my shirt, while a little smile crept onto her face.

I was worried as fuck about Bella, because she looked like she was wearing the weight of the world on her shoulders, but I couldn't resist her when she did that. Her whole face lit up when she smiled, and it had been _so long_ since I had seen that smile, the very same one that danced on her lips when she told me she loved me. I hadn't heard those words from her in a long time, either, but I was okay with that. There was love in her face, her smile. That was enough.

So I stepped out of my soaked pants and boxers and acquiesced to her shy, quiet demand. I inhaled sharply as the hot water cascaded over my back, but it didn't even remotely compare to the feel of her soft, smooth hands all over my body. She moved them slowly, deliberately, as though rediscovering something she had lost. It felt fucking incredible, and I just enjoyed it for a long time. Just enjoyed the feel of her.

Of course, I couldn't enjoy the feel of her without _really_ enjoying the feel of her, which became readily apparent within a few minutes. A devious grin spread on her face, and I smiled in spite of myself. I liked it when Mrs. President came back to torture me, and I was liking it now. A lot. She moved her little hands down my chest and took my rock-hard cock in her hand, and I inhaled sharply when she did that. My breathing was picking up and so were her hand movements, until she pushed me back gently against the shower wall and she sat demurely on the little bench, gazing up at me with lusty, eager eyes.

My eyes widened at the realization of what she was about to do, and I groaned loudly when she took me into her mouth, deeply and fully and fucking aggressively. I wasn't expecting that at all. I expected a little tease maybe, like a little preparation for the main event. But no, this was Mrs. President from our card playing days, and she had her mouth around me and her tongue on me in ways I had only fucking dreamed about. I had to lean my hands against the wall for support, and she was going quickly now, rocking my hips in a steady, furious rhythm. I didn't want to rough it up, really, but this was too much and I thrust my hips into her mouth, matching her pace with my own. She started fucking _humming_ against me and I felt the tension building, my cock pounding into her as she gave me the blow job of my life. A low, guttural moan escaped my throat as I felt myself coming, and I tried to give her a signal to pull out, but of course she wouldn't.

So I came, and I came in her mouth, filling her completely and feeling her throat muscles contract as she swallowed every bit of it. I tried to say something but I was expending all my energy attempting to restore strength to my legs and arms and every inch of my shuddering body, while Bella sat on that bench, a smug smile on her face. When I finally regained control of my faculties after that mind-blowing release, including the insanely hot activity that led to it, I managed a smirk of my own. She thought she was sneaky, eh? I'd get her later.

"You didn't have to do that, Bella," I said, my voice still low and husky.

"Oh, yes I did," she said, still smiling devilishly. I wasn't going to argue.

"Are you warm yet?" I asked, concern creeping into my voice. As the massive cloud of lust cleared from my head, I processed the alarming weight loss in her already slight frame.

"I'm okay," she said, registering the change in my tone. I wondered if she had been trying to run away from the impending discussion.

"Bella, I'm worried about you," I said.

"I know."

She smiled sadly and stepped out of the shower, taking my hand as she did so. The little twinkly lights were on in the bedroom, and they cast a dim light on the breezy, dark room. She climbed into bed and I followed, rolling over so that she was on top of me, resting her chin on my chest. She sighed deeply.

"You have the most mesmerizing eyes," she said. "Has anyone ever told you that?"

"You did, I think. A long time ago."

"Well, I miss them. Most people have boring eyes."

I chuckled. "Well, I'm glad I don't have that."

"You should be," she said, smiling playfully. "It's a deal-breaker."

"Oh? You have high standards, then."

"How's that?" she asked.

"Most deal-breakers include something like snoring, baldness, poor hygiene, bad breath, lousy job, annoying laugh, small…johnson," I said, wondering where the hell that one came from.

"Small johnson?" she asked.

"Hmm…yes. It's a euphemism for—"

"I know what it is, Edward. Don't worry, you _definitely_ don't have that problem." She blushed a light pink and I smiled at her modesty.

"Glad to hear it," I teased. "You know, you have lovely eyes yourself."

She shook her head. "No, I don't. They're a boring brown."

"What?!" I exclaimed. "They're a deep, seductive, radiant brown. I fucking love your eyes. In fact, that's why I get caught staring at you so much. Hell, if we were in kindergarten, you would always be asking me, 'Hey, punk, do you have a staring problem?'"

She giggled. "Is that what you did in kindergarten?"

"No, but that was Emmett's favorite line. Then it kind of caught on."

"Well, I'm glad you have a staring problem," she said, breaking eye contact as she looked down shyly. "I like the way you look at me."

"I like the way you look at me," I replied. More than she could possibly know.

She took a deep breath, and rested her head on my chest. I stroked her hair gently as her quiet breathing mingled with the sound of the rain on the porch steps.

"I'm glad you stopped me on that dock, Edward," she said softly.

I inhaled deeply and braced myself for this conversation. I had a feeling it would be hard—if not for me, then definitely for her. But for some reason, I could feel an overwhelming sense of guilt slink into my subconscious, and I couldn't shake it.

"I almost lost you," I said.

"I know. I just…I wasn't sure I could face you," she said, her voice almost a whisper. I had to strain myself to hear, but I didn't want to push her. I waited for her to continue.

"I know I…look different, Edward. I had a difficult year," she started, and her voice was trembling. "Something happened to me this past winter."

I felt my chest tighten at her words, which sounded really fucking ominous. Had someone hurt her? Had someone been there to comfort her, to save her? It sure as fuck didn't look like it. Bella was clearly struggling—I could see it in her eyes, her face, her body. I had failed her somehow. I knew it and there was nothing I could do about it.

"What happened, Bella?" I asked.

"I was at a party," she started, her voice shaking now. "I was there with…my…the guy I'm…"

"It's okay, Bella," I said, although my throat was clenched so tight I felt like I was choking. What _guy_ could possibly be good enough for this perfect creature?

"I lost track of him, and people kept giving me drinks, too many drinks…" she continued. "I blacked out and when I woke up, some guy I didn't know was on top of me."

"No," I uttered in sheer, utter denial as a low hiss escaped my throat. As I internalized her words, I felt so fucking angry, guilty, horrified, enraged, devastated, that it took everything I had to resist walking out that door and throwing myself into the fucking bay because I had failed her in the worst possible way. I had _failed_ Bella, like a useless, idle pawn in her life who appeared once a year to enjoy her for a few days, and then let her go like a coward.

Bella, though, was not a coward. She was a fighter, and she was fighting this so very hard that it made my heart ache.

"At first," she continued, "I didn't know what had happened. My vision was all foggy and my body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds, but I fought back somehow," she said, crying softly now. "I ran out of the house and someone found me, and took me to the emergency room."

She cleared her throat, determined to continue.

"He didn't rape me, Edward," she said, sighing deeply. "He almost did, but there was no—" she stopped to take another deep breath, but it caught in her throat.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," I said, because I didn't know what else to say. And I held her in my arms because I didn't know what else to do.

"I'm doing better, Edward," she said, her voice infinitesimally steadier. "I stopped eating for a while…and it was hard to sleep, with the dreams…but I'm doing better."

"Are you, Bella? You can tell me the truth," I said, because I had learned my fucking lesson. Never again would I let Bella endure something like this on her own. Even if she was with someone else, living somewhere else, doing something else—I didn't give a shit. I was done living on the periphery of Bella's life.

"Yes," she said. "Although this is the first time I've ever really done anything…um…sexual with anyone, in a long time…" she said, and my heart brightened, just a little bit. I must, in some way, make her feel safe. Even after all this time.

"I wish I had been there for you, Bella. I wouldn't have let this happen."

"It's not your fault, Edward. Things happen. Don't ever feel guilty about what happened to me, because there was nothing you could have done."

"I _could_ have done something, Bella! If I had been there…" but I trailed off, because I wasn't there and someone else was, and Bella wasn't my girl to protect. This was the way it had been for years, and neither one of us had made any effort to change that. We had accepted our separate lives in separate places, and even I had grown used to it. I imagined Bella had, too.

She moved her head from my chest and fixed her eyes on mine, probing the hurt and guilt and anger that colored my face. Her eyes were wet from her tears, but her expression was strong, her face set in a resolve she had carefully constructed through months of recovery. My heart swelled with pride at the sight of her, despite the brokenness that shadowed her eyes. She was strong, so fucking strong. Bella would overcome this, and she would do it without me if she had to. I just didn't want her to.

"I know, Edward," she said. "I never forgot about you."

"I never forgot about you," I said, which was true. I had just tried to forget.

"I feel safe now," she whispered. "I feel safer with you than I feel with anyone."

"Then stay with me," I said, surprised by the slight tremble in my voice. I felt my eyes watering and I had no fucking idea why, because I wasn't supposed to _cry_. Not now, not ever. But the emotions I had suppressed for an entire year were all bubbling up to the surface, ripping my chest open, filling my eyes and tightening the walls in my throat.

"Stay with me, Bella," I said again, my voice a deep, throaty plea. I cupped her face in my hands and probed the depths of her eyes with mine, determined to find the truth in there somewhere. The truth that both of us had been denying for too fucking long.

"I'm damaged, Edward," she murmured.

"So am I," I said, holding my voice as steady as possible. "I'm damaged because you aren't in my life."

"I'm not the same," she argued softly.

"No, you're not."

She looked at me, her eyes red from crying, and a single tear trickled down her cheek. I brushed it away with my thumb.

"You're stronger. You're wiser. You're more incredible, more resilient, more amazing than you have ever been, Bella. Don't you ever fucking forget that."

Her face remained set in a sad, stoic expression, but her dark eyes brightened at my words. She looked up at me and nodded softly, and her tears fell silently onto my chest. She leaned in and kissed me softly, and I relished the sweet, salty taste of her tears on her lips.

"Edward?" she asked softly, her lips still grazing mine.

"Hmm?" I managed.

"Thank you," she murmured.

"For what?" I asked, stroking her deep brown hair, savoring its soft, familiar texture in my fingers.

"For saving me."

"I didn't save you, Bella."

"You did. You just haven't realized it yet."

***

**Hmm, will they actually get together this time? We'll see! **


	13. August 13, 2014

**A/N:** More fluff here than last chapter...but a lot of ambiguity. Don't worry, it's supposed to be that way.

The next chapter is going to be quite a departure from the usual, so stay tuned!

Thanks as always to my readers and reviewers! :)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Edward and Bella, but I definitely have a thing for them.

***

**CHAPTER 13 – AUGUST 13, 2014**

**BPOV**

The hazy, fiery light of dusk was streaming in through the windows, giving the room a cozy, timeless feel. I knew this room well; hell, I had christened it a few years ago. But for the first time in all the years I had been coming here, there were more than just two of us in here. Two bustling, cheerful waiters meandered through the tables, serving steaming dinners and bottles of expensive wine. The wine really was expensive, I mused. But Edward wouldn't listen to my protests.

"It's your graduation present," he said, reaching across the table and taking my hands in his. "You deserve better than two-buck-chuck."

My spine tingled at the sensation of his warm, familiar hands, the ones that had caught me so many times since the day we met. I still stumbled, of course, from time to time. And he still caught me. Always.

"What about _your_ graduation present?" I asked, a small smile playing on my lips.

"We'll get to that later," he said, leaving my heart racing with his crooked, teasing grin. My face flushed its usual deep red as a waiter came by to take our order.

"Mr. Cullen and Ms. Swan?" he asked, and the sound of my name caught my attention. Especially when it fell in the same sentence as Mr. Cullen.

"That's us," Edward said, smiling politely. His eyebrow was raised, just like mine, but he waited for the lanky, slightly awkward guy to speak.

"Mr. Denali wishes for your meal to be on the house," he said. "As a thank you, for all the years you've been coming here."

"That's very kind of him," I said, because it was. Although my college days were over, and I was getting used to the idea of making a steady income, I still valued free things.

"It's our pleasure," he said with a bright, genuine smile. "What can I get for you?"

Edward ordered for us both, and the sumptuous, rich red wine came quickly. I cringed ever so slightly as it slid down my throat, warming my blood. Edward smiled in amusement.

"Not used to the good stuff?" he teased.

"My white zinfandel tastes like juice," I retorted. "This is…different."

"I think you'll get used to it," he said. But his face fell slightly at the thought of displeasing me.

"I like it, Edward. You worry too much."

He smiled but said nothing, and I could imagine the million thoughts dancing in his head right now. He did worry about me—I knew that. But he also admired me for my independence and strength; he had made that quite clear last year. And since then…well, I wasn't going to think about the months that had passed since then. I had unfairly bent the rules last year by talking about intermittent events, and that was not going to happen this time. I didn't want to think about the last 363 days. I just wanted to think about now.

"So…" I began. "Why are we dining in the company of other humans this year?"

He laughed, his warm eyes dancing in the fading light. Every year, he managed to captivate me in a way he never had before, almost as though we had never met. His emerald eyes flashed with more…experience, maybe maturity. I wasn't sure. College had changed Edward, just as it had changed me. I was a completely different person than the naïve seventeen-year-old who stepped on that bus senior year, embarrassed and uncertain and scared shitless. I still blushed uncontrollably, especially in Edward's presence, but it wasn't out of humiliation. It was because Edward had an effect on me that no other person had, and it drew me to this place each year, as it had since the first moment I saw him…

His light, velvety voice broke my thoughts, as he leaned back in his chair and ran his hair through the mess of bronze that hadn't changed one bit in the last five years.

"Well, you know, I don't like sharing you with other people," he said, an impish smirk on his face. "But I also like people to see how unbelievably lucky I am."

"Lucky to have a date?" I teased.

"Mmm," he said. "A very hot date."

He gripped my thigh underneath the table, and a surprised little squeal escaped my lips. He grinned, but his eyes were smoldering, and his hand was making a bit of a journey along my leg.

"Edward," I said in a breathless, chastising gasp.

Of course he didn't stop, though. He didn't stop because he knew I didn't want him to stop, and his fingers danced along my skin, sending an electric pulse through my veins as he tortured me with the anticipation of what he was going to do. I was already wet from his maddening strokes along the length of my leg, and I arched my back a tiny bit as he reached the top of my thigh and teased the edge of my panties. I cursed myself for wearing them, but at least I had had the sense to wear a skirt.

I whimpered unconsciously as he grazed the surface of the fabric with his hand, which was radiating some very intense heat and moisture by now. I knew he could feel it because one corner of his lips turned up in a wicked, lusty grin, and I would have finished this right under this table if there weren't 20 people devouring lobster and wine and other aspects of a very classy dinner.

So I decided to return the favor as I ran my bare foot up his leg and rested it in his crotch, which was shockingly hard. A low growl escaped his throat as he grabbed my foot with his other hand and pressed it down, giving me a very full indication of just how ready he was to blow off this dinner and take me with wild abandon on the dining room floor.

But suddenly the waiter's voice interrupted us, and my knee jerked against the table as he came up behind me, making the water slosh over the glasses. My face turned a bright, dazzling red that made Edward grin, but the waiter seemed completely oblivious to the whole naughty exchange. I tried to regain my composure as he served me something that smelled like heaven itself. I was definitely on sensory overload right now, and I needed a release. Soon. Edward looked at me knowingly as he sipped his wine and waited a few seconds for me to start eating, as I knew he would. He always would, I realized.

Edward allowed me to enjoy my dinner in peace as the dining room slowly emptied, and the last rays of the sun fell behind the horizon. I felt the wine coursing through me, warming me from the core of my body to the tips of my fingers. It was wonderfully, deliciously satisfying. I gave Edward a hooded, lusty stare—partly from the wine, mostly because of him—and he left a generous tip as he took my hand and eased me up from the chair. My heart stuttered at his touch, and I smoothed down my skirt to hide any evidence of the evening's previous activities. He leaned over and kissed me softly on the cheek, then meandered ever so slightly to my ear.

"You look ravishing tonight, Bella. I can't believe you made me wait this long," he whispered huskily into my ear.

"I plan on remedying that _immediately_," I said softly, meeting his gaze.

He said nothing and we walked briskly out of the dining room, thanking our waiter on the way out. Mr. Denali intercepted us in the reception room, and I almost cursed our bad luck. I didn't think I had it in me to hold a coherent conversation for more than a few seconds.

"Ah, Mr. Cullen, Ms. Swan. How was dinner?" he asked us, and Edward tightened his grip on my hand. _Be patient_, it seemed to say. I felt like a girl on prom night.

"Delicious," Edward said, smiling warmly at the man whose face I found oddly comforting, like a cousin at a family dinner. A few silver strands had crept into his wispy brown hair, and the lines around his eyes seemed deeper.

"Yes, it was excellent," I managed.

"That's so good to hear," he said. "We all enjoy seeing you here every year."

"We enjoy coming," Edward said. "We really appreciate all you've done for us."

"Of course," he said, smiling politely at me.

"Well, you two have a lovely evening," he said, extending his hand toward the door, as if it were the gates of heaven. I could hardly believe I had used that door as an escape last year, for an entirely different reason. How drastically, how wonderfully, things had changed.

"You too," Edward said, and he stole a glance at me as we walked out the door into the moonlight.

***

We didn't get very far. As soon as we stepped off the porch into the cover of darkness, Edward whirled me around, pinning me against a thick oak. I was surprised at how ragged his breathing was; he had done a very impressive job of hiding it for Mr. Denali's sake. His eyes burned in the soft light of the moon, and I pulled him to me in a rush of hungry, furious passion. His lips moved against mine in a desirous rage, and I breathed him in, consuming him with every last one of my senses. I lost myself in his touch, his kiss, his need, as he shoved me up against the tree and returned his hand to my leg. He resumed the ministrations that had begun under the dinner table, and I whimpered as he answered the wet, throbbing ache between my legs, massaging me through the thin fabric.

"I don't think we're going to make it to the room," he said roughly, his breath hot against my cheek.

"Fine….with….me," I managed to gasp, as he thrust two of his fingers inside of me, and his name escaped my lips in a low, throaty moan.

He finally discarded that dastardly sliver of fabric between my legs and hiked me up against the tree while I fumbled with his belt and launched it against a nearby tree. He dropped his pants to his thighs and hissed as the cold hit his bare skin, namely the very erect piece of his anatomy that I wanted inside me, _now_. He didn't waste any time as I wrapped my legs around his waist and he thrust into me, groaning roughly as he did so. He grabbed my bare ass and rocked me into him, deepening our union with each thrust. I was already close to coming when he entered me, and it took only a few seconds before I tumbled over the edge in a breathless release. But Edward maintained his hard, furious pace, and the waves of my orgasm had barely receded before I felt them building again. I tightened my grip around his neck as he drove into me, tasting the sweat on his skin.

I could feel him coming as his pace intensified, and when he came, I came, too, his final thrusts giving way to a violent, delicious shudder. I struggled to catch my breath and ride out the wave of my own release as he set me down again, and the feel of the cool dirt between my toes brought me back to earth. He smiled a little bit smugly as he wiped the sweat from my forehead, because that was some serious fucking. And I smiled, too, because I loved his face and his eyes and the way he looked at me with such adoration and…love. Was it love? I tried not to think about it in the context of our very complicated, very unorthodox relationship, and the people it affected. He was mine for now, and I was his, and that was enough.

***

When we reached the cabin, the thick, familiar scent of pine and salt flooded my senses. It always looked the same, like a snapshot in time. And it was, really. Only we had changed.

"Well, Bella," Edward said, drawing me close to him, inhaling the scent of my thick brown hair. "I think we agreed that tonight is your night. So, what will it be?"

"When did we agree to that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Just now. I decided," he said, smiling crookedly.

"But I like when you make all the decisions," I whined playfully, tangling his hair with my fingers.

"I made a pretty major decision regarding that oak tree. I think I'm done for the night," he teased. That had indeed been a _very_ good decision.

I sighed. "Okay, let me think about this."

He rolled his eyes as I pretended to ponder something very deeply.

"You know, if it's that much trouble, I can just go to bed—"

"No!" I said, although I was well acquainted with Edward's empty threats. "Given the nice weather we're having, I would like to try something new."

"Oh?" he asked, but of course he was on to me. Edward could read my face like a book.

"I want to test out that hot tub."

"Finally!" he exhaled. "I've been waiting for _years_ for you to come around on that goddamn hot tub."

"Edward," I whined, although I could sense the gentle teasing in his voice. "It rained the last few years."

"But a hot tub is already, well, pretty much as wet as it gets," he argued.

"I'm going to lose this argument, aren't I?" I sighed.

"Yes."

He smiled in amusement, and I let him enjoy the moment. I realized it was quirky of me to dislike the combination of hot tubs and rain, but Edward and I had discovered some very satisfying alternatives to that setting. I blushed at all those memories.

"Did you bring any swimming attire?" I asked, eyeing the smirk on his face.

"Why yes, I did. Did you?"

"No," I said, and his eyes widened as the familiar heat rose in my cheeks.

"Even better," he muttered, but his voice had noticeably deepened. I smiled.

***

A few minutes later, Edward was sitting in the hot, steaming water, trying to coax me in. I stuck a toe in, adjusting to the heat.

"It's so _hot_," I whined.

"So are you," he smirked, and I rolled my eyes. "Come on, Bella. Get in here."

I dipped my big toe in a little further, and my face scrunched up in displeasure. Edward let out a loud sigh and reached up to my forearms, pulling me in with a splash.

"Edward!" I squealed.

"You can be so stubborn sometimes," he chastised me. "And quirky. But luckily for you, I like your quirks."

I was sitting on his lap, but he moved me gently to the bench beside him.

"I can't concentrate if you're sitting there," he explained. "And I want to talk to you for a bit."

"But not about our…regular lives, right?" I asked, because I didn't want to break the rules again. For some reason, any mention of our daily existences made me uneasy, because as simple as that rule was, there were a thousand more complicated ones I was breaking just by being here.

"No," he said. "Not about that. I'll keep it very general." He ran his hand through his wet hair, and for a second I wondered why Edward could possibly be nervous.

"Being here," he started, "makes me think about last year." His expression darkened as he looked at me, his eyes deep with worry and regret.

"I've come a long way since last year," I mumbled, glancing down.

"I know, but…I just want to make sure you're okay," he said, his voice desperate, tortured, and almost…well, I couldn't hope for that. I would never ask Edward how he felt about me, not here. It wasn't fair to him.

"I _am_ okay, Edward," I said firmly.

"Are you happy?" he asked, and I noted a shred of unsteadiness in his voice.

"Yes, I'm happy. I'm very happy."

"Okay," he sighed. "That's all I want for you, Bella. That's all I've ever really wanted."

I knew that, of course. I had known it for years. Edward's selflessness, in everything he did, never ceased to amaze me. But I just nodded in silence, a thousand different thoughts warring in my head.

"How about Charlie…Alice…or…?" he trailed off, but I could guess why he didn't finish the sentence. "Do you have people in your life who care about you?"

"Yes," I said, almost in a whisper. "I am very lucky."

He sighed with relief, or nostalgia—I couldn't tell which. I stroked the back of his hand, relishing the sensation of his skin underwater.

"How about you, Edward?" I murmured. "Do you…have someone special in your life?"

He looked at me, his eyes a dazzling mess of emotion.

"Yes," he said. "I, too, am very lucky."

"That's good," I managed, forcing a smile. "You look happy, Edward. You deserve that more than anyone."

The intensity of his gaze unsettled me, but I couldn't decipher the meaning behind it. I didn't really want to, honestly. I didn't want to think about it.

"I want to ask a more light-hearted question," I said finally, and his eyes brightened.

"Sure," he said. "Let's have it."

"What's your favorite college memory?" I asked, shifting closer to him. His skin sizzled against mine, and I ran my toes over the length of his leg, feeling oddly satisfied when he shivered in response.

"Hmm," he began. "Good question." He paused, and his gaze shifted to the trees in the distance. I waited for him to continue.

"I played a solo piano concert once," he said, a smile framing his face as he recalled the memory. "I had never played for so many people before."

"I'm sure you were incredible," I said, picturing the way his fingers danced over the keys. Edward played the piano magnificently, and when Mr. Denali found out about it, he had pointed us in the direction of his private study. Edward often played there late at night, when we resisted sleep because our time was so limited. I just listened, often until the sun came up.

"I did the best I could," he murmured. "But it wasn't memorable for that reason. I remember it because I spent so much time scanning the crowd, looking for one person. I didn't think she would come, but I found her, finally, sitting in the back row. She smiled at me, and when I played, I played for her."

I glanced down at the water, forcing back tears. It sounded like a beautiful, happy memory, and even now, his eyes danced in recollection. I tightened my hold on his hand and closed my eyes, feeling my throat tighten as my emotions surfaced unexpectedly.

"A very lucky girl," I whispered. He sighed, allowing the silence to linger heavily in the air.

"And you?" he finally said, drawing my chin upward with his finger. "What is your happiest college memory?"

I knew before he even asked me, of course. It couldn't compare to his, really, but the memory of it always made me smile, even on my darkest days.

"It was the middle of finals week," I began, my face brightening. "I was studying day and night and I had effectively locked myself in my room, refusing to see anyone."

"Anti-social Bella made an appearance in college? I thought she only existed in Forks, especially around prom time," he said with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes and regained my train of thought.

"I suppose I was being anti-social, but anyway, someone showed up at my door and convinced me to come out. I put up quite a fight, but I eventually gave in."

I paused, suppressing a smile as I remembered the most ridiculous temper tantrum of my life, as I practically threw this person out of my room. The attempt failed, though, of course.

"So, where did you go?" he asked.

"He put me in his car and drove me downtown, to the most expensive restaurant in the city. I thought he was going to take me out to dinner, which was romantic in and of itself, but the restaurant was completely empty."

Edward took a deep breath, playing thoughtfully with my hair. His expression was blank, so I continued.

"He led me back to the kitchen, and the chef was there, waiting for us. He asked me what I wanted to cook," I explained, smiling widely now. "So I cooked something, his favorite, and the three of us ate a very fancy dinner in the kitchen of Seattle's most famous restaurant. And the chef complimented me at the end."

He sighed deeply, and I kept my eyes on the steamy surface. I wasn't sure I wanted to see Edward's reaction to my memory, a snapshot of my life that only three people even knew about.

"You _are_ a very talented cook, Bella," he murmured against my hair, kissing me softly.

"I don't know about that," I said, watching the water simmer around us. "But for that one night, I felt very special, very…loved."

I could feel him breathing slowly, steadily against me, but he said nothing. It didn't matter, though. There was nothing to say.

"Okay," he said finally. "It's my turn for the question round."

I wasn't sure how I felt about any more questions. Already, I felt like I was standing on shaky ground, waiting for my emotions to betray me. I took an unsteady breath and nodded.

"I want to know the craziest, weirdest, most ridiculous thing Alice and Jasper did since we graduated high school."

I felt the tension in my shoulders dissipate as I realized that this was a question I could easily, gladly answer.

"They, uh…got it on in the children's exhibit of the aquarium once," I said.

His deep, casual laugh echoed in my ears.

"Seriously?" he asked. "Well, I commend them. If we had an aquarium here, I would suggest we give it a try."

"The children's exhibit, though?" I teased. "That's just wrong."

"I'd say it's pretty legendary. But, okay, sure—if we end up in an aquarium on one of our annual rendezvous, we'll be sure to avoid the children's exhibit."

"Good," I said with mock seriousness. "So, how about Emmett and Rosalie? Any crazy stories about them?"

"Well, now that you ask…Emmett went on a cruise once."

I remembered Emmett's experience on the ferry, an experience that plagued him throughout senior year. The poor guy was deathly afraid of water, although he hated to admit it. He even took swimming lessons from Angela Weber to face his fears. Didn't work.

"Uh oh. How did that go?"

"Well, at first he convinced me that the bikinis and the drinks cured him of all his water-borne fears."

"At first?"

"Yes. Sadly, the truth came out later."

"Oh no," I said, but Edward had a broad grin on his face, and I couldn't help but smile, too.

"He became obsessed with the lifeboats, and wouldn't go back to his room until someone convinced him that there were enough boats for everyone. And he wore a life jacket the entire time."

I giggled at the image of Emmett's huge chest bulging out of a tiny orange life vest.

"Apparently Rosalie liked it, though. They keep one around…you know, for special occasions," he said with a laugh that brightened his eyes.

"Oh, God," I muttered, rolling my eyes.

"Yeah, real hot stuff."

"Let's not add that to our repertoire," I said, turning to face him, his cheeks glimmering with sweat from the steamy water.

"Agreed," he said. "Besides, I think we have enough crazy stories of our own."

"Not the least of which is the fact that we've come here every year for six years," I added.

"Mmhm," he agreed, and then he pulled me on his lap to face him, my legs straddling his, my bare breasts skimming the surface of the water.

"No more questions," he said huskily, stroking my shoulders with his hands. I trembled as he explored my hot, wet skin with his fingers, and it wasn't long before his lips followed. He kissed me slowly, languorously, and he groaned softly as his lips roamed across my breasts, over my collarbone, and up my neck to the depths of my hair.

"Just one more?" I asked breathlessly, as my thoughts clouded with my need for him.

"One more," he breathed into my ear, tugging gently on my skin with his teeth. I shivered as his hot breath mingled with the sound of his voice.

"What is your happiest memory of _this_ place?"

He hesitated briefly, still breathing heavily into my ear as his hands roamed every inch of my body, which buzzed with his touch.

"You," he whispered. "I'm happiest...just being with you."

***

**Hmm...the next chapter will shed some light on things...**


	14. August 13, 2015

**A/N:** So switching gears here...this chapter is a bit of a departure. But hopefully in a good way. Just to clear up the timing, this is six years since Edward and Bella first came to the island, and five since they graduated from high school (so this is their seventh year here...does that make sense? Sorry for the confusion).

This whole thing is meant to be mysterious/ambiguous, but it will make more sense as a completed story (not sure about the timeline for it...probably soon).

Also, next chapter will pick up the next morning, not next year.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight.

***

**AUGUST 13, 2015**

**EPOV**

This year wasn't going to be like the others, I knew, as I handed the attendant my credit card in exchange for a silver rental car. I much preferred my own Volvo, but I didn't have time to stop in Forks this year. I barely had time to make this trip at all, and I cringed when I saw what time it was. Already the sun had begun to set, and I was a solid two hours from my destination. Unlike past years, though, Bella could check the list to see if I was coming. I groaned. This was going to be interesting, and not in a good way.

I climbed into the immaculate vehicle and turned up the volume on the radio, almost as high as it would go. It wouldn't do any good to think about this now. It probably wouldn't do any good to think about it at all. So I leaned back in my seat, floored the gas, and zoned out completely.

***

Two hours later, I made it to the island on the last ferry of the night, and I had cut it far too close. I probably would have swum over here if I had missed the damn boat, which would have been interesting—probably fatal, but romantic as hell. Then again, Bella might not see it that way.

I stepped off the ferry cautiously, surveying the well-lit dock and the crowds of people in the distance. The lateness of the evening didn't seem to bother anyone, and their voices carried over the trees and toward the water, where I stood, unmoving. I felt suddenly felt uneasy, nervous even, because I hadn't seen these people in a very long time. In spite of that, I didn't really care too much about the people socializing on the lawn, drinking beer and having a decent time. I cared about the fact that I would be losing precious time with Bella this weekend, and I couldn't do a fucking thing about it.

I rolled my black suitcase along the dock, thankful for a dry, clear night. As I reached the end, I searched for Bella in the crowd, hoping and praying she would find me and whisk me away from these people. But I heard a different voice, instead—a voice I recognized instantly, even after years of silence.

"Edward!" she exclaimed. Alice's face beamed in the faint light of the moon, and she threw herself into my arms in a warm, frenzied hug. "I haven't seen you in _so long_! And you got even handsomer, if that's possible."

She smiled brightly as my mind registered this kind, lovely face from so many years ago. Alice had hardly changed at all in the last five years, and her hair was still its short, striking black, and her eyes danced with the genuine happiness she exuded. I realized in an instant how much I had missed her, and wondered why the hell it had taken me five whole years to see her again.

"You look fantastic, too, Alice," I said, smiling widely. "Remind me again why we don't see each other more often."

"I think that is _your_ fault, Edward. You're the one who never came back to Forks during the summer," she said, and my face fell a little bit at her words. It was true that I hardly ever returned to Forks, but I couldn't explain my reasons now.

"True," I sighed. "I will definitely try and visit more often."

"You better," she chided, eyeing me seriously. Alice was definitely going to hold me to the promise I had just made.

"Did you see everyone?" she asked. "Jasper is here, and Emmett and Rosalie. But I know you guys saw one another a fair amount in college."

"Yeah, we hung out from time to time. How are they?"

"Actually," she said, and her voice dropped a bit. "I didn't know that Emmett and Rosalie had broken up after college. It's a bit touchy."

"Yeah, I heard about that," I said. I had moved to Northern California after graduation, but I kept in touch with Emmett and Rosalie, albeit separately. They often mentioned each other, but I never asked about the circumstances of their breakup. Given the secrecy surrounding my own relationships, and the fact that I never really discussed that aspect of my life with them, I didn't feel the need to ask questions.

"Well, you know me…I'm working on it," she added with a sigh.

"You aren't using your matchmaking skills on me, I hope," I said, eyeing her suspiciously.

"No," she replied. "Although I saw Bella here earlier."

My breath caught in my throat at the sound of her name, and I wondered if Alice noticed. Alice knew everything, but she hadn't seen me in a long time. Maybe she had lost the ability to read me as well as she once had.

"Hmm, maybe I should work my magic on you," she said, a sly grin on her face. Well damn, apparently she hadn't lost her touch.

"I'm all set, Alice," I said, enjoying the amusement she derived from this.

"Well," she said, mercifully changing the subject—for now, at least. "Which cabin are you staying in?"

I cleared my throat. Did Alice know _everything_? No, of course not. Bella wouldn't have said anything, unless she had taken an impromptu nap on the front lawn and talked in her sleep as much as she usually does.

"Uh, the honeymoon suite, I think." Shit. It sounded so embarrassing when I said it out loud.

"Really? They told me that room was booked. It's booked every year."

"Oh," I said, an edge of panic rising in my voice. Of course it was booked every year—by me. "Maybe I should check with the front desk, just to be sure."

"Well, if it is, you can stay with Emmett. He has a spare bed in his room."

"Somehow I don't think Emmett is going to be spending his high school reunion alone," I said. "He has a reputation to uphold."

"Yes, well, he needs to work out his issues with Rosalie first. Maybe over cards later?" she caught my gaze, her face cheerful and radiant.

"You know I can't deny you anything, Alice."

She paused, and cocked her head slightly to look at me. "I missed you, Edward. We all missed you."

I sighed. "I'm sorry, Alice. I'll make an effort…somehow."

"Okay," she said, turning toward the crowd. "I'll let you mingle a bit." And then she smiled sweetly and headed off into the woods, leaving me alone, wondering where the hell the last five years went.

***

I decided I needed to work out this rooming business, _immediately_. This could get hairy as fuck. And where was Bella staying, now that Alice knew the room was booked? Not only that, but neither of us was ready for everyone to see us strolling into the honeymoon suite together. Neither of us was ready for a lot of things.

Denali smiled warmly as I entered, but thankfully, he said only a few generic words of welcome. This guy had a sixth sense of some sort, and while it was a little fucking weird, I silently thanked him for it.

As he handed me my key, he gestured toward the dining room.

"It's late," he said. "Please, help yourself to whatever you like." He smiled and walked out, putting his sign up as he went. He had clearly waited for me, which I realized as the grandfather clock chimed loudly, signaling a very late hour.

I walked over to the closed doors, and opened them slowly. I looked around the dark, deserted room, my eyes resting on a particular table in the corner. But Bella wasn't there, as I had expected. I thought Denali was giving me some kind of secret signal about where to find her, but I had clearly overestimated him.

"Boo!" came a high-pitched, giggly squeal behind me. I jumped like a fucking baby and whirled around to see Bella standing there, her face illuminated by the gentle light of room. I smiled crookedly, mock anger on my face.

"I'm going to get you for that," I growled, as I picked her up and kissed her deeply, inhaling her luscious, intoxicating scent.

"You were _scared_," she teased, smiling impishly as I very slowly, very unwillingly, broke the kiss. Taking my lips off her never came easily to me.

"I was pretending," I said.

"Oh, Edward," she chided. "You're a dreadful liar."

She was getting a little sassy with me, and that shit was turning me on. I had no problem with re-christening the dining room; hell, it could use a little spicing up. But I could hear the voices outside—some of them fairly drunken—and I knew that if someone walked in on us, I wouldn't even notice. Once Bella had me in her clutches, she had me completely.

A low groan escaped my throat as I pulled her to me, feeling the bulge in my pants harden as her hips met mine. It really wasn't healthy for us to be apart like this; time and distance made us too insatiable for our own good.

So I forced myself to pull away, holding her warm little hand in mine as I gazed into her deep, intelligent eyes. This weekend was going to be a challenge for the both of us, and it had hardly even started.

"So…"I began. "Apparently the honeymoon suite is booked," I said.

"Yes, it is."

"Which means…"

"Which means I'm technically sharing a room with Rosalie this weekend."

"Technically?" I arched an eyebrow.

"It's my cover."

"Ah," I mused, grasping where this was going. "So, technically, I am probably sharing a room with Emmett."

"Yes, _technically_," she said, "that is true."

"Somehow I have a feeling we're both going to be exiled from our respective rooms," I hinted, a little smirk appearing on my face.

"That was my prediction, also." The teasing lilt in her voice was becoming a huge turn on.

"So then," I said, and Bella blushed at the huskiness in my voice. "I think we should keep our honeymoon suite, just in case."

"I think so," she said coyly. "See you there in an hour?"

Before I could speak, she stood up on her toes and kissed me softly on the lips, and then turned to walk out. Her slender, perfect hips swayed teasingly as she walked, and she looked back once to give me a knowing, taunting smile. She left me standing there, my heart pounding, my breath ragged. What a tease, I thought. What a hot, sassy, irresistible tease. I sat down to catch my breath, the faint ticking of the clock thundering in my head.

***

Once the thick fog of lust cleared from my senses, I headed out into the trees, following the sounds of voices in the distance. I somehow ended up at the sauna, and memories of that night six years ago flooded my memory. Jasper emerged from the little wooden hut, drenched in sweat, his eyes hooded as he stumbled toward the dock. He threw himself in with a loud splash and scrambled out almost immediately.

"Whoa, dude!" he said, when I appeared with a grin at the end of the dock. "You scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry, Jazz," I joked, and he stomped toward me, taking me in a very manly hug—at least, that's what both of us would tell ourselves later.

"How long's it been, man?" he said, shaking the water from his wet blonde hair.

"Too long," I said.

"Fuck yeah, it's been too long. Can you believe we're at our fifth-year reunion? I feel like a geezer at twenty-three."

"You look like one, too," I said, assessing his pale chest. I chuckled.

"Shut up, Edward. We can't all look like Rambo," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Uh, Rambo?"

"Look, I can't think straight after sitting in that thing. Even Emmett beat me," he groaned, as Alice and Emmett stumbled out of the hut, breathing heavily.

"Look what I dug up, guys," Jasper said, gesturing towards me. He grinned.

"Edward! You found us!" Alice squealed.

"Wasn't too hard," I said, smiling warmly at her. "I know how Emmett seeks out anything involving water."

"Dude. Low blow," Emmett grumbled, but Jasper was stifling a laugh. Suddenly we were all laughing, remembering Emmett's girly fears, sharing stories about life jackets and cruises and a thousand other things. It was so fucking good to see them again, I realized. All of them. I silently thanked Bella for urging me to come, for making this work somehow, no matter the complications.

We alternated between hanging out in the sauna and screwing around in the bay, while Emmett passed around as many beers as he chugged. Jasper and Alice seemed so completely at ease, completely happy. I was so happy for her, and for him, too. I envied the simplicity of it, though. My life was so far from simple.

"So, Emmett," Jasper started, a sly look on his face. "What is the story with you and Rosalie?"

"There is no story," he said, trying to sound casual. But his eyes darkened with hurt, and I knew immediately that there was. There definitely was.

"Don't you think you should at least talk to her?" Alice asked.

"Nah," he said. "It's complicated."

_Complicated_? I had a feeling Emmett didn't know the first fucking thing about complicated. Groaning audibly, I realized I needed to do a better job of containing my frustration.

"It's just a weekend, Emmett. I think you can manage a conversation with her," Alice pressed, very gently.

"I don't know…" he said, avoiding Alice's gaze. How could anyone say no to Alice? It was impossible—I knew this first-hand.

"Please, Emmett? I would love it if we could all hang out together this weekend," she pleaded.

"Well…maybe," he grumbled.

"Yay!" she exclaimed, bringing him into her pale, tiny arms. "I'm very relieved because she'll be here in ten minutes."

"What?!" he grumbled. "Alice, fuck, I need some time to prepare!"

"No, you don't. You're perfectly charming the way you are," she said, smiling sweetly. Jasper rolled his eyes, and I stifled a laugh.

"Yeah," he said. "That's true."

"Hell, Emmett, I wanted to date you in high school," Jasper joked.

"Get in line," he said, and we were all laughing again. Just like old times.

***

"Hey, guys," came a very feminine, very recognizable voice behind us. "Am I interrupting something?"

It was Rosalie, but I barely noticed her standing there, twirling her long blond fingers in her hair. I barely noticed because Bella was standing beside her, her eyes on mine, her face utterly luminescent in the flickering light of the fire. She smiled so infinitesimally that only I could see it, just as she had intended.

"No, Rosalie, not at all!" Alice said, smiling brightly. "We were just talking about you."

"You were?" she asked, glancing at Emmett.

"Just about some of the crazy shit you guys did in high school," Jasper interjected, eliciting a deep sigh of relief from Emmett.

"Oh," she said. "Yeah, well, it doesn't come close to the crazy shit we did in college," she smirked. Emmett's eyebrows rose, a small smile forming on his lips.

"Like what?" Jasper asked.

"I don't kiss and tell," Rosalie said coyly.

"We could always….force you," Jasper smirked.

"Oh?" she said.

"I think a drinking game is in order," he snickered.

"Never Have I Ever?" Alice suggested.

"Nah," Jasper said with a dismissive wave. "This is a high school reunion, not college."

"Then what's on your mind, Jazz?" I asked, stealing a glance at Bella as she absorbed the exchange. She looked tense; I couldn't blame her.

"Truth or Dare."

"Dude, what is this, sixth grade?" Emmett huffed.

"No, more like…tenth grade. Come on guys, it'll be fun. Just go with it."

Everyone rolled their eyes in unison except for me and Bella, who stood in rigid silence. She looked at me warily, her eyes a mask of uncertainty and panic. I wasn't sure I could handle the truth about the last five years of Bella's life, including all the time I had missed; by the look on her face, I could sense she felt the same.

"I'll play," she said, and I nearly choked on my own saliva. Shit, I hadn't expected that. I didn't want to look like the pussy of the group.

"Me too," I said, forcing a casual tone. Without looking in my direction, Bella sat next to me with a blank, unreadable expression on her face, and smiled placidly at Jasper. Well, then. Two could play this game.

"Excellent," he said, grinning smugly. "Then I'll start. So, Emmett."

Emmett's back went rigid, his eyes narrowing as Jasper stared him down. Alice looked down at her hands, but I could see the hint of a smile on her face. I wondered how much planning had gone into this; something told me she was on a matchmaking mission of some sort, and Jasper was her accomplice.

"What?" Emmett grumbled.

"Truth or dare?"

"Uh…truth. No, dare," he stammered, growing flustered. "Look, whatever you want, Jasper. I don't give a shit."

"Okay, good. Let's start with truth. So…give me an example of this crazy college shit you were talking about."

Emmett was still scowling at Jasper, but I could see his face brighten a bit. He glanced over at Rosalie, her serious facade disintegrating fast.

"Well, Rosalie and I entered a couples stripping contest once," he said. Alice cleared her throat and Jasper suppressed a laugh. Bella was staring at the table, but I could see the amused smile on her face.

"And we won," he said devilishly.

"Wow," Jasper said, clearly entertained. "Well done, man."

"It was all Rose, really. I can personally vouch for her stripping skills," he said, brightening at the sight of Rose's satisfied smile. Alice's plan was already working beautifully.

"Aw, thanks," Rosalie mumbled, toying with her hair, gazing longingly into his blue eyes. This game wouldn't last long.

"Okay, your turn, Emmett. Pick your victim," Jasper said.

"Hmm," he said, clearly enjoying himself now. "Edward, truth or dare? By the way, Jasper, I feel like a four-year-old every time I say those words."

Jasper rolled his eyes, and I froze. What was the safest approach? Would I even tell the truth? What if I said something that hurt Bella in some way, even without realizing it? A dare didn't sound too appealing either, given Emmett's particularly dirty mind. Both options were fucking horrible.

"Truth," I said, before my brain had time to stop me.

"I knew you were going to say that, you pussy," Emmett said, glowering at me. He always thought in terms of actions instead of words. Well, hopefully he would come up with a woefully inane question.

"Best sex you ever had—time, place, girl."

Even in the dark of night, I noticed Bella's face flush a delicate pink as she returned her gaze to the table. I shifted in my seat, searching for the right words. I had a thousand answers to that question, and they all involved a common theme. But I couldn't possibly give all that away.

"That's a lot of info, Em," I said, challenging him.

"Okay, fine. Give a general description, then." What a softie. Jasper never would have backed down. He knew it, too, which I could tell by the smirk on his face.

"Best sex I ever had was…in a bed," I said. "With a girl I was hopelessly in love with."

"Man, that's cheesy, lame, and boring as fuck," Emmett grumbled.

"Well, I don't give a shit. It's true." I stole a glance at Bella, but her face was turned slightly away from mine, and I couldn't see her expression. I felt my throat tighten. Was it wrong that I said that? Was she hurt? Angry? Fuck. This game was going to destroy me.

"Anyway, my turn's over," I groaned. "Alice, choose."

"Um…" she mused. "I'll stick with the theme of truth."

"Okay, good." I wanted to take some of the heat off me.

"What's the nicest thing Jasper has ever said to you?" I didn't know where the hell that came from, but I realized I wanted to know. Alice was a wealth of compliments, praise, and genuine kindness; I had to know if someone in her life was reciprocating.

She turned toward Jasper, her eyes ablaze with warmth and devotion. She smiled a soft, radiant smile that lit up her face.

"The nicest thing Jasper has ever said to me is, 'I love you.' I can't imagine any more beautiful words than that," she said softly.

Everyone was silent for a second as Alice's words settled in the air. If anyone else had said that, we might have chuckled at the cheesiness. But coming from Alice, her answer sounded so fucking…heartfelt. I envied Jasper in that instant; I envied him and admired him and respected him, more than I ever had.

"I do love you, Alice. I probably don't tell you enough," he said.

"You do," she murmured. "You don't have to say it for me to know."

I felt my stomach clench at her words, because all this time I had seen love as an impossibly complicated thing, but I realized at that moment how utterly wrong I was. Love was simple. It was so simple, that you could see it in someone's face. Hadn't I, at some point in my life, come to that same realization?

I fought the war of emotions rising in my chest as I tried to focus on Alice, who was staring directly at Bella. Her soft, pixie-like voice broke the silence, and Bella looked up slowly at the sound of her name.

"Truth or dare, Bella," she said.

She hesitated, clearing her throat. "Truth is fine."

"Okay," she said. "Don't worry, I'll go easy on you."

Bella managed a weak smile, but I could tell she was fighting to keep her composure. I had heard the shakiness in her voice, and I wanted to reach out and touch her, to tell her that I could explain it all, and I would, someday.

"What's your favorite place to go on this island?" she asked. I sighed—too loudly—with relief. This seemed like an odd, boring question.

"Oh, that's easy," she said. "The dining room." My stomach dropped a mile at her words, and her face flushed a bright pink an instant later.

"The dining room?" Alice asked. "I've never even been in there."

"Um, " Bella stammered. "I…ate there the last time, I mean, the first time we were here…it's nice," she mumbled.

"Oh," Alice said, glancing at Jasper. He had a bored look on his face, like he had expected much more from his clever girlfriend. I was thinking something entirely different, though. And I felt the little seed of worry growing in my gut, rising in my throat as I met Alice's eyes in a deep, questioning stare. She _knew_.

"I guess it's my turn," Bella mumbled. "Truth or dare, Jasper?"

"I'm seeing a trend here, so…truth."

"Okay. When are you going to suck it up and ask Alice to marry you?" she asked, her eyes burning, a little smile on her lips.

My breath caught in my throat at such a bold question, but Jasper just laughed. "I already did, of course. I'm glad you reminded me. Guys, Alice and I are making it official."

"Really?" Emmett asked. It took me a minute to find some words.

"Alice, that's…that's great," I managed. I was thrilled for them, but distinctly disappointed that Alice hadn't told me herself. I wished, for the thousandth time that night, that I had been a better friend to her.

"I know," she said, beaming. "Don't worry, you're all invited to the wedding."

Bella and Rosalie hugged her like old friends, and I had a feeling they already knew. Maybe everyone already knew, except me. I forced a smile and shook Jasper's hand, offering the sincerest congratulations I could offer. A thousand different emotions swirled in my head, clouded by the scent of Bella next to me, complicated by the happiness on Alice and Jasper's faces. Could I have it, all of it, if I had the fucking balls to reach out and take it?

"Okay, okay, enough about that," Jasper said. "We have sixty years to talk about married life. It's my turn, and I'm picking on Rosalie."

"Great," she moaned.

"So, Rose, who partied harder in college? Edward or Emmett?"

"Emmett," she said. "Emmett partied harder because Edward was only happy two weeks out of the year. The rest of the time, he was kind of moody."

"I was not moody, Rosalie," but I felt that familiar unease return.

"Yes you were, except for those two weeks."

"Which two weeks?" Jasper asked. Naturally. I couldn't catch a break with this crowd.

"Right before school started—like, the middle of August."

"Maybe he just loves school," Emmett offered. Thank god for his consistently off-the-mark analysis.

"He's right, Rosalie. I just love school."

"Uh huh," she said, rolling her eyes. "Well, that's my answer, and I'm changing it up. I'm enforcing a dare on Alice."

"Is that allowed?" Emmett asked.

"Well, according to the handbook—" Jasper explained, his words punctuated by his riotous laughter.

"Shut up, asshole," Emmett said, but he failed to suppress a grin.

"Anyway," she began, "I dare Alice to kiss Jasper…on his bare ass."

"Ew," Jasper said, and we all gave him an odd look.

"That's pretty bad if you think your own ass is nasty," Emmett commented.

"I have a very nice, smooth, tight ass, okay?" he said, attempting to recover. "I just don't want to get cold."

"It's okay, Jasper. I'll do it," Alice said. Again, I could see her furious brain ticking. This girl was always up to something. And, just as she said she would, she exposed Jasper's pasty ass to the world and placed a delicate kiss on his left cheek.

"I kinda liked that," he said, smirking at her. She giggled.

"My turn again?" Alice asked sweetly. "Hmm, okay." She paused to think, but I knew that Alice had a whole slew of questions lined up in her mind.

"Bella, I have another one for you." This was too much. I needed to put an end to this somehow.

"Is it okay if I stick with the kissing theme? It reminds me of high school," she explained. Bullshit, Alice. Bullshit!

"I dare you to kiss….Edward, for at least two minutes, and if it's any less than an R-rating, it doesn't count."

"R-rating?" I interrupted. "We aren't having sex on this table, Alice."

Bella blushed a hot, sizzling red, and I felt my nerves prickle. Did she want to have sex on this table? That could be arranged later on…

"Okay, PG-13, then," she said.

"Alice," Bella began, her voice quivering slightly. "I don't—"

"It's okay if you don't want to do it, Bella," Alice said, giving her an out if she wanted one. My heart sank a little bit; I was actually disappointed.

"I was going to say I don't want to force Edward to do anything he's uncomfortable with," she said softly, turning towards me with that impudent little gleam in her eyes. Visions of her and those sex eyes, and the events that always ensued, danced in my head.

"I'm fine with it," I managed, but my voice was hoarse and I prayed that no one picked up on that.

"Good," Bella said, a smirk forming on her lips. "Let's get it on, then."

We will, I thought. Oh, we definitely will. Before that could happen in a more appropriate setting, though, this would have to do.

I leaned in slowly, feeling their watchful eyes on our faces, as Bella's lips met mine in a soft, tremulous kiss. But as soon as she touched me, the outside world disappeared completely, as it always did, and every fiber of my being responded to her soft, full lips. I begged for access to her mouth with my tongue, and she parted her lips slowly, teasingly. A low groan escaped my throat, and if we didn't stop this soon, our carefully constructed lie might finally crumble completely, exposing us for what we were. Lovers who escaped to this place year after year, searching for something we couldn't articulate, leaving the rest of the world behind. I knew no one would understand. I couldn't let that happen, not now. Not ever.

So I pulled back slowly, savoring the taste of her as our lips parted. She smiled contentedly, and I grinned. That was a good fucking kiss, audience or not.

"Wow," Jasper said. "Honestly, I'm kind of turned on right now."

"Yeah, man. Can we make out later?" Emmett joked.

He stole a glance at Rosalie, who was actually licking her lips. A sly smile creased her face, and Emmett shifted a bit in his seat. I had a feeling that Couples Truth or Dare usually ended like this.

Alice said nothing, but her face was happy, serene. I wanted to say something else right then, but it would have to wait.

"All right," Bella said, her cheeks red from embarrassment, or maybe the kissing. I couldn't be sure. "Thank you for the kind reviews. In the final question of the night, I dare Rosalie and Emmett to find the dining room, to prove to you all that it exists."

"Now?" Rosalie asked, but she didn't seem at all opposed to the idea.

Bella nodded, and Emmett shrugged. "Works for me," he said, glancing at Rosalie, who was waiting expectantly for Emmett to follow. "Uh, just a second, Rose," he said, turning his gaze on me.

"Can I, uh, have a word with you, Edward?"

I rolled my eyes, anticipating the conversation. "Sure."

He pulled me aside as Alice and Jasper rose from their chairs, and he draped his arm around her slight, delicate frame.

"We're going to bed, guys. See ya," Jasper announced. I caught Alice's smile as they headed off into the woods, the sound of the bay against the shore quickly drowning the sound of their footsteps. I knew Alice would come for me tomorrow, demanding an explanation, but at least I had tonight.

"So, uh…" Emmett began. "I know we're sharing a room, but you know…if Rosalie is receptive to certain things—"

"I got it, Emmett. I won't wait up for you."

"And Rose said that Bella took a spare room that opened up, so she won't be sexiled or anything."

"Sexiled? I haven't heard that word since high school," I said.

"Whatever. It still applies. I just didn't want to put you two in an awkward position…or whatever," he added in a hushed tone.

"I appreciate that, Em. Have a good night," I smirked.

Bella was standing there in the cold, eyeing me as I negotiated with Emmett.

"Yeah, okay, I'll catch you tomorrow," he said, feeling Bella's eyes on him.

"Yup," I said, watching as Edward and Rosalie disappeared down the path. Only Bella remained, and my breathing picked up unconsciously as I admired the gentle curve of her hips and the teasing in her eyes.

"Come here," she whispered.

"Finally," I said, pulling her to me. The sea breeze whipped through her hair, and I rubbed her back to warm her, feeling her heart race in response.

"I want to commend you on that dare," I said.

"The one that made everyone disappear? Or the one that gave you a massive hard-on in front of your friends?" she asked, her voice a delicious mix of sass and seduction.

"Both," I said hoarsely.

"Well," she murmured. "No one ever said the game was over."

"Are you going to dare me to do something?" I asked, grazing her jaw line with my lips, feeling her breath catch.

"Yes," she gasped.

"And what is that?" I teased, tasting her skin with my tongue, eliciting a low moan from her throat as I slid my hand under her shirt.

"You'll see," she said breathlessly, her soft moans saturating the cool air. "The dares I intended for you will take all night."

***

**Saturday is next...**


	15. August 14, 2015 cont

**A/N**: This is the rest of the weekend...

Thanks as always to those who review - it makes me so, so happy to hear your input! :)

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight.

***

**Chapter 15 – August 13, 2015 (cont.)**

**BPOV**

I woke up to the sound of the breeze rustling the covers, the first rays of the morning sun warming my face. Edward always said that dawn was the best time of the day, and after a few sunrises in his arms, I had come to agree. His arms were around me, but I had my back to him, and I wondered if he was awake. He almost surely was; Edward never seemed to sleep, at least not here. I could feel his steady breathing on my neck, and my heart thundered in my chest.

"I can hear that, Bella," he whispered, pulling me closer. I smiled to myself, and his hand roamed down my shoulder to the curve of my hips. I shivered, but not from the chill of the room. I let the silence linger, because I wanted to hear his voice in the stillness of the early morning, when everyone was asleep—everyone except us.

"You were sleepwalking last night, you know," he said. "I saw you get out of bed and walk over to the window, and you sat in that chair."

My eyes widened at his words, but I said nothing. I wanted Edward to finish the account because, well, it simply wasn't true. I waited patiently, breathing as steadily as I dared, and he continued.

"You didn't speak at first…you just gazed out the window into the night. I wanted to wake you and take you back to bed, but I couldn't bring myself to disturb you…you were so exquisitely…peaceful, sitting there."

The feathery touch of his fingers found its way to my abdomen, making my breath hitch. I was ticklish as hell, and Edward knew it, but he wasn't playful this time. His caress was smooth, amorous, and very serious.

"And then, it was strange…I don't know, even now I have trouble believing it, but you turned toward me and opened your mouth to say something, but…you hesitated," he said. "You were looking right at me, even though you were asleep. I wanted to say something to you, to break you from your trance, but I was so mesmerized by the expression on your face that I couldn't say anything…I literally couldn't get any words out."

I felt his hand traversing my abdomen and I suddenly gripped it tightly in my own, which made him gasp. I turned over to face him, his eyes smoldering in the faint morning light, his eyes wide at my sudden movement.

"You were dreaming, Edward," I said, my tone serious, fighting against the excitement in every fiber of my being. Edward _never_ dreamed, which saddened me because my dreams were so vivid, so intense, and always involved him. I knew that he envied me; he said so every morning.

He studied me intently, his eyes narrowed in confusion. He finally smiled and waved his hand dismissively.

"Come on, Bella. I saw you there, by the window. I saw your face more clearly than I ever have. Dreams aren't like that."

I smiled and brought my hand to his cheek, memorizing—for the thousandth time—the distinctly strong, magnificent structure of his face.

"Dreams _are_ like that," I said. "I know because in my dreams, I see you the way I see you now—more clearly, even, without all the distractions of the real world."

"I don't dream, Bella," he protested gently.

"Maybe I…inspired you," I said softly.

"You always inspire me," he said, and his crooked smile sent a delicious chill down my spine.

I shifted closer to him, taking his hands in mine, bringing it up to my lips so that I could kiss the source of so much pleasure, and so much comfort. He had such strong, beautiful hands, and I never felt like I paid them the attention they deserved.

"It wasn't real, Edward," I said, bringing him back to the image of me by the window, "because I would never leave you. Even my unconscious knows that."

His eyes blazed in the soft light, his gaze so intense that I thought I might self-combust in his arms. The denial in his expression faded, replaced by the subtle realization of the truth, that for the first time, he had broken through his dark, dreamless sleep. And I smiled, selfishly, because he had dreamed of me.

My heart leapt as a knowing, rapturous smile appeared on his face, and I shifted ever so slightly, pulling him with me. He followed my lead and hovered over the length of my frame, his bronze hair dangling over his forehead, his gloriously naked body pressed against me. I was breathing heavily now, and the familiar moisture appeared between my legs, hot and wet and directly against his growing erection. I whimpered as he settled a bit lower, and I could feel the tip of him against me, taunting me…

"Edward," I moaned softly, as he leaned down slowly to muffle my sounds with his deliciously wet, anxious lips. He kissed me slowly, passionately, and pulled away when I gripped his hips, pulling him down to me.

He clicked his tongue and shook his head, a devious smile on his lips. He placed soft, wet kisses on the curve of my jaw, then traveled down to the pulsing veins in my neck and the span of my shoulders. He continued his downward journey over the peaks of my breasts, gently biting and teasing, and then further still, because he had a destination in mind and I trembled just thinking about it.

But Edward excelled at the art of teasing, and he tormented me quite exhaustively as he danced his tongue along the insides of my thighs and every other place that wasn't right where he knew I wanted him. I moaned his name in protest, tangling my fingers in his hair with a little yank to concede this battle of wills, which I always lost.

I cried out when he finally got there, and I whimpered his name as the furious strokes of his tongue brought me closer to my release, the tension building in waves of hot, frenzied lust. I could feel the edge coming now, and I writhed against him as he steadied my thighs with his hands, bringing my ass back down to the mattress. When I came, I lost all sense of time and place except for the sensation of Edward so close to me, but I wanted him closer still. As I rode out the waves of pleasure that filled me everywhere, he looked up with a wicked grin and tumbled onto the covers beside me.

"That was the dream I should have had," he teased, a thin line of sweat lacing his brow.

"No," I said, rolling on top of him, perched above his erect, throbbing cock that ached for entry. "This is."

It was a _very_ satisfying sunrise.

***

I awoke several hours later to the sound of a loud, persistent knock at the door. I nearly shot out of bed, groaning loudly when my head bumped into Edward's, who had the same look of surprise on his face. Someone had clearly come to find me—or at least, I hoped so, because I was the only one who was supposed to be here.

"Dammit," he cursed under his breath, knocking his shin against the frame as he scrambled out of bed. "Let's hope your visitor doesn't have to take a monster piss."

He smiled playfully at me, and closed the bathroom door behind him. It looked like I was on my own for this one.

"Just a second!" I called toward the door, and I ripped apart my suitcase in search of some decent clothes. I soon realized that the place was completely littered with clothing, including Edward's belt and my bra, which was hanging on the mantle like a skanky Christmas stocking. I scanned the room one final time before I opened the door, my face red, my breaths coming in quick, frantic pants.

"Oh, hi, Bella," Alice said brightly. "I didn't mean to disturb you."

"Disturb me? Oh, no, you didn't disturb me. I wasn't doing anything."

She arched an eyebrow, clearly skeptical. Of course she was—I was breathing harder than an asthmatic on Heartbreak Hill.

"I mean, I was," I stuttered. "I was doing some…calisthenics."

Alice smiled, but her eyes danced mischievously in the sunlight. "Okay," she said. "Anyway, I was just wondering if you wanted to get some lunch."

"Oh, um. Yeah, sure," I stammered.

"Great," she said. "There's a class picnic by the main inn."

I nodded and closed the door behind me, forcing a smile. I hated the sound of that door closing. It was the only memory of this place that brought me sadness, the only memory of good-bye.

***

"What time is it?" I asked, turning to Alice as we walked briskly toward the front lawn. I had completely lost track of time, as usual.

"It's almost noon," she said.

"Noon?!" I exclaimed. Edward and I never slept that much. It felt like wasted time.

"Don't worry," she said. "Plenty of lunch left."

"Oh," I mumbled. "Yeah, I get cranky when I'm hungry."

Alice smiled politely, but I knew there was something on her mind. And, knowing Alice, she never lasted longer than a few minutes without saying exactly what she wanted to say. It just wasn't in her nature to hold things in.

"Say it, Alice," I finally said. "Just spit it out."

Alice looked at me, her dark eyes troubled. My heart sank at the sight of them; Alice so rarely looked sad, or disappointed, or even the least bit unhappy. I immediately felt guilty for ruining her vivacious temperament.

"Bella," she began. "I'm not sure how to say this."

"It's okay, Alice," I muttered, although I could feel my throat tightening. That stupid game last night. She knew something. And then, suddenly, instantly, it dawned on me.

She _knew_.

"I picked this place for our reunion," Alice explained, interrupting my thoughts, "because it brings back such happy memories. For all of us," she said, in a soft, tiny voice. "I really just wanted us all to be together again."

"Okay…" I said, still unsure where this was going. I mean, I knew exactly where this was going, but Alice was taking her sweet time getting there.

"Not…_together_ together," she said, searching my eyes for understanding. "I wasn't trying to _complicate_ anything."

I raised my eyebrows. "Emmett and Rosalie?"

She allowed a little smile to play on her lips. "Okay, so…that was kind of intentional."

"I thought so," I said.

"But you and Edward…"

My heart dropped at the sound of his name, especially when it included a mention of me. I swallowed hard as Alice grasped my arm lightly and stopped us on the path, questioning my reaction with her kind, genuine face.

"I haven't told anyone, Bella. I would never tell anyone, not even Jasper."

Relief washed through me, but I struggled to maintain my blank, unwavering expression. "Tell them what?" I choked out, hoping that maybe Alice wasn't as astute as I knew she was.

She exhaled slowly, and her gaze settled on the trees in the distance. Again, I felt guilty for imposing on Alice's perpetually cheery, lighthearted mood. But I couldn't bring myself to apologize. I couldn't bring myself to tell her everything, because this—all of this—was just mine and Edward's. This time, this place, had always been completely and utterly ours. And as much as I adored Alice, I didn't want to share it.

"I understand, Bella, I do. I just want you to know that I love you both, and I would never judge you."

I glanced down at the ground, thinking of Edward and us and all the sacrifices we had made to come here. I didn't deserve Alice's love and support and adoration, especially since I had deceived her for years. Inexplicably, she didn't want an explanation, or an apology, and I wasn't ready to give one. I would come for a thousand more years if I knew Edward would be here waiting for me.

I didn't know what to say to her, so I said nothing. I just stood there in silence, feeling Alice's nonjudgmental eyes on me, hoping that Edward would somehow appear and make this right.

"Does anyone else know?" I asked, finally.

"No," Alice said.

"How long have you known?" I looked up tentatively, relieved to find her smiling kindly, her eyes warm and bright.

"A few years, I guess," she said. "Jacob almost followed you once, you know."

"He did _what_?" I asked, my eyes wide.

"Don't worry, I managed to…distract him." Her eyes gleamed, and I had to laugh. "But it was close."

I really didn't want to know how close, and Alice seemed to sense that by the grimace on my face.

"Thanks, Alice," I said softly.

She smiled and nodded, and we resumed our slow pace toward the front lawn. I made a silent promise to thank her, someday. I pictured us here on our fiftieth reunion, reminiscing about the nights of our youth, wondering how so many years had passed so quickly. And we would talk about this place, and our memories, and how Alice had protected the one thing I valued more than anything, the one place that nothing in my crazy life could touch…

"Oh, hey girls," Rosalie said, bounding up to us. She had some sex hair going on, and a little glow to go with it. I tried to suppress an amused smile, but failed.

"Hey yourself," Alice said, arching an eyebrow. "And how was your night?"

"Fun," she said, emphasizing the word like it had sex written all over it.

"You got into that extra room, right, Bella?" she asked, turning to me.

"Oh," I stuttered. "Yeah, not a problem."

"I mean, personally I think you should have gone to Emmett and Edward's room and hit that shit all night—"

My face flushed a deep red as Alice stepped in mercifully.

"Speaking of Edward," she said, "have you seen him?"

"He's playing cricket with Jasper and Emmett."

"You mean croquet?" Alice asked gently.

"It's the one with the big sticks and balls."

I couldn't help it. A giggle escaped my throat at her horrific choice of words, and Rosalie shot me a strange look. I cleared my throat.

"Are all the sticks the same size? Because from here, it seems like Jasper has the biggest one," Alice said sweetly, but her eyes were dancing with dirty delight.

"Yeah, it does look that way from here," Rosalie agreed. "Emmett got stuck with a really small stick, for some reason."

Alice and I burst into hysterics, and it took Rosalie a few seconds to catch on. She rolled her eyes, but soon she was laughing, too.

"Well, if we're going to be honest about this," she began, "Edward definitely has the biggest stick."

I nearly coughed on my own saliva when I heard Edward's name, especially when it involved Rosalie's assessment of his large…stick.

"What?" I squeaked.

"I mean, I haven't _experienced_ it," she added casually, "but, you know, I saw it once."

She _saw_ it? What the fuck was she talking about? I knew I was getting a little bit too possessive of Edward's dick, but seriously, this teasing tone of hers was driving me insane. Alice shuffled awkwardly, waiting for this odd exchange to resolve.

"Okay…" I said. "When did you see it?"

"Oh come on, Bella. You've seen it, too. And hell, it's probably grown since high school."

It grew quite a bit last night, actually, but I wasn't going to tell her that.

"I know, but…I just want to know," I said, trying to sound casual.

"Well, unfortunately, it was just for a second, at Emmett's place. Edward was over there with—"

I coughed loudly.

She looked at me oddly. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, fine. I'm sorry I interrupted you," I muttered, although I had done it instinctively. I didn't want to know who Edward was with, especially if it involved nakedness.

"I just walked in on him getting out of the shower, Bella. No big deal."

Alice and Rosalie's eyes were on me, studying my reaction as the familiar heat rose in my cheeks.

"Well, I don't know about you two, but I'm starving," Alice interjected.

Thankfully, Rosalie seemed to forget about our conversation as soon as Alice changed the subject, and a wave of relief filled me. It was stupid to belabor the point with Rosalie, but I had to ask. I didn't want to know about Edward's other girlfriends, and I could almost convince myself they didn't exist if I didn't know who they were, but Rosalie was a friend. And she epitomized the stunning, gorgeous blonde that every girl envied; she was everything I was not, in so many ways.

"Are you coming, Bella?" Alice asked, flashing me a warm smile.

I nodded, thinking of Edward. To him, I was everything she was not, and I felt a little better.

***

We spent the afternoon playing an array of athletic activities that I strenuously avoided, but I coordinated a few games of Asshole, Spit, Bullshit, and some other legendary card games. I never left Edward's side, and if it looked obvious, I didn't care. Aside from the tingling in my nerves and the constant pounding in my chest every time we touched, no one could possibly know the intricacies of our relationship. He held my hand under the table when we sat down for cards, and he whispered in my ear when no one was looking. And when he smiled crookedly, his emerald eyes smoldering with laughter and desire, my breath quickened and my heart raced. And he smiled wider, because he knew me so well.

When the beer ran out and the voices died down, Jasper once again announced his bedtime hour.

"Well, tools, I'm off to bed. And so is my lovely, perfect, shitty ass card player of a fiancé," he said, hugging her to him. Alice giggled in his arms, and she wobbled a bit, grasping his waist to steady her.

"Are you drunk, my dear?" he teased.

"Of course not," she slurred between giggles. Alice was a cute, happy drunk. It was hard to picture her any other way, really.

"Us, too," Emmett declared, stealing a lusty glance in Rosalie's direction. She twirled her sex hair with her fingers, preparing for another round.

I looked at Edward who was shaking his head in amusement, observing the drunken antics of his oldest friends. He turned to me and smiled, and he took my hand to guide me up from the table. Everyone was too drunk to notice, even Alice. Especially Alice.

Emmett and Rosalie had already left, but Jasper was standing there, eyeing Edward.

"Hey, can I have a word with you, man?" he said, sending me a glance that said, 'in private.'

"Uh, sure," he said warily, and I took the cue to stand with Alice at the edge of the campsite. I couldn't hear their conversation, but it was mercifully brief, probably due to Alice's drunken state. They walked up to us, and Jasper let Alice crawl onto his back, hiking her up around his waist.

"You might hurt yourself," she whined.

"You know, I just might. What are you, like 800 pounds?" he teased, rolling his eyes. Alice was tiny, but still self-conscious.

"Good night, guys," Edward said, sending them off into the woods. I heard Alice's giggles fade into the night, leaving the two of us alone by the fire.

He stole a furtive glance at me, and I was already smiling like a kid on Christmas morning, because the night was finally ours. He wrapped his arms around my waist, gratifying my need to feel him close to me. But he must have sensed the inkling of worry on my face, because he cocked his head a bit and waited for me to say something.

"What is it, Bella?" he prodded.

I hesitated, because I felt guilty about my exchange with Alice, and I wasn't sure why. Like I had let him down somehow.

"Alice knows about…this," I said finally, keeping my eyes fixed on his to gauge his response. What if Edward didn't want to do this anymore because Alice knew? What if this changed everything?

"I know," he said. Ugh. It seemed like everyone knew things but me.

"How?" I asked. "Did Jasper talk to you about it, just then?"

He chuckled, and I began to breathe a little easier.

"Jasper? No, he doesn't know anything. He wanted a guy's opinion on the quality of his ass."

"Really?"

"For the most part," he said.

"What about…the other part?"

"He asked me to be his best man."

I hadn't expected that, but a surge of relief—and delight—rushed through me.

"What did you tell him?" I asked excitedly, because visions of Edward in a tux were already floating in my head.

"I said I'd have to think about it."

My face fell. "Really? Why?"

A broad, amused smile appeared on his face. "Of course I said yes, Bella. It's a pretty easy job, except for the speech…and the date."

I tried to interpret the meaning in his eyes, but as always, Edward was impossible to read. So I decided to take the lighthearted route, instead of dwelling on the details of our lives outside this place.

"You know," I started coyly, "I like the idea of you in a tux."

He arched an eyebrow, as he always did when I teased him like this.

"Well, unfortunately they only seem to come out at proms and weddings…and Halloween, maybe."

"Yeah, it's a pity," I lamented.

"I'm not opposed to the idea of you in formal attire, either," he said, pulling me closer, warming me immediately.

"We should make sure all our friends get married, then," I said.

"Well yeah, I mean, we definitely want to take advantage of the free drinks, good food, wild dancing…"

"I won't be dancing."

"We'll see," he said with a smirk.

"Well, I like the ceremony—the singing, the flowers, the looks on the bride and groom's faces…like they can't wait to spend the rest of their lives together," I said, suddenly embarrassed. I would never admit to Edward that I had pictured our wedding day thousands of times, beginning with the day we met.

"I like that part, too," he said, his expression softening.

"Do you think you'll get married someday, Edward?" I asked, but my voice quivered with the words 'married' and 'Edward' in the same sentence.

"I don't know," he said. "I used to not think so, but now…I don't know."

"I think I'd like to get married someday," I said, almost in a whisper.

"You will, Bella. And you will make someone very, very happy."

"Will you come to my wedding?" I asked, mesmerized by the deep pools of green that gazed so intently, so puzzlingly, into my own.

"I don't know," he said, and my heart stuttered at his response.

He inhaled deeply, stroking my hair in the calm breeze. "How could I focus on anything but you in your wedding dress?'

He smiled crookedly, teasingly. How many times had I envisioned my wedding, surrounded by friends and family, marrying the man I wanted to spend my life with? I wondered if Edward had ever seen me as his bride, or even as his wife. Did men think about that? Did he?

"You could focus on the party afterwards," I murmured.

"I could," he said. "Or the best man's speech."

"Or the maid of honor's."

"Or the sloppy drunk on the dance floor."

"Or the good dancers."

"Or the wedding cake."

"Or the honeymoon," I said, unthinkingly. He hesitated, and I realized my mistake. I hoped that the darkness would hide the rampant blush on my cheeks.

"I thought this was _your_ wedding we were talking about," he said in a voice so low that I barely heard him.

"I guess it was," I admitted softly, my humiliation growing.

"Well, I wouldn't worry too much about the honeymoon," he said, grazing my cheek with his thumb.

I looked up, too flustered by the whole exchange to say anything.

"We've had seven honeymoons already," he whispered, and I could feel my heart racing, my body trembling as he brought his face towards mine. The familiar rush of feeling cascaded down my spine, and when his lips touched mine in a soft, delicate kiss, everything felt right again.

"And each one," he continued, "is a thousand times better than even the luckiest groom could ask for."

***

**A/N**: Happy Valentine's Day (or SAD, ie. Singles Awareness Day, which I shall be celebrating). :)


	16. August 13, 2016

**A/N**: I was going to hold off on this chapter until tomorrow, but it's extremely short, so...here it is.

Reviews will help me to update faster! ;) Especially since I have an exam next week, and things could get hairy.

Thanks to all who are reading - hope you're enjoying it!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight.

***

**Chapter 16: August 13, 2016**

**BPOV**

As soon as I saw his face, standing there in the dark, familiar room, I knew something was different. Not in a major way, or an obvious way, but in some way. His eyes were anxious, uncertain; was he nervous? Upset?

No matter how long I had known him, or how far we had come since the day we met, Edward's face was always a vast sea of emotions that I couldn't even begin to understand. He didn't suppress them, really. But he didn't showcase them, either. I never had any idea what he was thinking, and at times like these, it drove me positively insane.

I was sitting on the bed, dangling my legs impatiently, twirling my long, brown hair in my fingers. He was leaning against the door, looking agonizingly godlike as usual in his dark jeans and brown t-shirt. He ran his hand threw his hair, and I decided I couldn't fucking take it anymore.

"Edward, come here," I said quietly, but it was a command.

"I'm here," he said.

"No, I mean _here_." I slammed my hand down on the bedspread, willing him to make his way across the room. I wouldn't be able to think straight with him any closer than he already was, but I needed to feel him next to me. Seeing him so close, but so far away, was like being held just inches underwater, which had to be the worst drowning scenario imaginable.

Finally, painfully, he took a few steps toward me. What the hell was wrong with him? Why was he approaching me like I was some kind of dangerous stranger, waiting to ambush him in a dark alley?

When he was just a step away from me, he stopped. He was facing me, looking down into my eyes, an impossibly inscrutable look on his face.

"Say something," I said, my voice quivering.

"Bella," he began, but the word caught in his throat. I felt my chest tighten, my breathing stop. I knew that voice.

_Don't do this_.

"I can't just sit here while you—" I stood up, exasperated and upset, but he stopped me with his strong, steadying hands.

As soon as his skin touched mine, I felt the same familiar, dizzying current pulse through me like an electric shock. Heat flushed my face, but not from embarrassment. Not even close.

I just stood there in his arms, wordlessly, because it wouldn't do me any good to fight him now. I looked down, averting his penetrating gaze. My eyes were watering, and I didn't want him to see it. I didn't want him to see me cry, not this time.

"How long have we been coming here?" he asked me in a low, strained voice.

"Eight years," I murmured.

"Have you ever regretted coming here?"

"No," I said, almost in a whisper. "Never."

"Is there anything that would make you stop coming here?" he asked.

I finally looked up into his emerald eyes, those same ones I had fallen in love with seven years ago. I tried to find an answer there, to understand what he was thinking, why he was torturing me this way. And I knew the answer to his question; it was automatic, and always had been. Nothing could make me stop coming here to see him. _Nothing_.

"No," I said.

Again, he ran his hand through his tousled bronze hair, exhaling sharply.

"Nothing?" he asked.

"No," I said, slightly more loudly. My voice was shaking so hard that I knew just one more word would break it.

"Bella," he said, as quietly as his voice would allow. "I have to ask you something."

***


	17. August 13, 2017

**A/N: **So the answer to the last chapter's cliffhanger won't be answered here...but it will be later...

Thanks as always for reading and reviewing! Reviews make me feel like I'm making progress... :)

Also, not to be a cheesy tool, because I definitely blasted the Fray in my opening chapter, but their song "Never Say Never" reminds me of this story.

Here's a link: .com/watch?v=hzXUy0nljEw

Anyway, here ya go.

**Disclaimer**: Not mine.

***

**Chapter 17: August 13, 2017**

**EPOV**

When I found Bella, she was sitting at the edge of the dock, dangling her feet in the warm, calm water of the bay. Her back was facing me, and I just stood there for a few minutes, admiring her slender figure and the way her hair danced in the gentle breeze. At 25, she was more beautiful than ever, and just by looking at her, I could see that the last of her childish features were fading away. Her entire frame was more elegant, more feminine; maybe it was the curve of her hips, or the way her hair graced her shoulders. I couldn't really tell, but I was completely mesmerized by the image of her sitting there, oblivious to my presence.

I took a deep breath and stepped cautiously onto the dock, and I saw her back tense with the vibrations of the planks. But she never turned around, as I thought she might. She breathed heavily, releasing the tension from her shoulders as the breeze kicked up, and her body shivered with the cold. I walked a little faster.

When I finally reached her at the end of the dock, I stepped out of my shoes and sat down next to her, dangling my feet alongside hers. She kept her eyes on the blue, placid surface, making tiny splashes with the tips of her toes. She didn't get up, though. She just waited, playing with the water as though I didn't exist.

I had no fucking idea what to say, although I had thought about it a thousand times. So I just did the first thing that came to mind, because it seemed natural, and it felt right. I placed my hand on hers, feeling the warmth of her fingers, and the smoothness of her skin.

But it was the sharp edge that I felt the most, the tiny rock that jutted from her fingers and into my palm. I wasn't used to the feeling of something so hard, so concrete, on Bella's little finger. It was a strange sensation, one I hadn't felt in all our years here. But this year, of course, wasn't like the other years. This year, in every way that mattered, was different.

***

I wasn't sure how much time had passed before Bella stood up, her hand still in mine. I followed her lead and met her eyes briefly, before she turned wordlessly away from the water, and toward the cabin in the woods. I followed, because that was what she wanted me to do.

I never liked twilight, but the sun setting over the bay on this particular night was fucking magnificent, almost as breathtaking as the woman standing next to me. With each step, she tightened her grip on my hand, willing me to catch her if she fell.

She knew these paths so well, though, that she never fell anymore. And even though it was almost dark by the time we reached the cabin, she hardly glanced at the ground, focusing instead on our destination by the water's edge. I walked alongside her, studying the grace that had come to characterize her easy, delicate strides as the years had passed. Everything about her was different now, but also the same. Bella, somehow, struck a perfect balance between the two.

I could have walked with her all night, but I felt a sudden impulse to lift her up, to carry her in my arms. I don't know why I felt it right then. But I stopped abruptly, and scooped her up.

She gave me a questioning, surprised look, but I didn't say anything, and neither did she. I removed the key from her jacket pocket, placing it into the lock and turning the knob slowly. Bella had an irrational fear of finding someone else in her room, and she was painstakingly slow when it came to opening hotel doors. Denali had rented us this room for eight years, but old habits were hard to break.

This time, though, she was in my arms, and I dictated the pace. I didn't bother with the lights, although the last rays of the setting sun streamed in through the windows. I walked slowly toward the bed, the witness to our annual trysts in this place that had come to mean so much to the both of us. So much, really, that even after the events of last year, we both arrived at the same time, the same place, as we always had.

My heart pounded at the sight of the exquisite woman Bella had become; her chocolate eyes danced with mischief and maturity, and her skin was a flawless porcelain, tinged with red. I knew Bella's face better than any other, but it always took my breath away.

"I told you that nothing would stop me from coming here," she said, so quietly that I could barely hear.

She felt completely weightless in my arms, and I would have held her there forever if that was what she wanted. But I could feel desire raging in my veins, making my breath ragged, my heart race. She was so fucking beautiful, and tonight, she was mine. Completely mine.

I could see the delicate blush in Bella's cheeks, and her pulse quickened with the same need that I was feeling. I wanted to go slowly, to savor every second and every inch of her, but Bella had other ideas. As I placed her gently on the bed, she pulled me down roughly and kissed me with a passion that made every nerve in my body hum with desire. I lost myself in the sensation of her warm, smooth skin, and the feminine curves of her breasts, her back, her hips. I noticed these things as only a lover could—a lover of many years, who knew the intricacies of his beloved's body better than his own.

I took my time kissing her, caressing her, pleasuring her in every way I knew how. Slowly, I removed her clothing, and impatiently, she removed mine. I smiled at her impatience, but I also responded with vigor to her desire. If only she knew how hard it was for me to hold back, especially when she was lying under me, trembling with anticipation.

I stopped for a second to admire her lovely, naked form, as I always did. Her dark, chestnut eyes gazed up at me longingly, desirously, hooded with lust. I responded to the silent plea in her eyes, the one that moved me and tortured me and intoxicated me all at once. And when I entered her, slowly and completely, I thought of every one of the years that had brought me to this moment, to this place. To her.

***

Neither one of us wanted to sleep, not tonight, which was completely fine with me. Bella was lying on her side, a soft, radiant smile on her face, teasing my hair with her fingers. The gentle light of the moon fell on her face, and it was so magnificent that I had trouble breathing right, because I was the luckiest fucker in the world, and I didn't deserve this.

She moved her hand down to mine, intertwining our fingers, and I could feel the imprint of her little diamond in my palm. It felt so hard, so real, like a testament to the fact that things had changed, and would never be the same.

"You're married," I said, the words coming out in a low, tremulous voice.

She nodded, keeping her gaze locked on mine.

"Yes," she said. "Very recently."

"Your husband is a very lucky man," I said, recalling the words I had uttered just two years ago. And I meant them, of course. This man was the luckiest bastard in the universe.

"I'm a very lucky woman," she said softly. "I don't deserve him."

"He doesn't deserve _you_, Bella," I said, my voice firm, but fraught with emotion.

A soft smile graced her face, and she glanced up at me, ceding the argument. It was true, and I hoped she knew that.

"Are you happy?" I asked, my eyes burning into hers.

"Yes," she said. "I am happier than I've ever been."

My damn heart stalled again, but I managed to pull myself together. I had to, because I couldn't let Bella see how deeply her words were affecting me.

"Good," I said, drawing her chin back up with my fingers. I needed to see her face, to read her expression. I needed to know that she was telling the truth, because Bella deserved that. She deserved happiness, and the truth, and everything good that marriage could offer her.

"Edward?" she asked, running her fingertips over the gold band on my finger.

"Mmhm?" I murmured, returning her gaze. She looked so innocent, so insecure, that for a second, I saw seventeen-year-old Bella sitting on that bus, staring out the window in hopes that the rest of the world would just forget about her.

"Do you love her?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered, startled by the tears brimming in her eyes. "I love her very much."

She nodded, averting my gaze and all the emotion that had begun to surface there. She didn't look up again, but I heard her voice, soft as rain.

"Play for me," she whispered.

"Now?" I asked. "Are you sure you want to walk—"

She put her fingers to my lips, silencing me. Her hand traveled to my neck, and she pulled me down gently, meeting my lips in a soft, delicate kiss.

"Yes," she murmured. "Because I want to make this night last forever."

***

When we walked into the main inn, the lights were muted, and Denali had his sign fixed on the table. The dining room door was open, and we walked in, surveying the empty tables.

Bella tightened her grip on my hand and led me over to the grand piano, its keys slightly yellowed with use, but its strings tuned to perfection. Denali was on top of his shit, especially when he knew I was coming. One night a few years ago, with Bella's prodding, I even played for the dinner crowd. Bella told me I could use some ego stroking when it came to my music, although I didn't care what other people thought. But if Bella liked it, well, then I would play until my fingers were raw.

We sat down together on the bench, and she leaned into me, resting her head on my shoulder. I exhaled and placed my fingers on the keys, and the room filled with the low, melodious sound of the grand piano. Bella sighed, watching me play as I threw every emotion of the last day, the last week, the last year into the music that flowed from my fingers. Bella said it was the only time she could tell what I was thinking.

After what could have been minutes, or hours, she placed her little hand on mine, infusing the room with a sudden silence.

"I could listen to you all night," she said.

"We're getting there," I teased. The first rays of the sun were breaking the horizon, its quiet light reflecting off the walls.

"You're…apprehensive today," she mused.

I hesitated. I hadn't expected that.

"Why do you say that?" I asked, turning to her sleepy, inquisitive face.

"I don't know…it's like you don't know what's coming, and that makes you uneasy," she said.

"How about 'excited' instead?" I offered. "That sounds more positive."

"Hmm, that could work, too. But you also sound kind of…scared."

"Scared?" I asked, forcing disbelief. Shit, I really was transparent when it came to music. I was terrified, actually, but I didn't want Bella to know that.

"Mmhm," she nodded.

"Well, since I can read your face like a book, I'd say you're…content."

"That's a good word," she said. "I would have to agree with that."

"Why?" I asked. Seriously, why was Bella content, and I was terrified? Usually our emotions matched up.

"I think I'm in a good place right now," she said, her voice dropping as she glanced down at her fingers, running her thumb over the diamond ring.

A million different thoughts raced through my mind, and I probably hesitated a moment too long before saying anything. But seeing her face like that, studying her ring and all the things that it implied…well, it was almost too much for me to handle.

"That's good," I said, my voice unsteady.

"So what about you, Edward? Why do you feel…all those things?"

I shifted a little bit in my seat, fighting the urge to touch the keys, because Bella and the piano often had the same effect; I had to touch them, feel them, experience them, the way they compelled me to.

"I don't know," I said truthfully. "I guess I'm apprehensive because I finally feel like an adult now, and that scares me. I'm excited because I like change, most of the time. And I'm terrified because I see this ring on your finger, and I wonder what that means for us."

I turned to her, trying to read the response in her eyes. They glistened in the faint light of the room, and I felt my heart ache for her, because I wanted nights like this to last forever.

She didn't say anything, but I could tell that she, too, would have frozen this moment in time if she could have. But life wasn't like that, unfortunately. Already eight years had passed, and each one had changed us. And I wondered, at times like these, how much longer we could afford to escape from our lives so selfishly, and so completely.

"I'm scared, too, Edward," she murmured. "I think about us…I do."

She looked at me with such a staggering mix of emotions that it took everything I had not to look away, and I didn't know what I could possibly say to make this right. So I cupped her lovely face in my hands, sweeping her skin with my thumb as she closed her eyes, savoring every sensation that I could offer her.

I kissed her softly, gently, because it felt right. And for now, at least, I wasn't scared anymore.

***

**Uh oh, looks like they both got married...will this change things?**

**Please review! Thanks and happy reading!  
**


	18. August 13, 2018

**A/N**: So this chapter lightens up by the end...don't worry. I have a grand plan in mind, and it's harder than I thought it would be to make it right. But I think I've got it figured out.

Thank you as always for the kind reviews! I appreciate every one of them!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight.

***

**Chapter 18: August 13, 2018**

**BPOV**

It was a very warm, very humid night, and the sun was setting in a feverish glow over the horizon. I walked slowly up the main path in jeans and a tank top, relishing the warm air on my skin. It had rained constantly the last few weeks, and this was the first day I had seen the sun. I wondered if it meant something.

When I opened the heavy door to the main inn, Mr. Denali was standing behind the reception desk, reading his book. He had been waiting for me, I knew. At the sound of the door opening, he looked up and smiled.

"Welcome back," he said, rising from his chair. I walked over to the desk and reached into my purse, removing the familiar piece of paper indicating my reservation.

"How has the last year been?" he asked.

"Better than I could possibly ask for," I said, which was true. But I wondered if he could read the distant sadness in my voice.

"I'm glad to hear that, Mrs.—"

"Oh no, Bella is fine," I said. "After all these years, I hope you'll call me Bella."

He smiled warmly. "Of course," he said. "If you care for something to eat, the dining room is open."

"I think I'm just going to go to my room, actually. But thank you," I said. I was tired, exhausted even, and I could think only of the warm, familiar bed that awaited me in my room.

"Certainly," he said. "Have a lovely evening, Bella."

"You too," I said. "And thank you, Mr. Denali, for everything."

He nodded, and handed me my key with a polite, parting smile. I had only a few things in my tiny suitcase, and I wheeled it slowly out the door, and down the long, familiar path. I inhaled deeply, savoring the thick scent of the salty air and the tall pines. It comforted me, but nothing seemed to lift my heavy spirits. I had felt this way the whole summer, and while I knew the root of the problem, there was nothing I could do to fix it. And this week…well, this week had made everything so much worse.

I opened the key to the warm, dimly lit room, and I went immediately to the windows to let in what little breeze there was. I knew it would be uncharacteristically hot in here tonight, but I didn't mind. It made me forget about the rain, and my dark mood of the past few weeks.

Edward wasn't here, which made me uneasy as always, considering the possibility that for some reason, he wouldn't come this year. We never talked about this place at any other time of year, so neither of us knew until we got here if the ritual would end. That was one of the rules, one we had never broken. As anxiety-ridden as it made me, I understood its importance. It was the only way we could break the arrangement without imposing on the people, places, and events of our outside lives.

And our outside lives were complicated now, more complicated than they ever had been. High school seemed like an eternity ago, and I could hardly believe how simple my life had been back then. If only I had known then what I knew now. If only I had known how trying life could be sometimes.

But I also wished I could go back and tell my teenage self about all the incredible times ahead, because there were so many of those times, too. Maybe adulthood was just a mixture of extremes, more so than adolescence ever could be. And I liked it better that way, I decided. I liked it better because the good times were so very, very good.

Instead of waiting anxiously for Edward to arrive, I decided to take a shower to cleanse myself of the emotional rollercoaster of the past week. I didn't want Edward to have to deal with that. It wouldn't be fair to him, and besides, I hated the thought of ruining this weekend. It was our escape, and certainly not the place to dwell on our respective problems.

So I stripped down to nothing and turned on the water, studying my figure in the mirror as I waited for it to warm up. I really hated my body today, as I had for the last few months. I hated it because it had failed me. It looked the same on the outside, but on the inside…it was broken.

I stepped into the shower, savoring the chill of the water as it ran over my shoulders and down my back. It was cold, too cold, but I didn't care. I deserved a little punishment. I craved it.

I don't know how long I stood in there, but I could feel my stomach twisting as each minute passed, wondering where the hell Edward was. Was he not coming this year? Had something changed? Had he finally run out of excuses for the people in his life, just to come up here and see me? It sounded so vain, all of a sudden, to expect Edward to drop everything for me. He had for years, but maybe…maybe he had had enough.

I tried to shake the thought as I stepped out of the shower and wrapped the deep blue towel around me. I stole another glance in the mirror, examining the faint circles under my eyes and the crease of worry in my brow. It was a strange feeling, really, to be so happy, but to feel so defeated, all at once.

I turned from the mirror and walked into the dark room, but I didn't make it far because I fell right into Edward's strong arms, his familiar scent dizzying my senses as I struggled to slow my racing heart. He hugged me close, saying nothing, and I breathed him in, my spirits shooting through the roof because this was Edward, and he was here.

"Hey," he said, smiling crookedly.

"Hey," I breathed. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too," he murmured, his face just inches from mine, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. I knew then what I needed most, what I had needed all week, all month, all year. I stood on my toes and found his lips with mine, and I lost myself in the feel and the taste and the sheer perfection of him, knowing I might not be able to stop. But I did stop, finally, to lead him over to the bed, its covers rustling in the light breeze.

He said nothing as he kissed me softly, his fingers dancing on my warm, wet skin, his eyes burning in the white light of the moon. He removed my clothing slowly, gently, paying his undivided attention to every part of my body that was pulsing with need, want, and desire. And I let him do it, I savored it and relished it, and he understood.

He always understood, because he was Edward, and I was his.

***

Even though the sun had just set, neither one of us felt like leaving this room, or this bed. So we lay there facing each other, Edward's hand on my waist, his fingers caressing my skin, warm and moist from the heat of the room, and the preceding activities. He was so achingly, staggeringly beautiful, that I couldn't tear my eyes from his face. I smiled, because I was happy. I was _so_ happy, for the first time in weeks.

"Do you remember the first time we kissed…well, almost?" I asked.

"Our almost-first kiss?" he mused, a smile spreading on his face. "Why, yes, a certain memory comes to mind."

"I was kind of reminded of it just now," I said, thinking of Edward in that skimpy white towel, my face a hot, bright red when I saw him come out of that bathroom nine years ago. I felt like such an idiot sitting there, my mouth slightly agape at the sight of him.

"Me too," he said. "Although…I kind of planned it that way."

He smiled sheepishly, as though I had caught him red-handed. I looked at him quizzically, wondering why he would ever want to recreate that awkward first encounter.

"You did?" I asked. "Why?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I was just...thinking about that first trip here, and that memory sprung to mind. It took everything I had not to ravish you right then and there."

"You ravished me this time," I commented, a sly grin on my face.

"I couldn't resist," he said. "Apparently my seventeen-year-old self was stronger than my twenty-six-year-old self."

"Your seventeen-year-old self was mean," I said teasingly.

His face fell the slightest bit, thinking maybe I was telling the truth. He hadn't been mean, not at all, but he had been…moody. Time had changed that, most of the time.

"I know," he said. "I was a crazy little fucker back then. I'm sorry, Bella," he said, his eyes impossibly deep, his tone heartbreakingly sincere.

"Edward," I said, forcing him to look at me. "I loved you just the way you were."

"And now?" he asked, his tone lighter.

"I'm pretty fond of you," I said, a playful smile on my face.

He sighed in relief, but I knew his teasing expression all too well.

"I'm pretty fond of you, too," he said.

"I know," I said softly, my tone more serious now. I took a few wayward strands of his hair in my fingers, brushing them from his striking green eyes. I needed to see them to understand Edward; it was the closest I could come to understanding his emotions. He kept them so deep, so hidden. It infuriated me sometimes, especially since he could read me so well, although that hadn't always been the case.

"Is everything okay, Bella?" he asked, studying me intently. "I mean, are _you_ okay?"

I moved my hand from his hair and placed it lightly on his hand, feeling the metallic clang of my ring against his. I thought of my marriage, and I thought of his. How things had changed.

"I'm okay," I said truthfully, feeling the intensity of Edward's concerned gaze on mine. "At times, I'm so happy that I can't believe my life is actually real."

"But other times?" he asked.

I hesitated, taking a deep breath to calm the war of emotions raging inside me.

"Life is hard sometimes," I said, the slightest quiver in my voice.

"How?" he pressed. The alarm in his voice made my heart ache, because I didn't want Edward to worry about me. Especially not here, not now. But at the same time, I wanted to tell him everything, because I knew him better than I knew myself. But it concerned my outside life, and that was against the rules.

"I don't know…" I trailed off, conflicted.

"Bella," he said, cupping my face in his hand. "You can tell me anything."

"I know…" I said. "I just…it's been hard, these last couple months."

He waited for me to continue, his expression a torturous mix of concern, patience, and affection. Of course he knew I would tell him everything. I couldn't deny Edward anything, even now, when the truth would hurt us both.

"I want a baby," I said in a whisper, my voice shaking now. "But I can't…I can't get pregnant."

My eyes were watering, and although I had cried about this a thousand times, I hadn't found a way to stop. I wanted a baby so badly, more than almost anything I had ever wanted, and I felt like a barren woman. I _was_ a barren woman; I was a failure, to me and to my husband.

I finally looked up at Edward, perceiving the strain in his face, and the hesitancy in his eyes. He didn't know what to say, because there was nothing to say. He couldn't fix this. No one could.

"It's not your fault," he finally managed, but his voice was full of so much angst and pain that I couldn't bear to look at him.

"It is," I said. "It is because I went to the doctor this week, and he told me…he told me it's me..."

The tears were falling freely now, darkening the blue bedspread, reminding me of all the nights I had drenched my pillows with tears. But then Edward's arms were around me, drying my tears, and his warm, familiar voice filled my ear.

"Shhh," he whispered, holding me close, so wonderfully, impossibly close. "Don't give up, Bella. If you want a baby, you'll have one."

"But—" I said, choking the word out.

"You will," he said, his voice full of conviction, and hope, and comfort. He stroked my hair, my arms, my waist. His touch electrified my skin, warming me to my very core, and I believed Edward because he had never, since the day we had met, lied to me about anything. And he had never, in any way, let me down, even if this was something he could not control.

"Trust me," he said, his gaze unwavering. "Don't cry, Bella. Don't cry about this anymore."

In his arms, I felt my own strength rising, the strength I had called upon a thousand times in my life, each time making me stronger and wiser from the experience. These last few months had nearly broken me, but I would find my way back. Edward knew this, and he was telling me now; it had just taken me a little longer to realize it.

"Okay," I sighed, managing a smile.

"Okay," he said, his voice resolute. "I'm relieved, because crying did not fit in with my plans for us this weekend."

He smiled crookedly, his usual sign of mischief. I always saw teenage Edward in that smile, and it reminded me of the boy I had fallen in love with. And that was _always_ a welcome memory.

"And what are these 'plans'?" I asked, playing along.

"Well," he began, "Since this is the tenth year we've come here, I wanted to bring us back to our roots."

"Uh…" I started, but he clicked his tongue, shushing me.

"To distract us from the very real issues of our adult lives, I'm recreating our first weekend here," he said, a wicked grin on his face.

"Okay…"

"So I'm seventeen-year-old Edward, and you're seventeen-year-old Bella, and we just met."

"Uh oh," I said. "In that case, I kind of hate you."

He laughed, warm and genuine and completely contagious. That, too, hadn't changed at all in the last ten years. I felt like a weekend with seventeen-year-old Edward might not be a bad thing, after all.

"Hmm, maybe I should push it back to like…the day after we met," he mused. "You were in a better mood then."

"So were you," I chided.

"Yes, well, I was…hot and bothered," he said, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Well then, I will enjoy interacting with your sexually frustrated self all weekend," I smirked.

"I didn't say it started yet," he replied, his eyes glistening. "My little plan begins…in an hour."

And before I could say anything, he rolled me on top of him, my bare breasts grazing his magnificent chest, his breathing noticeably ragged.

"That works," I said, feeling my breath catch at the feel of him so close, so hard against me.

He smiled devilishly, and I gave in to the fire in his eyes, and the urgency in his voice. And I had a feeling, as he pulled me down to him, that no matter how hard teenage Bella might try to resist him, as she had done nine years ago, she would fail this time.

***

We woke up late, and in the spirit of Edward's plan, we parted ways after breakfast. Neither one of us was happy about it, but part of the fun was having him try to find me. And so I walked out into the warm, radiant sunlight, and down toward the sauna, because it was the first thing I thought of.

I knew Edward would give me a bit of a head start, just to make me feel creative, but barely an hour had passed before I heard his footsteps on the planks of the dock. My feet were dangling in the water in a vain attempt to cool myself down, and I kept my gaze fixed on the horizon. Edward would come to me, I knew. And he did.

"Hey," he said.

I turned around to see Edward, his hands in his pockets, looking bored.

"Hey yourself," I smirked.

"Sauna?" he asked, casually, with an air of hostility.

"I didn't wear a bathing suit."

"Oh," he replied, but his voice was the slightest bit deeper. "Are you a prude or something?"

He was trying hard to suppress a smile, but I continued to play along.

"No," I huffed. "Are you?"

"I'm comfortable with my nakedness," he said, and I raised an eyebrow.

"Somehow, I don't think seventeen-year-old Edward would have said that," I said with an amused smile.

"Shit," he said. "Okay, scratch that." He cleared his throat. "Fuck no, I'm not a prude. I love tits and ass."

"Oh, God," I said, rolling my eyes as I tried hard, really hard, not to laugh.

"Well, are you coming or not?"

I looked up at him, letting him squirm for a second or two.

"I'm coming," I said. And then I stalked off without him toward the sauna.

I got there a few seconds before him, and he walked up to me in his shorts and t-shirt, the slightest hint of a smile on his face.

"Well?" I asked. "Aren't you going to strip down for me?"

"I asked you first," he said.

"No you didn't," I retorted.

"Just shut up and get naked," he teased, faking anger. I shook my head and peeled off my clothes, until I was completely naked in the bright sunlight, my hands on my hips, looking bored. I was the furthest possible thing from bored, but I enjoyed watching Edward's reaction.

He cleared his throat, his eyes roaming across my naked form. When he spoke, it was husky and raw, and I knew this little game wouldn't last long.

"Well?" I asked.

He smirked at me, then took his time removing his shirt, shorts, boxers, and sandals. It had been a while since I had seen him naked in broad daylight, and it was a stunning sight. My mouth definitely dropped open a bit.

"Shall we?" he asked, opening the door to the steaming hot room. Thankfully, it was empty, although I had a feeling Edward had reserved this sauna for the entire weekend.

I lay down on the bench and closed my eyes, but I could feel Edward's eyes on me. I smiled because I was torturing him, and we both knew it. But this was his game, and he was asking for it.

"It's hot in here," he said in a deep, strained voice.

"Yes," I mused. "Yes it is."

"Maybe you should come over here and help me cool down."

"Maybe you should take a dip in the bay instead."

A low groan escaped his throat, and I finally opened my eyes to see him sitting on the bench across from me, his forehead drenched with sweat. He had a huge, goofy grin on his face, and I couldn't help but smile. He really did remind me of the teenaged Edward, although this one was decidedly bolder.

"Come here," he growled.

"But we don't like each other," I whined.

"We're taking a short hiatus."

And then he scooped me up and carried me out of the sauna, walked to the end of the dock, and before I knew what was happening, he threw me in the cool, calm waters of the bay.

"Edward!" I shrieked, but I was smiling. He stood with his arms crossed, laughing at my misfortune.

"Get in here!" I demanded, and he dove in, standing comfortably in the sand. The water came up to his chest, but it was well above my shoulders. He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up, grinning in the midday sun.

"You are so _mean_!" I yelled, splashing him gently in the face.

"I know," he said. "I'm mean and you're…evil."

"Evil?"

"Yes. All girls are evil. Every guy knows that."

"Nah, guys are evil," I said. "You're going to take advantage of me."

"I am," he said, his eyes a delicious, brilliant emerald. "Right here. Right now."

"You better," I breathed, my voice unsteady, my heart racing.

I didn't have to tell him twice.

***

Edward and I spent most of the day walking through the trees, exploring every acre of this little island we had come to know so well. He slipped in and out of his younger self, using a lot of expletives in random places, and walking with a swagger that I was sure he invented for my entertainment. I tried to remember what I had been like as a teenager, but I struggled to envision what she would say, or how she would act. She was still a part of me, I knew, but I could hardly relate to her anymore.

When I announced that I was hungry, we headed up to the main inn, where the familiar host welcomed us with a smile and led us to our usual table in the corner. I remembered some of the dates Edward and I had gone on senior year, which started out with a few awkward moments, but gradually became more natural as the months passed. He always made fun of me for giving waitresses my nastiest glares, because they weren't shy about hitting on Edward, even when I was _right there_. He never even noticed, but it drove me insane.

Of course, that never happened here, because Edward and I were older now, and we were wearing wedding rings, and we looked like we had known each other for a very long time. If only people knew the whole story, I thought. I wondered what they would think then.

Edward was tempted to order me a Big Gulp and fries, just like the ones Jasper had gotten us on that first bus ride, but I quickly vetoed that idea. So he ordered what we had had on our first official date, and I thought of the scared girl I was then, and the self-assured woman I was now. Where along the way had I changed? When had he? And why was it that so many people grew apart, and we had grown closer?

When we had finished our dessert, an elderly couple approached us, interrupting my silent reverie.

"I hope you don't mind," the woman began, "but my husband and I have been coming here for years, and every year, we look at you and…remember our younger days."

I smiled politely, unsure what to say. I never thought of anyone or anything aside from Edward when we came here; I almost forgot that other people even existed. But maybe people noticed us; it wasn't something I ever thought about.

"We just wanted to meet you," her husband finished.

Edward smiled, reaching out his hand to shake theirs, then gesturing toward me in introduction.

"I'm Edward," he said. "And this is Bella, my high school...nemesis."

"You've been together since high school?" the woman asked.

"We've been…coming here since high school," Edward corrected. The husband and wife looked a little bit confused, but this was nothing compared to the rest of the story.

"Oh," she said. "Well, you two make a beautiful couple. And you seem very happy."

I smiled because I wanted it to be true, I knew it was true, but we were so much more than that. We were happy because Edward made me happy, and we were beautiful because Edward brought out the best in me. Together, I could see why this couple had come up to us, why they picked us out from a crowd.

"Thank you," I said softly, returning Edward's gaze.

"How long have you been married?" Edward asked them.

"Sixty years," the man replied. "And I love her more now than the day we met."

"What's your secret?" I asked.

"Love is a sacrifice," he said, taking his wife's hand in his. "You have to be willing to give it all up, whatever it is, for the one you love."

It was strange to hear that coming from this elderly couple, who seemed completely immune from the world around them. But maybe time did that to people; maybe time erased the complications, and the uncertainties, leaving only love and companionship.

"Well, we hope you don't mind," the woman said. "We just wanted to meet you…and to ask you a favor."

"Of course," Edward said, although he looked a little worried.

"A few years ago, we heard you play the piano," she began. "We've never heard anyone play so beautifully…and we were wondering if you would play again, just a song or two."

Edward looked at me, studying my reaction, and I nodded gently. Edward's talent was meant to be shared, and whenever anyone asked him to play, I urged him to do so.

"I'd be happy to," he said. The couple smiled with delight, and I sat back in my chair as Edward stood up, preparing to listen for as long as he felt like playing. But Edward had other ideas, and he took my hand in his, pulling me up and bringing his lips to my ear.

"I can't play without you," he whispered.

A little shiver coursed down my spine, and I followed him through the crowded room to the piano by the window. We both sat down, and he placed his hands on the keys, silencing the room immediately. I leaned against him lightly, and lost myself in the music that everyone could hear, but only I could understand.

***

Edward continued to play until the room was empty, and Mr. Denali came in to wish us a good night. I placed my hand on Edward's as the hour grew late, and the room grew still. I was tired, but as always, I didn't want to sleep.

"I thought teenagers didn't need sleep," he said, pulling me up on his lap.

"Well, this one does," I said softly, wishing with every bone in my body that I could will myself to stay awake, just one more night. Just one more day.

"All right," he whispered, his hair dangling in his eyes, his face so close to mine that I could feel him breathing against me.

He stood up, taking me with him, as he carried me out the front door and onto the main path.

"This is not what happened nine years ago," I chided sleepily.

"You weren't this tired nine years ago," he teased.

I climbed out of his arms and landed lightly on the cool ground, feeling the wet grass between my toes. I took his hand in mine, exactly as I had done the weekend we met, minus all the nerves and sweaty palms.

"This is our last chance to be seventeen," I said. "I want to enjoy it."

"Okay, Mrs. President," he smirked, and we started our slow trek down the path toward the water's edge.

When we arrived at the cabin door, I opened the door and started inside, but Edward stood on the porch, unmoving. I arched an eyebrow, trying to decipher his puzzling expression.

"What is it this time?" I asked.

"Isn't this when I offer to sleep outside?"

"No, I think I do," I replied. "Let's switch."

I reached out to grab him, to pull him inside so I could stand on the porch with a pretend pout. But as soon as I did so, he took me by my hand and pulled me close to him, leaving me breathless with the sudden movement.

"I'm fast-forwarding a little," he murmured.

He led me into the room, bathed in the white light of the full moon, and I could hear the slow, sexy music of D'Angelo emanating from the bedside table.

"How did you—"

"Nevermind that," he said. "Dance with me."

So I did, and we did, and it was like the first time. I let my body melt into his, let him guide me with his unhurried, subtle movements, his fingers intertwined with mine, his breathing like a feverish breeze on my neck. My nerves buzzed from the feel of him, and I wanted more. I always wanted more, as much as he could give, and as much as I could take.

"I love dancing with you," he whispered into my ear.

"I love being with you," I murmured, feeling my blood thundering in my veins, intoxicated by his scent and his touch and the slight tremble in his voice.

"I love you, Bella."

Those four words. I could live my whole life, happily and completely, if those were the only four words he ever spoke to me.

And I knew our lives were complicated, and I knew we had been through an endless number of ups and downs and people and places, but I didn't care right then. I didn't care about the ring on my finger, or this body that had failed me, or the many obligations I abandoned to come here. I didn't care because this was all that mattered to me right now, and I had come here all these years for him, just for him.

"I love you, Edward," I said, from the bottom of my broken, damaged, stubborn heart. "I have always loved you."

***

**2019 is next, and you know what that means...**

**It means, well, you'll see. :)  
**

**Thanks for reading!  
**


	19. August 13, 2019

**A/N**: This is a very short chapter, especially since the first part should be familiar (things coming full circle here...). So I'm posting it earlier than planned.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it.

***

**Chapter 19: August 13, 2019**

**BPOV**

The thick scent of pine and salt water assaulted my senses as I opened the door into a beautiful, familiar room. Tiny white lights danced across the ceiling and the walls, casting a delicate sheen on the floorboards. A full moon radiated its steady stream of white light through the windows, giving the room an effervescent glow. I inhaled sharply. Memories of this place, this room, clouded my mind. I thought of him, as I always did. I thought of his painfully beautiful face, his crooked smile, his tousled bronze hair. I felt a tightening in my chest, a reaction to the memory—the absence—of him.

I placed my overnight bag on the table beside the door and stepped out of my sandals as the door closed behind me. A gentle breeze fluttered through the windows, warming the air on this sultry August night. I glanced out the window at the moon and the stars, their light undulating with the gentle waves of the Pacific. I pictured him standing in the water, waist-deep, his hands on the glasslike surface, enticing me to follow…

I sighed deeply. Turning from the window, I walked over to the large bed, draped in gossamer and transparent netting. The fabric rustled with the movement of the air, which came off the waves and left me breathless. The comforter was a stunning royal blue, the color of the sea, and I blushed at the memory of its desecration. It was so long ago now. As though a lifetime had passed.

I gazed into the mirror at my reflection, and I wondered how exactly I had changed in the last ten years. I saw the familiar porcelain complexion, the chocolate colored eyes, the chestnut brown hair that cascaded down my shoulders. My face was thinner, I thought, like the last of my childish features had finally disappeared. I looked more feminine now, more…adult. More beautiful, he had said.

I remembered him sitting here with me, cradling me in his lap, admiring the shy smile on my face as I studied our reflections. Like a voyeur, I watched him kiss my hair, tighten his arms around my waist, whisper in my ear. The mirror had its purpose, I mused. Several, in fact. My cheeks flushed a delicate pink at the thought of our bedroom activities. That, too, had changed over the years, adapting to our moods, our bodies, our experience as time went by.

I quickly lost track of time as I sat there, dangling my feet over the edge of the bed, gazing out the window at the full moon. I knew last year had been different than the others. Something had changed, but I had refused to think about it then. The two of us had come here for a decade, never arranging things beforehand, just showing up on the same date. If one of us didn't come, then the ritual would end. Simple. Infallible. Easy to escape, if one of us wanted to…

Somehow, the arrangement had become my most fiercely guarded secret, as well as the happiest two days of my year. I wondered, sometimes, how he explained his annual disappearances to the people in his life. I had encountered my own difficulties over the years, but somehow I managed to return here, year after year. I wondered about him in the months between our days here, but it was against the rules for us to talk about that; our outside lives had no place in this private corner of our existences. Those were the only rules, really. But they were enough.

The memory of our parting burned more deeply in my mind with each passing minute, and I felt my heart flutter and my breathing quicken. I sensed his absence deep in my chest, pulsing through my veins. I yearned for him, for his touch, for his sweet breath in my ear. I wanted to feel his strong hands roaming across my body, coaxing a reaction from every inch of my electrified skin. I wanted him here beside me, telling me everything was okay, that he was here last year, was coming this year, and would return every year for the rest of our lives.

Suddenly, a gentle knock at the door broke the stillness of the room and the intensity of my thoughts. I raised my eyebrows a bit at the interruption; no one, in all our years here, had ever disturbed us before. I walked out of the bedroom and into the entryway, hearing the timid call of my name behind the door.

I opened it to see the innkeeper there, his face uncertain, his forehead creased with apology.

"I am so sorry to disturb you, miss," he said, addressing me in his languid Canadian accent. "There is a phone call for you at reception."

I never brought my cell phone to this place, and the room itself was devoid of any modern technology. No television, no phone, no microwave in the tiny kitchenette. I only brought a few articles of clothing, and those were even less necessary once we both arrived.

"Oh," I said, surprised. Someone clearly knew I was here. "May I ask who's calling?"

"It's your husband," he replied. And he stopped, dropping his eyes, silenced by the look of shock that graced my face.

***

I couldn't speak for a few seconds, nor could I breathe or see or form a coherent thought. Mr. Denali stood in the doorframe, concern etched on his face. I nodded in a daze and followed him out the door, and into the night.

When we reached the main inn, I sighed with relief at the sight of the deserted reception area, faintly lit by the flickering desk lamp. Mr. Denali's smile was strained, and he quietly excused himself after directing me to the phone, the only phone on the entire island.

My fingers were trembling, my breath coming in quick gasps, when I picked up the receiver and held it to my ear.

"Hello?" I asked cautiously, tremulously, willing this to be a mistake.

"Bella!" he exclaimed, his familiar voice filling my ear. I closed my eyes, straining to keep my composure, hoping with every fiber of my being that I wouldn't break down, that I wouldn't cry—not now, not here, not to my husband.

"Why…why are you calling?" I managed.

"Bella," he sighed. "Come home. Please, come home." His voice was pleading, desperate. I felt my chest tighten and my eyes well with tears, knowing what this meant.

"I can't," I stammered. "I can't…right now."

"Please, Bella, I need to see you," he said, his voice shakier now, as though my staying or coming home would dictate the rest of our marriage.

"No…," I whispered, so quietly that I only I could hear it, but it wasn't a denial, or a refusal. It was a realization that my whole world was about to shift, and it depended on this moment, and the choice I made.

"I love you, Bella," he said.

"I know," I whispered. In spite of everything, he loved me still.

***

**A/N: I had to do this...I'm sorry! **

**Review please! It will help me get through my massive test on the kidneys this weekend, and I'll update faster! :)  
**


	20. August 13, 2019 cont

**A/N**: I apologize for the delay! See longer note at the end of the chapter...

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight or Rob (sigh).

***

**Chapter 20: August 13, 2019 (cont.)**

**BPOV**

It was late, very late, and the room was completely dark. A light rain pattered against the windowsills, as it had since this afternoon. I stepped inside and placed my keys on the table, my ears finely attuned to the sounds of the night. I stood amid the sounds of my own breathing and the softly falling rain, and I waited.

I took a few steps in the near-darkness, allowing my eyes to adjust to the flickering candlelight on the soft white walls. And then I felt his arms around me, circling my waist, his face in my hair. I gasped at his touch, because I hadn't heard him coming up behind me. My heart pounded, not from the surprise, but from the warmth and feel of his body so close to mine. I leaned into him, relishing the feel of his breath in my ear, his voice a low, intimate whisper.

"I missed you, Bella."

"I missed you, too," I said, feeling the familiar heat rise to my cheeks, course through my body, and leave me breathless. I turned around in his arms, needing to see his face, the face I knew and loved and couldn't live without.

I was smiling now, relieved to be in his arms, feeling safe and loved and blissfully content. His eyes danced with a mixture of mischief and anticipation, and it left me maddeningly impatient, and maddeningly happy.

"And what, my love, do you have up your sleeve this time?" I asked, returning his deep, mysterious stare.

"Come with me," he said, and he took me down the hall, to a room that had always been empty.

"Close your eyes," he whispered.

When he was convinced I had my eyes closed, he stood behind me as he guided me into the room, his arms around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder.

"Okay," he murmured. "Open."

I opened my eyes slowly, cautiously. As my eyes adjusted to the dim, warm light of the room, I felt my breathing catch in my throat, leaving me speechless.

"Do you like it?" he asked, and he sounded a little worried.

I was still too overwhelmed to speak, so I just nodded. The room was painted a soft, early-morning yellow, the color of sunrise, and the hardwood floors smelled faintly of pine. The walls were covered with pictures: of friends, of family, of us, through the years, as teenagers and college kids and now, as husband and wife.

There was a picture of him playing the piano in a huge concert hall, the site of his largest performance, the one I had flown in from Washington to see. And there was a picture of the two of us with the chef at The Herbfarm in Seattle, me standing in the middle, completely dwarfed by the man I loved on the left, and the massive chef on my right.

There were pictures of Alice and Jasper's wedding, and later, Emmett and Rosalie's, and the six of us standing outside the church, smiling widely in the sunshine. Someone had taken a candid of the two of us, dancing slowly on a deserted dance floor, something I never would have done as a teenager. But I happily danced with him, at weddings, in our bedroom, and last year, in the room that had started it all.

On the opposite wall, there were two pictures of us: one on our wedding day, lying on the wet grass as the sun set, me in my wedding dress and him in his tux. The adoring gleam in his emerald gaze brought tears to my eyes, as I remembered that day, one of the happiest of my life. And there was a picture of me from that night, sitting cross-legged in bed, that dark blue towel tucked under my arms as I rolled my eyes and smiled teasingly.

My chest tightened with so many different emotions that I couldn't stop the tears when they fell, darkening the fabric of my shirt that barely covered this body I hardly recognized. And it was then that I saw the crib in the corner, smelling faintly of fresh pine, a familiar blue color covering the tiny mattress.

"Edward—" I breathed.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said. "I had to let you go without me, because I wanted it to be a surprise…and this was the only way."

I smiled, easing the concern in his deep, pleading eyes.

"It's okay," I said. "It had to end sometime, and this…this is the perfect way."

I wanted to look around the room again, to admire the painting, and the pictures, and the careful attention to every detail. He wouldn't have done it any other way, I knew. And it _was_ perfect, like stepping back in time, reliving my most treasured memories. But it didn't compare to the sight of him, the reality of him, standing in this little nursery, looking already like the father he would soon become.

"I'll miss it, though," he said, running his hands down to my rounded belly, warming me with his touch. I felt a little kick; clearly he had a similar effect on the baby that he had on me.

"I will, too," I whispered.

"Falling in love with you that first time…" he said, reminiscing. "I told Jasper I didn't think it could happen in a day. He told me to suck it up and roll with it."

I smiled, thinking of Jasper and his disdain for mincing words.

"It took me two years to realize it, but after that…time in college…I knew I needed you back in my life," I said softly.

"I wasn't going to let you go again," he said. "I never should have let you go."

"You waited for me, Edward. Just like you said you would."

I brushed the wayward bronze strands from his face, wondering how I had ever lived a day without this man in my life. How I had left him, and he had let me go. It took me years to realize that Edward, even at nineteen, knew what love was; he knew it well enough to wait for it, when the time was right.

"We should have told the others sooner, though," I teased. "Before that class reunion."

"Alice figured it out," he said, chuckling.

"That's true. And she was pretty vocal about it at her wedding."

He grinned, remembering that night. Edward had given a very entertaining, very moving best man speech, and then Alice had announced that she and Jasper had started dating the same day that Edward and I had…which was true, sort of. Alice was so selfless, even on her wedding day.

"She was," he said. "I'm glad, too, because I didn't want any other goons stealing you on the dance floor."

I rolled my eyes in mock frustration, waving my hand dismissively.

"Well, you almost gave me a heart attack that one year."

"Oh," he said, remembering the night I had sat on his bed, practically begging him to move away from the door.

"That's all you have to say for yourself?" I joked.

"Hey, I mean, you try asking someone to marry you. It's stressful!" he said, and I smiled sympathetically, pulling him close.

"I know," I murmured. "You just gave me a bit of a scare, is all."

"I made up for it, didn't I?" he asked, grazing my chin with his thumb, coaxing me to look up.

"I would say so," I teased, thinking of him scooping me up on the path to the cabin, and carrying me over the threshold.

He smiled crookedly, taking my hands in his, feeling the sharp edge of my wedding ring. They honeymoon suite had, after all, fulfilled its destiny.

"So many memories," I whispered, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by our decade-long excursion to our cabin in the woods. "So many firsts happened there—first kiss, first time, first love…"

"I know," he said. "But today is special, too."

He pulled me closer so that his face was just inches from mine, his eyes so full of love and conviction that I pictured us, for an instant, fifty years from now, standing in this room and remembering this night, just as we remembered all the others.

"Today is August 13th," he said. "The day I fell in love with you, the day I asked you to marry me, the day I made you my wife. And that's true no matter where we are."

I leaned into his hand, feeling his breathing quicken and his heart race against the thin fabric of my shirt.

"And for me," he continued, "everyday is like the first day."

I smiled, my heart fluttering with this man in my arms, this man I had loved and lost and now belonged to, now and forever. I brought my hands to his face and pulled him down to me, taking his lips in mine in a soft, knowing kiss.

"Happy Anniversary," I whispered. "Today and everyday."

THE END

***

***

***

**Thank you SO MUCH for reading!! Please let me know how you liked it! I hope you enjoyed it! **

**I will post a longer author's note tomorrow explaining a few things, in case you want to read my take on things (it's very long, I'm warning you!).**

**And again, I apologize for the delay - I had this written on Saturday, but then this website died.  
**


	21. Author's Note

**Here it is, my long author's note! :) Thank you again for reading and for leaving me such kind reviews. You guys really encouraged me to keep writing!  
**

**As for some questions that might come up, here's how I pictured it (warning: this is kind of long - I'm sorry!):**

- Edward and Bella started talking again after their trip here in 2013 (the year of her incident in college), but officially got back together during the 2014 trip. They didn't talk to their friends much during the next year, since they were all out of college. Also, they were both a little wary of broadcasting their reunion, since they had broken up before. They were together in the 2015 chapter, but only Alice knew it. Alice and Jasper got married sometime that year (spring 2016), and during the next trip (that annoyingly short, cliffhanger chapter in 2016), Edward asked Bella to marry him (yes, that was the question he asked her). The trip in 2017 was their wedding night (if you go back and read it, I was trying not to make it obvious, which was really, really hard - and Edward is "scared" because he just got married, and that's a big, scary event for anyone! :). So yes, 2017 was the honeymoon night, and the honeymoon suite did "fulfill its destiny."

- Over time, Edward and Bella's personalities, vocabulary, and behaviors change. Edward doesn't curse as much, and the sex scenes aren't as graphic. This was intentional - I was trying to show the transition from adolescence to adulthood (at 26, I feel like I have some insight...or not...haha). And while I wasn't trying to make Bella or Edward seem unhappy in the later chapters (not at all!), I wanted to convey the realities of any relationship, including the ups and downs. Their wedding night was supposed to be a little scary for the both of them, because marriage changes everything. And they were both also worried that it would change the ritual somehow, because marriage comes with its own obligations and priorities. So that's where the angst came from in that chapter.

- In the 2018 chapter, I wanted to make it light-hearted, but I also really wanted to convey the pain that Bella was going through. I've never been married, but I can only imagine what it must feel like to want a baby so badly, and feel like your body is failing you. So of course Edward is there for her, not just that weekend, but all the time as her husband. But no matter how much he loves her, and would do anything for her, sometimes you just have to go through things on your own. Plus, Bella was reluctant to talk to him about it, because it made her feel inadequate - like she was failing them both.

- In the 2019 chapter, Bella goes to the island alone, so that Edward can stay behind to decorate the nursery for her. I purposefully left out details of how each of them actually gets to the island, so that it's possible that Bella drives there on her own, thinking that Edward will meet up with her later. For that reason, I'm assuming they live in Vancouver at this point, or somewhere pretty close to the island, so that Bella can realistically drive home that night and see him.

- Another note on that last chapter...Bella was upset when she got the phone call, because she knew immediately that he wasn't coming, and her world shifted. If you do something consistently for ten years, and then it ends, well...you're probably going to get kind of emotional about it (plus she's preggers...all those hormones ;). And especially in a place like this, where they shared so many things, Bella was bound to be a little shaken when she realized that for some reason, Edward was breaking the ritual. And as for the last line, about him loving her still, well...I think Bella is just thinking of her whole life, and all that they had been through, and the fact that Edward loved her no matter what.

- If the dialogue was misleading at times, it was meant to be that way! I really wanted people to think that Edward and Bella weren't married to each other (so if you thought that, then I did something right!). At least for me, I thought it would make for a better ending that way - to think about each of the chapters and consider what their status was at the time, but this was a bit of a game for them, so it was intentionally misleading...

- Also, I very rarely wrote the full weekend, so you can assume that they fell into old habits and talked about their lives or whatever at some point later in the weekend. I would have liked to have written those parts, but I didn't want to drag out the story too much, and I didn't want to give anything away.

- As for other relationships, or whatever, yeah...I mean, Bella was definitely with Jacob for a while, but I'm not a fan of his, so I didn't dwell on that. And Edward did whatever it is college guys do, but I didn't really focus on that, either. This is an Edward/Bella love story, and that's all I have to say about that.

- A couple details from Twilight that I included, but maybe weren't noticed, include the date of the trip (this is an estimate of their wedding day, based on events in the books), Rob's favorite music (go see his playlist on iTunes), the island itself was supposed to be reminiscent of Isle Esme (but I never called it that, because it seemed wrong for some reason), the image of him standing in the water, etc. etc. I'm sure there are more, but they are scattered in there randomly.

- I pictured my own version of their island in my mind (a similar place existed for me, on many levels), and I think that's why I tried to stress a lot of emotional highs and lows when Bella and Edward met in the same place, year after year. And I had to use some third-person dialogue to keep the suspense going (I did say they couldn't discuss the outside world - so I had them try and stick to that rule as closely as possible). As for the other 363 days of the year, well, I'm tempted to explore that a little bit, but...we shall see! If I do an outtake, it will probably be the rest of the proposal night, or Alice and Jasper's wedding.

- And lastly, I enjoyed writing this story so much and reading all your reviews that I considered scratching my original ending and doing a totally different one, where they really were married to other people. I can't imagine how much longer the story would have been that way, though, haha. Hmm...I'll think about that for a while, maybe take it in another direction. But this is the original ending, the one I pictured from the very start.

- If you have any story ideas or criticism or feedback, please review or pm me! Thank you all for your reviews and encouragement! :)


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